Going beyond using lame excuses

Blaming our past for not taking action to change our destiny for good is taken from a weak man’s playbook. Even if we’ve inherited a flawed past with so many disadvantages, we’ve the unlimited power to use today and inherit a glorious tomorrow.There should not be any excuse about our heritages. If we don’t like them, we’ve the power to change them for good. Let’s go beyond using lame excuses.

Unfortunately, I never met a person who got stuck, failed, or left behind taking responsibilities and own his/her circumstance. They always point to something or someone including their parents, relatives, spouse, peers, teachers, and the system where they grew up for where they are in life NOW. Paradoxically, only those who are truly successful are the ones profusely admit and then take ownership of their failures. This attitude of ‘I’m not the product of my circumstance’ enabled them to overcome extraordinary challenges.

 One of the common themes among excuses many people assign for their failures is ‘I was raised in a dysfunctional family’ or ‘I grew up in the wrong side of the fence’, and so on. These things happen all over the world. Nonetheless, we have countless successful people who overcame obstacles they faced during childhood or when they were young. Many of these individuals rather used the misfortunate circumstances into their own advantage.

Another huge excuse many people use is ‘I’m the way I’m because of WHO I’M.’ These individuals think that who they are was fixed long time ago and they don’t have any say NOW. They wrongly believe that the DNA they inherited from their pedigree predisposed them to fail. They’ve a distorted belief about the infinite power that resides within them. They don’t realize that they may not change the past but they are the authors of their future and they have the necessary power at their disposal if they just believe that they are the creator of their own destiny.

I’m not here just giving you a pep talk. Go ahead, research, and study. Space doesn’t allow me here to provide you details but there are some biologists who believe that genes can change in your favor. Your inner voice- your true self, can change the pattern of your genes. Yes, you may not be able to change your height, the color of your eyes, and the feature of your face but you definitely have the power to chart a new path for your life, career, and business by changing your genes and in turn by having the right attitude, sharp and quick brain, and healthy body.


Latest scientific discoveries about the brain- more specifically neuroplasticity, also demonstrate that our IQ isn’t fixed; our brain didn’t stop growing when we were young. Unlike past beliefs, most of which are faulty, our brain is limitless and an ever expanding organ. It changes, adopts, and our neurons multiply on a daily basis. It isn’t that it doesn’t grow. What you’re feeding it to grow that matters. You could feed it defeats, excuses, and limitations and it grows and becomes powerful to fulfill your self-prophecies against your own destiny. Or feed it great things, as you’re born great with unlimited potential, it grows to shape your future and deliver for you a glorious destiny. It’s up to you. The question is: Are you willing to go beyond using lame excuses to define, shape, and attain your glorious destiny? You can do it by changing your attitude, accepting responsibilities, taking bold and positive actions one at a time. I can only see a bright future for you. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help…


Dr. Assegid (AZ) Habtewold is a motivational speaker at Success Pathways, LLC. His passion is to inspire people to make positive changes in their attitude, mindset, values, and in turn to take bold actions to transform their lives, professions, and organizations. To learn more about the themes of AZ’s motivational speeches, check out this page: http://successpws.com/?page_id=20 The list isn’t complete. If the topics you’re looking for couldn’t make it to the list; let’s know, we can come up with the right topic and customize it for your audience.


Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 3:10pm
Doc, you'd be right in terms of broad strokes, but dude I gotta tell ya, there are instances in which the family, environment, country and SYSTEM one grows up in can have an overwhelmingly negative influence on the outcome of one's life- and to quote Ving Rhames from Pulp Fiction, "that's a hard mother-fucking fact of life".
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 3:16pm
Ryan, I gotta put you through 14 years of communism and 24 years of so-called democracy in a country where your home language ain't the first (with all the weird and "wonderful" things all that entails, including surveillance, false accusations, family lyin' to ya and so on), then we'll talk about "Victims become bitter. Successful people become better." after you've been tortured as a kid, suffered countless attempts on your life since the age of 5 and then got treated worse after moving to another continent. Because I'm beginning to lose my temper with your reflexive and uninformed bravo sierra, let me quote you from a poster I saw in a pub two weeks ago "How about a nice, big cup of Shut The Fuck Up? Think before you say something stupid!"
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 3:32pm
Yeah, those who haven't been oppressed and whose families are safe and cozily tucked in say that. Care to try Psy Ops, bugs in your house, a granny working for spooks, an uncle who tries to have your whole family whacked to protect his standing with The Party, survived murder attempts and standing face to face with a PLO killer without shitting your pants? Been there, done that, buddy- and it ain't no Holly wood script either. Care to have me oppress you a little so you can find out on your thin American skin just what it means? Grow up and STFU.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:14pm
Ryan, I abbreviated my story for a large number of reasons above your pay grade, but am also not going for "victim of the year" award, so hold your horses. Stop blithely and ignorantly dismissing other people's pain and you'll get somewhere other than lost, dude.
Yeah, I'll fight WW3 alright, but not to stay a victim as you put it. Instead it will be for my reasons instead of those society would give me. Can you say the same? I doubt it, for if you had seen and felt what I did, your words and attitude would be different.
Look, I seek no sympathy or empathy for what I and others endured, because you soft Americans have no ability to do it, and I speak merely from the point of one who survived for 14 years in a country whose average diet was so little and toxic that it was scientifically guaranteed to kill a westerner within a year, to say nothing of the crap commies got up to for the first 12 years of my life, which way over 95% of you couldn't have survived. All I said was that there ARE circumstances in which individuals can not prevail against the conditions surrounding and fighting against them, but no, you had to get all "hooyah, Marines" without having even been in a battle, let alone started your own anti-communist organization at the age of 11 and seeing 20 of your mates tortured in front of you.
I'm sorry to say you appear to know nothing of what I speak and with the last vestiges of civility available to me ask you to stop talking or writing about things which are clearly beyond your comprehension or experience, because your arrogant ignorance is painfully insulting.
Dr. Assegid Habtewold Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:14pm
Ryan, thanks for your compliment. I completely agree with you that our thoughts determine our destiny. This truth is not new. The wisest man who ever lived on earth- King Solomon said, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he." We are authors of our destiny because we have the power to give life or deny the thoughts that run in our mind. The dominant thoughts that are allowed to have life in our mind dictates the kind of destiny we are going to have. 
Dr. Assegid Habtewold Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:25pm
Mircea, it’s very hard to argue with someone’s own experience. That is unique to that person.
Unfair things happen in this world and it’s sad. This sad side of our world will continue to exist: Some oppress, others are oppressed. As you rightful said, one’s environment has an overwhelming negative influence on the outcome of one’s life.
We Ethiopians were subjected to brutality in the last more than 4 decades by our own leaders: First a military junta, and in the last more than quarter of a century by an ethnocentric minority regime. Talking about oppression?! These people kill unarmed protesters including kids, women, and elderly.
When you see this kind of criminality happening in the 21st C while humanity's civilization looks like has reached its peak, one wonder when this kind of inhumanity will be stopped? When shall we humans say enough is enough to a few tugs that oppress others. To be honest, I doubt whether we humans have the ability to stop unfair treatments of one human being by another, at least, in this generation.
That being said, however, I still argue that two people may live in that the same unfair world and one may come out alive and even become successful while the other may not even survive, let alone to succeed. Two people may grow up in the same ‘tough’ neighborhood and face similar circumstances. One may use the environment as excuse to play victim. Someone from that the same atmosphere may overcome whatever negative influences there may be in that environment- home, village, workplace, or marketplace- and may become successful.
I cannot say personally that I went to hell and came back compared to so many dreadful comeback stories I have heard. Whenever I think of unparalleled oppression in human history, I always think of Hitler's oppression on the Jews. Yes, we have seen other oppressions by, for instance, Apartheid and even by our own modern day communists. In comparison, however, Hitler's oppression against Jewish tops all oppressions. In the midst of than inhuman oppression including burning people and skinning them alive, the man Ryan just mentioned, Viktor E. Frankl survived and able to recount the horror stories. He wrote a classic autobiography entitled “Man’s search for meaning.”
His close families, and many of his fellow prisoners couldn’t make it. How did he survived? It looks a miracle but he disagreed. His attitude and the thoughts he processed in his mind regardless of the deadly and hopeless outside environment enabled him to come out alive from that hell. Here are some of his own words: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:27pm
Believe it or not, a little analysis would reveal that I'm one of the few, if not the only one, who takes it easy on you for all the reflexive (as opposed to reflective) nonsense you write. I disagree with you where warranted and agree when it seems right, but never, not once, did I ever insult you in the way you've been insulted by others. Had my experiences of which you know so little not made me the man I am today, you'd probably have found " 'n mal Engelsman" on your doorstep long ago- and then you'd have found the REAL meaning of suffering. So, with the utmost respect for your fine constitution (and First Amendment) on whose behalf so many fine men and women have bled (terminally in countless cases), I advise you to tone down your armchair tough guy routine before you stupidly insult a man who'll have the means to do worse than break your nose.
Dr. Assegid Habtewold Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:55pm
Ryan, I read James Allen's small classic book, and it is very empowering...
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 4:59pm
Ryan, just you wait until the system you live in turns against you, then we'll talk. As for which communist regime, I'd say the Romanian one. Its secret police was the most feared of the whole Eastern Bloc and the things they did would make Eugene de Kock puke. I mean, not even the C101 ( C10 or more commonly, Vlakplaas) unit beat people until blood spattered the cell walls, then shot them in the head, buried them in the foundations, leveled the building AND built a Palace of the Children in its place so that victims can't get a decent Christian burial to this day because nobody wants to dig up the foundations of the "new" building for the victims' corpses- and that's just one little piece of evil the Securitate did...
Man, I'm telling you straight- not even your worst nightmares come close to what the people I fought against did between 1947 and 1989.
Doc, I hear you and you get no argument from me, except to say that Nazi rule was far worse than anything the Afrikaners did during apartheid in South Africa. Ethiopia? Man, that was and still is a tough place to live. I know a little of what Mengistu and his goons did. coming out of there is no mean feat, so- Respect, Sir.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 5:06pm
Nietzsche was right, if you stare into the abyss, it will stare back into you, so I'm sorry to say the environment one is brought up in does leave an indelible mark upon the individual. Sure, the effects differ from person to person, but just as light can have no definition without darkness, neither can the dark be defined without light- so there will be good in evil and evil in good, the preponderance of which depends on the individual results of the equation, optimistic statements notwithstanding.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 5:07pm
Doc, stay out of South Africa for your own well-being and that of your family, if you've got one, because this place ain't worth another immigrant's blood- and this is an immigrant telling you from cold, hard and too often bloody experience.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 5:54pm
Michael B.:
Brother, you're right and then some. Sadly, Ryan spoke out of ignorance and stepped on sensitive areas only the knowledgeable would've dared tread upon- all without sight, feel or sense of where the eff he was going- and it's too late to back out now no matter how much he tries to. I've always stood up for Ryan as much as his stupidity has allowed me to and recommended to the other guys to knock off the closet homo bit and other choice hits below the belt in pursuit of his literary nether regions, but this guy seems to have no brains and thus no idea that he's gone so far as to slit his own throat.
You see, genuine ignorance I can handle in a decent and humbly informative way, but Ryan's quasi-religious bravo sierra has really going too far for First Amendment or common sense. This guy not only doesn't know what receiving 38 stitches on an arm in the pursuit of humanity, decency and honor in the face of evil look like, but he's just begging to get a Taiwanese version of Cold Steel hardware cut a Y-incision upon his stoma-thoracic cavities in public without any chance of sainthood I might add, you know?
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 6:01pm
Oh, yeah. Besides the Y-incision, a stab-and-twist of my "old faithful" to the medulla applies primarily because I'm no Abu Musab al Zarqawi or Jihadi John- I do believe in clean removals of the "one shot, one kill" variety.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 6:26pm
Hehe. How many facial bruises present?
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 6:36pm
Meeting a U.S, Navy SEAL in a civilian context is the closest thing to "normal people" getting PTSD aka "getting the fuck scared outta ya by professionals".
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 6:37pm
Once you piss off the afore-mentioned SEAL, that is, 'cause them dudes be cool until given reason to be hot...
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 6:57pm
Do yourself a favor, Ryan, and stay out of big boys' conversations. "Per ardua ad astra" was my company's motto when I was in the SA army, and you know stuff-all about the kind of hard road you're talking about, especially if you gotta bleed for about 45 minutes (because you have honor, unlike 75 other pussies) before you finally leave a blood-spattered toilet for the darkness beyond the stars, so for the last time- "How about a nice, big cup of Shut The Fuck Up?"
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 7:14pm
Michael, I know of the series SMASH and also a bit about the real history of the actual unit, but the character doesn't ring a bell. Tell me, did he get his effing medulla spiked by a very sharp knife for his stupid utterances addressed to guys who've been there, done that and wore out the T-shirt?
Mircea Negres Added Aug 27, 2016 - 7:18pm
Damn it, but "Anal Mess" is getting on my nerves so badly that I even got wrong the acronym of a famous U.S. Army unit. With the utmost humble apologies, "M.A.S.H."
Dr. Assegid Habtewold Added Aug 27, 2016 - 10:50pm
Hi Marsha, thanks for stopping by to redirect us to the main theme of the original article. It's about helping people who are doubting themselves believe in themselves and overcome adversity because they have the innate and built-in power to do so...
By the way, you gave me a break. I didn't know what to do with these guys as they fight furiously except I found myself like the metaphorical grass hurting when two (three) elephants fight :-) lol
Joke aside, I like your theme: From Victim to Victor. It's very powerful because you are authentic. You transformed yourself from victim to Victor, and now helping others to make the transformation using your story.
I visited your website and learned that you have a book entitled “The Shattering”. Great work. In the world filled with countless victims, your kind of message, heart, and commitment is highly needed... Way to go Marsha!
Jeffry Gilbert Added Aug 27, 2016 - 10:54pm
Dr, MESSano deserves to be put in it's place. Don't resist it. 
Dr. Assegid Habtewold Added Aug 27, 2016 - 11:33pm
My pleasure Marsha. Sure, would love to keep in touch. You're right. We share a similar message...
Stone-Eater Added Aug 28, 2016 - 1:10pm
Yawn again. Another good article and attempt to be invaded by Ryan who seem to be able to make almost ALL articles like his own. 
Mircea Negres Added Aug 28, 2016 - 1:20pm
Doctor Habtewold and M(r)s. Barth:
First, please accept my compliments on a thought-provoking article and interesting comment respectively.
Second, please accept my apologies for going against my usual practice of not feeding trolls looking for attention and the resultant mess my anger at Mr. Messano's insensitive comments has caused. I should have handled it better and normally that's what I do, but last night he just pushed my buttons so far that I lost my temper, much to my regret and quite likely your discomfort.
Mircea Negres Added Aug 28, 2016 - 1:32pm
Mr. Messano, you have no idea of the anger and hurt your narrow-minded and ignorant comments have caused me and am saddened that I have to reply here. Much as I dislike and regret that I stooped down to your level, I do not regret saying what I did and quite frankly couldn't care less what you think of my responses- and no, I didn't threaten you. In fact it was a bit of violent fantasy on my part in response to your outrageous provocations. What, you've never thought about breaking somebody's nose or sticking a knife where it'll hurt those who insulted you? Quite honestly, it was frustration that boiled over and while I regret having done it because I usually hold myself to higher standards, you deserved the tongue lashing I dished out. Much like Dr. Habtewold pointed out, it's about communication; we try to make ourselves understood and respected by 100% of the people 100% of the time, but it's just not possible, even though I respected your opinions and responded far more respectfully than others until last night.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Aug 29, 2016 - 11:15am
Nobody causes me to be angry but me.
Yet I make you wet your short pants. 
Jeff Michka Added Oct 11, 2018 - 9:26pm
Ah, so Messano got kicked off Facebook again, so had to come back to WB.  Seems the best thing was done, and his screed was deleted.  So maybe the voters in the sorry ass school district you are running for office in needs more Messano texts.  Why don't you and Lindsay get together and tell women how stupid they are as voters again?  Leave this new guy alone.  The Dr. is at least trying, even if Mircea is all worked up over it.  You hate anyone that seems to be better educated and honored than you.  Like how you hate real ministers.  I know, The First Church of Ryan doesn't need educated clergy. 
Bill H. Added Oct 11, 2018 - 11:59pm
Jeff - It looks like Messano's comments here were made several months ago. It also looks like he actually deleted his WB account and all of his past postings and comments.
Maybe he finally came to the logical conclusion that if his comments and writings here on WB were to be unveiled to the voter base in his city, he would have virtually no chance of being elected to any position, let alone the local school board.
Dino Manalis Added Oct 12, 2018 - 8:35am
 History is an important lesson to make necessary changes to improve and not make the same mistakes over and over again.
Jeff Michka Added Oct 12, 2018 - 8:00pm
Bill H, I think Ryan had to delete his account to erase all the land mines he planted that voters in his area were directed to and read.  He has never paid any price for his screeds and accusations, but voters reading his crap like calling women voters all stupid and mindless)won't help him get elected, and those comments remained.  He'll be back when he loses the election or gets tossed off Facebook again.

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