FITZICKLE FETNESS RELOADED ON REQUEST

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In 2014 we have another kind of audience who enjoyed humor a lot more than now. I repost that old article therefore...

 

I had this very thoughtful discussion with a friend who urged me to make it public. It might read a bit unusual since he's from Taurokko, and they have a very special way of conversation. But since I've been his neighbour in Noaratabia, I will paste it here:

 

"Keep looking for what's hidden!"

 

"I've got very bad eyes, unfortunately."

 

"I will lend you my personalised glasses, they magnify everything to show the big picture of life from my point of view"

 

"Oh thanks, that way I hear better. The problem with my back is, when I walk long distances, I get a nervous foot that itches on my left index finger."

 

"I shall lend you my glove, it is good for scratching the back, and when the index finger is covered by it, both effects are removed simultaneously and you can always put your best foot forward, know what I mean."

 

"I've tried that, thanks, but now, if when blink with my left ear my right eye starts to tremble. I've got to see my butcher about that. I probably need a hearing aid to better support bright sunlight."

 

"Place a Raw Rump steak, preferably not bleeding or starched shirt will be soiled, at the back of the head and tie a rubber ban across it from from one ear to another. This balances the tremble in one eye as both eyes will tremble at the same time, just put a Moshe Dayan, the UV rays controlled patch on both eyes to support even brightness of the sunlight, but make sure they are see through or you may trip and hurt yourself"

 

"I did as you told me, but since I couldn't find a Rump Steak, and looked for another way to help, I was recommended to put 98 well cooked spaghetti without sauce around my ankles and sing "Help" by the Beatles in C minor for 5 minutes. Would you believe it helped ? I hear now down to 3 decibels with my left eye, and this friend of mine has finally found a new job. You are fantastic, thanks again!"

 

If you need his address in any turmoil of life, he can help.

 

Addendum 2017: My third self Warg asked my second one, Torg, whether he finds that old one amusing. Torg said : "Arggh...ckalll". Warg told me then that Torg actually wanted to say "Arf, fnölt ckit". THEN I understood finally.

Comments

Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 3:33pm
Im memoriam of my good friend Tony who has found a life outside of the net :-)
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 3:57pm
HEY BUGGIE !!!
 
Nice to see you back ! We need more weird people like you to get a fresh breath.
 
What's new ?
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 3:58pm
BTW: Oh sorry, 4got the smiley ;-)
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:05pm
Steve....
 
we wait :-)
 
Don't Borsher too long !
Kaushik Venkatasubramaniyan Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:06pm
Nice to see you Bug :) 
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:20pm
Buggie
 
I just told Torg. He said - I repeat:
 
"Get me that old lady at 21° West over here. And when she's no more than 5"8" I'll tell her how many apples there are in my Chevy".
 
Warg on the other hand just replied:
 
"22° is too cold, idiot."
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:21pm
Tuff guys, those ones. That's why I don't let them write here.
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:30pm
I'm back from clearing my driveway. Lots of snow here among the beaches. Say something warm and sunny
 
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 4:48pm
I said warm and sunny, not hot and sticky!!!
 
And, yes, my mind is permanently bent, but in the right direction.
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 5:07pm
My dog likes carrots.
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 5:43pm
Steve
 
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
warm and sunny
 
OK ? Sheesh...it's getting hot !!!
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 5:44pm
Buggie
 
Those who laugh last think slowest
 
Nope. They laugh last because they figured it's not funny but they try to be polite.
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 5:46pm
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
 
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way but figuring out another way, even though it might not be as comfortable..."
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 5:48pm
Save a tree, eat a beaver!
 
Yeah. I like them fried. And use the tail to scrape out the pan afterwards. Torg ?
 
"MMbra!!!!"
 
He ate the tail, the dumb bugger !!!
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 6:35pm
The dog has guile and uses tools, but I'm not one of them. But I am his favorite chew toy. And since my name derives from borscht, he probably would like beets, but, for now, it beats me.
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 6:44pm
Buggie
 
Don't know what you will do with a beaver but fantasy is endless, right ;-)
 
Stone-Eater Added Feb 10, 2017 - 6:49pm
Steve
 
A dog using tools ? Must be a hybrid. And Borscht is a Russian soup, so Warg would say "Argh, a commie, send him to Kim Chat Fungh !"
 
But since I love dogs (deep fried) I can't really comment on that.
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 7:38pm
Speaking of exctasy, you did pick my favorite Catwoman. "Hell Here".
Steve Borsher Added Feb 10, 2017 - 7:43pm
BTW, is Fitzickle Fetness something I can just eat to stay in shape, like a lemon/lime popsicle; or maybe a pomegranate one?
Stone-Eater Added Feb 11, 2017 - 5:54am
Steve
 
Gotta ask Tony what Fitzickle Fetness is......:-)
Stone-Eater Added Feb 11, 2017 - 5:54am
Buggie
 
No Catman. Scatman.
Steve Borsher Added Feb 11, 2017 - 10:49am
"That's why I'm goin to Katmandu (sic)
Up to the mountains where I'm going to
If I ever get out of here
That's what I'm gonna do - Bob Seger
Stone-Eater Added Feb 11, 2017 - 12:49pm
Yep. Checking out what Freak Street looks nowadays...
Steve Borsher Added Feb 11, 2017 - 1:17pm
Probably not as freaky as Old Freak Street.
Stone-Eater Added Feb 11, 2017 - 6:54pm
Surely not. I liked it back in 1979, though...
Steve Borsher Added Feb 11, 2017 - 7:03pm
Same is true of Deval St in Key West.

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