"Do you want to buy a candy bar"?


The young african american boy inquisitively asked me back in 2006, as he held out a box of candy.  And this was how a friendship began.  For, we shall call him Ron, was a prodigy.  He could sit and talk for 30 minutes, and we discussed all kinds of things.  We talked about his school, we talked about his family.  We talked about his brothers, we talked about his mother and father.  We talked about why he was out walking alone at age 7 selling candy, without being supervised.


Yet, he came by often, and was doing well in school.  But there was a dark side that I didn't know at that time.  You see, Ron was abused by his father, and by his mother.  He had been sexually molested at the age of four, and as usually happens, this causes people to develop homosexual attractions.  As the years passed, he came by, and his visits stopped in 2009, when the location of the office changed.  Three years later, I had my own company.  I stood watching a tattooed, lanky young man with dyed hair looking at my office.  "Are you Ryan"?  "Yes, I am" I said uncertainly.  Not having had many good experiences with tattooed young men with dyed hair, I was not having great expectations.


"It's me, Ron".  "Wow"!!, said I, "You look so different."  Indeed, he did!!  And it wasn't for the better.  I tried to shield my disappointment in my face as I looked at the boy who was so intelligent, and had such a great future in store seemingly, who looked like this.  He was listening to an iphone. So, I told him to come inside, and we talked for a bit.  He was not doing well in school or at home.  He said people were picking on him constantly, and his mom was beating him.  I tried to help him out with some tips on how to deal with difficult situations.  I bought him some cloths and some books, and told him to drop in whenever he needed to.  And, it progressed.  But, he was picked on at school.  He had effeminate mannerisms, and was openly homosexual due to his childhood molestation.  At 15 he was pimped out by a friend of his who was 16.  He was beaten.  This "Pimp" became his "boyfriend".  He fell "in love" with another young man who died of an illness.  He wanted to make his last name the same as the deceased "boyfriend", and he wanted to get a tattoo of his deceased, which he did.  


I had some serious talks with him.  Let him know where his attraction came from, and told him he didn't have to stay like this.  Time passed.  He now has one child in the system, at age 17, and another on the way.  He just went on the homosexual prostitution site "GRINDR", to try and make some money, and was raped so badly two weeks ago that he required 18 stitches to his excretory system.  Blood was all over the place, and the hospital where he was treated didn't even think to report the rap to the police.  They simply treated him and released him.  So little kids get raped in our society, and medical professionals have been intimidated into being quiet about it.   He can barely walk or sit, and his excretory system may be permanently affected.  


The system here in California is badly broken.  When he is put in group homes he is abused, or they try to drug him.  He is not emancipated and will not turn 18 until May, so he is in limbo.  Homeless shelters and others cannot legally help him by law until he's 18.  


I tried to guide him away from the pop culture that lies to him so much, and to get him into books. He has started reading.  The painful part is he has to cut off connections to so many bad influences.  I also told him he needs to give up his phone, as a child should not have a cell phone when getting into vile filth is an option.  That was rough, but he is supposed to turn it over to me today.  Also, am considering who the best lawyer will be to file a $5 million lawsuit against GRINDR for their negligence in allowing children to advertise and incur horrific damages that may last a lifetime.  


And he is the latest of the children who our society targets.  We either use contraception to avoid having children, or abortion to get rid of the ones we don't want, or, when a child comes into the world, many are abused and sexually molested.  What a sick society and world we live in.


It's not going away until we reverse the damage of Kinsey's Sexual Sabotage.  Until porn, contraception, homosexuality, and abortion are all criminalized again, and we are able to powerfully override the chirps and squawks of the mentally deranged left, many of whom are too hurt to be able to comprehend truth, this problem will persist.  


Ron did not deserve to be born into a world much worse than the one most of us were born into. What is your excuse for allowing this to happen?  Like it or not, when harm happens to any, we are all to blame, in our communities.  But most of us are loath to admit our selfish habits are harmful at all to others.  We like to believe the fairytale that our choices only affect us, no one else.


It's not true.  Ron deserves better, and so do the millions of children who have not yet been born.  Our choices today affect the lives of unborn billions.  We choose life or death with every choice.  Choose wisely.




Stephen Hunter Added Feb 20, 2017 - 4:59pm
Ryan your generosity in helping Ron is heart warming. 
I totally disagree with your views on why some are homosexual and others not. Sexual behavior is driven by our Reptilian brain, and we come into this world hard wired with our sexual predispositions. 
Ryan Messano Added Feb 20, 2017 - 5:10pm
Thank you.  The media and schools have been carefully indoctrinated to hide the real roots of homosexuality from us, but the fact is, no one gets into homosexuality unless they were molested, viewed porn, or had no father figures.  The vast majority of homosexuals follow that pattern.  Since few Americans know anyone well enough to know the answers to those very personal queries, most Americans are duped by fake science, like the fraudulent Kinsey Report, and Evelyn Hooker.   There is no gay gene, and the fact that many have left homosexuality is proof positive it is a distinct choice.  Desires are fluid.  If any of us is put in an environment where naked men are around us constantly in our childhood, we very well all may turn out with homosexual desires. When sex is engaged in, our brains are hardwired to rewire to create paths for the experience, and we are creatures of habit.  
Patrick Writes Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:08pm
Very interesting post. Thanks Ryan. 
I know of someone personally who was molested as a child and was gay in his pre-teen and teen years, eventually leaving it (with nudging from family as there were girls interested in him) and is married now.
Thomas Sutrina Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:33pm
Thank you,  the government tells us that they are there to protect children like your Ron.  But the facts do not support their words.  We just look at Chicago.  All of those gang members were other Rons'.  What the government actually did was to replace the fathers with Uncle Sam, an absentee parent that rewarded single parents with money under the claim of protecting these children, Aid To Dependent Children.  The destruction of families continued for decades starting during the administration of FDR.  So other administrations chose to let the destruction continue.
EXPAT Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:38pm
Nobody deserves anything Ryan. There is far worse that takes place every day. I recently read about a child who was kept in a cage, and constantly beaten, tortured, and starved until she died at age 4.
This is the world your GOD created Ryan! Why didn't you seek custodianship of this boy? Surely there was a case file on him by Social Services due to your complaints.
I was friends with a councilor for teen prostitutes who told me of many such cases. They are particularly common in California.
How many times did you call this number Ryan?

Get Help Now!
Call Our 24/7 Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in over 170 languages. The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources. All calls are confidential.
The hotline has received more than 2 million calls since it began in 1982. These calls come from children at risk for abuse, distressed parents seeking crisis intervention and concerned individuals who suspect that child abuse may be occurring. The hotline is also a valuable resource for those who are mandated by law to report suspected abuse, such as school personnel, medical and mental health professionals and police and fire investigators.
What to expect when calling the hotline: (If this is an emergency, call 911.)
When calling 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453), a qualified crisis counselor will answer and assist you, if you:

Need help and want to talk to a counselor.
Are in physical or emotional crisis and need support and encouragement.
Need to be connected to the best possible resources in your area.
Have questions about the signs of child abuse.
Need to find out how to report known or suspected abuse.
Have questions about the reporting process and what you might expect through the process.
Want to learn about Childhelp programs that will address you or your child’s needs.
Want to learn about resources available to parents, grandparents and caregivers.
Need emotional support as a survivor of abuse.
Want a referral to an agency, counseling or other services near where you live.
Want literature mailed to you. (Allow two weeks for delivery via the U.S. Postal Service.)
Want information on how to make a donation to Childhelp.
Childhelp crisis counselors cannot come to the home where the abuse is happening and take away the child or teen who is in danger of being hurt and put them in a new home.
The Childhelp Hotline crisis counselors can’t make the child abuse report for you, but we are here to help you through it.

Childhelp counselors can assist you by providing options based on the situation you describe. They cannot tell you what to do or guarantee that a specific outcome will occur.

Ryan Messano Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:40pm
You're welcome, Patrick.  That is good to hear, always wonderful to hear about those who escaped from this behavior.  Exactly right, Thomas.  The government is no help at all, and is full of greedy and often immoral people who "help" just to get taxpayer dollars.  The system drugs kids like Ron up.  Can you believe his social worker gave him bags of condoms for free and encouraged him to use them?  I was furious.  These are our tax dollars going to pay for troubled kids to have promiscuous sex to mess their lives up even further.
EXPAT Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:40pm
Ryan Messano Added Feb 20, 2017 - 6:59pm
Thank you Expat.  Turning him over to the "system" has never really worked.  He has been abused and drugged up, given condoms, and gotten even worse.  I'm at the point that if I don't know the organization personally, I don't deal with them.  Pretty sad.  I've referred him to numerous organizations in town, and his social worker has sent him all over California, and each time, the problem continues.  He is three months away from his 18th birthday, and just got two jobs, so he has something to work on. Our incompetent and inefficient government is a joke.  Besides, they are just using our tax money to bungle helping people, when we could more efficiently do it on our own.  The abuse hotline has all kinds of celebrity endorsements, and I simply don't trust it.  My experience has been they often look good from far, but are far from good.  I would let him live with me, only thing is I have a mother and brothers that I am taking care of at the moment.  Besides, his experiences are so toxic, I can't even risk exposing my brothers to them.  I'd never forgive myself if something happened.  I've contacted at least a dozen pastors and religious leaders in the community, and all said to put him in the system.  It's very sad.  
EXPAT Added Feb 20, 2017 - 9:31pm
Ryan. It sounds like HE is the problem. You have to want help before anyone can help you!
Ryan Messano Added Feb 20, 2017 - 9:38pm
That would be true, Expat, if he were over 18. But, for a minor who has endured what he has, to hold them accountable for choosing right and wrong before their brain is fully formed at 25, to even decide between the two, it's a stretch, IMO.  I know I never went through what he went through, and I don't think many of us have.  It's been shown the brain rewires itself to desire whatever experiences it has had in childhood, so sadly, he is programmed to desire this stuff probably for the rest of his life.
EXPAT Added Feb 20, 2017 - 9:57pm
It's not age Ryan. I was married at 15. You said the authorities tried shipping him all over the state. That means HE is deficient in some way. Nothing can change that. I'm sure he will be on Heroine if not already, and be dead by 21.
Life is not what we want it to be, but what is!
Ryan Messano Added Feb 20, 2017 - 10:04pm
You were married at 15?!!?  Wat?!  What state was that in?  I went on a date with a Muslim woman in the last year, and she was married in California under Sharia law at 15,and divorced just 6 short years later.  She wanted me to go to Mosque and become a good Muslim, and she said she'd marry me and have as many kids as I wanted.  Tempting proposal, but my problem is I know Islam is a death cult, and no child of mine is coming into this world with those beliefs, and they are going out of my life if they ever adopt them.  
He is just smart.  Just like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew over the Cuckoo's nest".  To his credit, he doesn't touch alcohol or drugs, which is a bright spot for him.  
EXPAT Added Feb 20, 2017 - 10:34pm
New York City Ryan! I had to go to Family court and my parents consent, with a compelling reason. She was pregnant! The Judge married us at the same time!
I was on my own from the time I could walk, and grew up waaaay too fast. I earned my own way ever since I could remember. I was thrown up, not brought up. I too was gifted, and could have been a genius if I had Parents who cared. But c'est la guerre .
Mircea Negres Added Feb 21, 2017 - 2:51am
The destruction of a human being is a sad and wasteful thing to see. It usually happens because individual refusal to get involved even in the slightest way becomes widespread to the extent that it turns into a social norm. Then again, adopting an abused dog is easier and cheaper than that of an abused human being- and how many people like to do hard things? As a priest said in the movie Boondock Saints, "Now, we must all fear evil men, but there is another evil out there we must fear even more- the indifference of good men". I recently wrote a letter to my local newspaper about a similar situation where unlike others, I got involved. If it doesn't get published soon, I'll post it on WB.
Ryan, the damage you see today could've been stopped earlier if any of the kid's neighbors, friends, teachers etc. had bothered, if the system worked properly and IF somebody had been willing to take on a hard task such as this. But they didn't, and what you see is what you get. Maybe there's hope for this young man, but so much damage has been done that chances are it will be a life-long struggle without good odds of success. I know it sounds callous, but at this point one has to hope that the kid somehow makes it through or dies, for if not, he'll either destroy himself soon or take others along for the ride down into the abyss.
Ryan Messano Added Feb 21, 2017 - 1:20pm
Wow, Expat!!  That is interesting.  Children who get into sex early, often develop desires that stay with them for a lifetime.  
Very true Mircea.   And you are right about how it's hard to help an abused human, because they are very abusive as well.  I have left out Ron's abuse of others and me at times, because it is to be expected.  To think an abused human is going to naturally turn out like Jesus is just not feasible.  Hurt people hurt people.
Dino Manalis Added Feb 21, 2017 - 3:16pm
Everybody's mental health has to be taken seriously, both the abused and the abusers.  Social services should be an integral part of law enforcement.  We need to protect our children from abuse, parents; teachers; neighbors; doctors; coaches; everyone has to pay attention!  That's why I believe  in addition to classroom attendance, personal counseling ought to be required to deal with other personal problems.
Janie Smith Added Feb 21, 2017 - 5:23pm
This is a very sad story and one that I have heard often.  Sexual abuse may not be the only reason for homosexuality but there is an undeniable association, especially for male children...but female too. 
Ryan, you are correct, he is a child.  15 years of age does not make an adult, I am not sure 18 or even 21 does.  But, certainly, during the ages when brain development is still taking place, you run the risk of creating abnormal pathways.  And full frontal lobe development may not happen till the early twenties.  Still even in adulthood, a brain can be forced to make new pathways, new associations like with drug and alcohol addiction. 
The only problem with this child is that he probably does not even know what is really normal anymore.  The greatest offense to a child is the rape of their trust and love, without that sense of worth, that sense of safety, they wither and die inside.  
This story breaks my heart and is a sober reminder of how little we all do to make a difference for at-risk children.  Ryan, your empathy for him and his trust in you makes this story all the more poignant, it really hit me in the chest. 
Ryan Messano Added Feb 21, 2017 - 5:42pm
Sorry to hear about wife #2, Richard, and you hit the nail on the head when you said, "The problem is that our laws break up the family. Women are paid more for kids if the father is away."  What happens in Puerto Rico is common in America.  Parents have a hard time raising children, and they fund their dysfunction.  Many kids need to be dealt with firmly and with discipline.  But the parents are too busy working to pay attention to them, so they think paying money to them will solve the problem.  It never does.  
Ryan Messano Added Feb 21, 2017 - 6:25pm
Thank you Nosh M, I have to say your words are profoundly insightful and true, though, I have never seen the ideas presented as you present them.  
"Just as an idea unexpressed in physical action is contemptible hypocrisy, so is platonic love—and just as physical action unguided by an idea is a fool’s self-fraud, so is sex when cut off from one’s code of values; only the man who extols the purity of a love devoid of desire, is capable of the depravity of a desire devoid of love."
Very wisely said, and very true.  That said, Pornography is completely evil and has no redeeming value.  It involves the abuse of those performing and those viewing, and it degrades entire societies.  We are starting to turn the corner.  I just saw Breitbart passed ESPN and Pornhub (the biggest porn site on the Internet) in the Alexa rankings as the 29th most popular site in the United States.  Which means American men are starting to get tired of being couch potatoes and worthless sex addicts and are starting to mobilize to become a force in politics.  When all the men of a nation are involved in the struggle for freedom and liberty, (and are rid of the pursuit and worship of hedonism and leisure) the opposition, in this case the Democrats, stand no chance.  
Contraception: We differ.  Homosexuality has been shown to be dangerous, unproductive, and leads to misery.  Amazingly enough, Hollyweird just came out with a movie called "I am Michael" which shows the transformation of a young, radical homosexual activist into a happily married Christian man with children.  It's quite touching and beautiful.   The movie is too explicit and I won't be watching it, but the principle stands.  Salvation is possible for all those who pursue it.  Children should never be viewed as mistakes.  It is only in our materialistic, hedonistic society that they are viewed that way. They are blessings, not burdens, joys, not misery bringers.  Our view of children is a mirror of our view of ourselves, but it takes brutal honesty to admit it.  Those who love themselves truly, could never bear to refuse the world the gift of having replica's of themselves introduced.  Those who are into sin, do not love themselves properly, and feel they are doing the world a favor by not bringing children into this world.  Which is why atheists and liberals rarely have large families and their ideas die off with them.  No society in human history ever does well with a low fertility rate, and our low fertility rate, following Kinsey's sabotage of our nation in the 40's, and the legalization of porn and contraception in the '60's, has led our economy down.  Right now, Russia, Italy, and China, along with Japan, are all figuring out the nasty consequences of low fertility rates.  
Homosexuality:  I totally agree with you that homosexuality is chosen, and I regret that I gave the impression that I ever believed it to be innate and genetic, as it absolutely is not.  There is no gay gene.  Nearly all homosexuals were either molested as children, had no father figure or a poor one, or were into porn in their youth and it escalated their sexual desires beyond what God designed.  
Abortion: This is timely, because abortion is forced on young, naive, and gullible women when they are ill prepared to decide.  Most have no idea of the the history of abortion, and it's Roe, the dear, lately departed Norma McCorvey.  Norma went from being pro-choice, to strongly pro life and lamenting the 60 million lives her youthful decision has cost our nation.    But God is merciful, and there is forgiveness, to those who seek it.  Life is life at conception, there are no exceptions.  A woman who does not wish to have a child, should do what most women did prior to 1940, DON'T HAVE SEX!!!  Abstinence is a staple of successful societies before marriage, and fidelity to  a heterosexual spouse within it, is as well.  Of the 86 most successful societies surveyed by British agnostic anthropologist, J.D. Unwin in 1934, he found they all had two concepts they followed to become successful, and when the principles eroded, the societies did as well, with no exceptions. Those principles were 1) no sex before marriage and 2) confining sex to heterosexual marriage alone.  
Ryan Messano Added Feb 21, 2017 - 6:45pm
Thank you Janie, yes, there is.  Children who are molested rarely have normal sexual lives, and experience mental anguish and pain far more frequently than those who never were molested.  Ron has many times threatened to kill himself.  He is very impetuous, and is like a wounded bird I tried to help once.  Every time I tried to get the bird, into a box, to bring to the vet, the poor thing would bash itself into a fence, and it refused to be picked up, as it would viciously peck at anyone who tried to pick it up.  It eventually died.  It was very sad.  If he does not get what he wants, he will threaten to commit the most perverse acts, as he knows that will wound the minds of those seeking to help him, and make them vulnerable to giving him what he wants. Sadly, most of what he wants is not right for him at this time.  For instance, he wants a car right now.  Well, he has no license, no stable job, and no sense of responsibility, and no money.  When told to work and wait patiently, he threatens to sell himself if he doesn't get his car.  He reminds me of the ordeal Anne Sullivan went through with Helen Keller, though Keller was only deaf, dumb, and blind, and her soul was not wounded.  A wounded soul is worse than a wounded body.  
You're right, Janie, about the brain formative stages at such a young age.
"The greatest offense to a child is the rape of their trust and love, without that sense of worth, that sense of safety, they wither and die inside. ".  So very true!!  I love Charles Dickens books because he often wrote about abused children and those who loved them and gave them joy and peace when the rest of the world treated them so shamefully.  Oliver Twist, Great Expectations, and David Copperfield are three of my favorites.  
He is not out of the woods yet.  I was letting him stay in my office, but an associate of mine had stuff stolen from their office, and it wasn't anyone else in the office. Ron said it wasn't him, but he had to be responsible.  I hated to do it, but I told him he could no longer stay in the office.  I have seen signs of him being in the office still, and he is adept at picking locks.  Also, I had three huge bags of candy that are all gone, and there is no doubt in my mind that he took them.  But, I had to tell him he can't come here, he needs to stay in a stable environment.  He has a cell phone, and I've found used condoms in the office before, and there is no way I'm risking him using my office for his liaisons.  He refuses to give up his cell phone, and craves the connections, many of them bad, which have led him to so many problems in the past.  So, it is in God's hands.  He knows what he has to do to succeed, and has been given direction.  Sadly, he was cheated out of his childhood by a cold, sick, and cruel world.  Now, he is considered expendable.  I already knew the children raised with the idea that homosexuality was normal, when they wake up, if they ever do wake up, are going to fiercely hate the society that lied to them.  Which is why I loudly speak out against homosexuality, because I know a beacon in the night is needed, much like a lighthouse in the stormy night is needed for ships.
But he is bright, and he is very sociable.  He has social skills that many would envy.  He can strike up a conversation with strangers easily, and he is very likeable.  I can barely keep up with his seemingly dozens of girlfriends.  He can be a truly great person, it all depends on his choices.  For life is not about what happens to any of us, it is how we respond to it.   
James E. Unekis Added Feb 21, 2017 - 10:47pm
Keep telling the truth Ryan !!!!
I was attacked by 30 "youths" on the Baltimore subway Thursday night.   I only got hit twice but I was also the only adult on the train of 90 who pushed the red button to tell the conductor to please stop trying to leave the station as one of the children is going to lose a limb. 
Is Baltimore the new Somalia?  Who raises children with such hate?
EXPAT Added Feb 22, 2017 - 7:44am
I posted this for Patrick Writes, but you need it too.

Selling children into sex trafficking may seem like a remote issue, something that happens in far-off places where kids live in extreme poverty and their rights aren’t valued.

But it’s happening right here, all over the United States.

And a new campaign wants people to take note that more than target="_blank">target="_hplink">100,000 children are victims of sex trafficking in America every year.

target="_blank">target="_hplink">ECPTAT-USA, a nonprofit that works to stop the sexual exploitation of children, recently released an eye-opening PSA that demonstrates how little most Americans know about the rampant child sex trade.

While interviewing New Yorkers on the topic, target="_blank">target="_hplink">many pointed to Amsterdam, South America and Thailand, among other foreign regions, where they believed children to be at risk for exploitation.

The short spot goes on to reveal that thousands of children are victimized here, and that boys may be victimized just as much as girls are.

To shed further light on these horrific crimes, target="_blank">target="_hplink">Carol Smolenski, ECPAT-USA executive director, recently sat down with HuffPost Live to explain who is most at risk and what needs to be done to protect these children.

Smolenski noted that vulnerable children, particularly those who have already been subjected to abuse, are prime targets.

“These kids have been raped so many times that it’s my job to convince them that they may as well get paid for it,” a pimp told the organization in a recent report, Smolenski said.

Runaways, homeless kids and children in the foster care system also serve as a steady resource of victims.

Recent Articles by Writers Ryan Messano follows.