Fox News Can I Have My Parents Back Now Please?

It’s not fair. You have them all day everyday. I only get to talk to them briefly when you go to commercial break or when Dr. Phil or the Price is Right Comes on. They used to have other television friends. They liked corny old sci-fi channel and my dad used to hang out with ESPN every once in a while. They even would spend a half hour or so at local news broadcast’s house most nights. But now you get to be with them almost all the time.


I’m afraid you are beginning to be a bad influence. They used to be so trusting of everyone, even strangers. Now they barely want to leave the house. I asked them why not and they said something about how dangerous it was out there now. I tried to point out that we live in an all white old people development in the suburbs. There hasn’t been a crime committed anywhere near this place in, well, in maybe ever. Apparently you told them something about how that makes it the perfect place for the terrorists to strike. Now I see them jump out of their seats every time the doorbell rings. This only happens once or twice a week and each time it is UPS or the post office dropping off a package.


I also think your thinly veiled racism has begun to effect their thinking. If I am going out now they won’t let me leave without a warning about staying away from “the bad side of town.” I ask them what is so bad about it and they reply with “you know, those people live there.” I can tell they are ashamed of themselves when they say it. Almost like their old selves are still in there trying to break through but your hold on them is just too strong. “Those people are all on welfare, they have more kids then they can afford, they are all high on pot” Once I tried to point out that pot addiction is not a real thing. “But Dr. Phil says that kids these days are getting addicted to dope in record numbers, and another doctor on Fox News said pot addiction was turning teenagers today into criminals.” Me explaining that nobody has called weed dope since the 1960s was not going to help, so I simply went to my room and shut the door. Incidentally Fox News the reason I shut the door is to keep you out. You are so loud. I know my parents are losing their hearing but do you always have to yell.


They cancelled their last vacation because you told my mom, who was already a very nervous flyer, that terrorists are specifically targeting American’s going on vacation by plane. When I asked her how “the terrorists” know which planes are carrying the vacationers she says “well they are really smart with computers, Fox News told me they have hacked into all the airlines databases and cross referenced each passenger against that persons destination. If a plane has a lot of people flying to a tourist hot spot that gets targeted.” I try to point out that I think she may have confused the terrorists with the NSA she laughs. “Oh Danny, the NSA would never do that to us, we’re Americans. Besides even if they did a little snooping we have nothing to hide. I don’t mind. Fox News says only criminals and terrorists are worried about their privacy. In this day and age everyone shares everything what with the Facebookers and the tweets and snapchattering and all that.”


Finally Fox News I really don’t like you bringing around your best friend Donald Trump over all the time when my parents are around. They get enough innacuracies, half truths, and fake outrage from you. Now your bestie is telling them lies about how they can help make America great again. I try to point out that they both complain endlessly about how awful everything was when they were younger and how great we have it today. They won’t let a day go by without informing me how lucky I am to be alive now in this golden age of technology and plenty. I need to stop complaining all the time because back in their day etc. etc. When I point this out they fall silent for just a moment. Then just as I think I may have broken through, the commercial break ends, and you call to them “up next on Hannity, two hundred thousand dollars to study the mating habits of brown salamanders. Why is the government wasting your tax dollars to fund this kind of smut? Find out coming up.” I know I’ve lost them then. “Can you believe that Dan? What is this world coming to?” Damn you Fox News. Damn you.


Authors note: This is a work of fiction. My parents do watch Fox News a lot. Way too much for my liking. It has changed them in some ways I find sad. However, it has not changed at all how I feel about them; how much I love them, how grateful I am for everything they have given me, or how much respect I have for them. They have never spoken of or even hinted at any racist thoughts or beliefs. However, it genuinely saddens me that they continue to watch and listen to material that clearly has racist overtones. Moreover their support for Trump and his policies has left me saddened and even at a loss for words. We have never really seen eye to eye politically but it was never a big deal really until Trump came along. He seems to represent the polar opposite of everything they raised me to believe was important. I freely admit I did not always live up to the ideals they set for me but those ideals were clear and unambiguous. Do not lie, do not cheat, do not steal, be modest in all things, don’t be greedy, love thy neighbor, treat everyone with respect, turn the other cheek, be the bigger person, etc. I could go on and on. Trump fails miserably in obvious way in all of those areas and yet thy still support him and his agenda. I blame Fox News for this. Perhaps I am giving Fox too much credit or just trying to make excuses for my mom and dad. In any event I hope they come to see the man for the charlatan he is. If not, that’s ok too. I will love them no matter what.


“The preceding is a work of fiction. While the essence of the story is true and the majority of the particulars are sadly accurate, some of the facts have been exaggerated for effect. My parents are not racists, closet or otherwise. The statements I attributed to them with respect to race/racial relations are exaggerations/fabrications. Most importantly no matter their particular political opinions or beliefs my love for them is total and unconditional.”


Minister Peaceful Poet Added Mar 9, 2017 - 12:24am
I lost my mom to fox news, it just sucked her right up. When she gets all upset about something she heard on fox news, she will call me up all frantic.  Hopefully I can use logic to bring her back down, sometimes it would work, sometimes it wouldn't. 
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 1:02am
That is why it is referred to as "Faux News"
If you want to see something that will make you loose your faith in Americans, go read the comments at the bottom of Breitbart News political articles. 
Jeffry Gilbert Added Mar 9, 2017 - 2:00am
Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder (TARD) is strong in this one.
And what's with the goofy grin and do-rag? Hmm?
Ric Wells Added Mar 9, 2017 - 3:49am
Nice piece of writing no matter your views.
EXPAT Added Mar 9, 2017 - 4:24am
I didn't think it was good writing. I thought it was the same delusional rant heard daily on mainstream media. Pointless innuendo.
I also don't think getting High on a regular basis is a good idea! Even if it isn't physically addictive.
Do they still Drug Test for a job?
Yes Daniel, perception is everything. Denial is also a perception.
Why are you still with your parents? You look physically fit, and old enough to make your own way in this world. What ever you think this world is.
Fiction needs to expose life and highlight certain aspects of life that are sometimes overlooked in daily existence. I didn't find that here.
George N Romey Added Mar 9, 2017 - 9:54am
Daniel your parents are adults and have to decide on their own that they are being brainwashed by Fox (just as they would by MSNBC). My advise is try to find ways for them to get out of the house.  Sitting around watching tv all day is not good for their body or brain.
J. Riddle Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:10am
I've been going through this for the past several months; my father became addicted to Fox, particularly Lou Dobbs, and is suddenly absolutely committed to that crackpot line. More than that, he's furious about it. All of it. He sits and watches Fox and gets his programming on what he's to "think" (whatever lies the regime and hence Fox is peddling) and to be outraged over. He sits and seethes with an angry look on his face and speaks to the television, as if he can't even contain his fury at "Democrats" or minorities or anyone that would question Lord Trump. The fog that has settled over his mind has become absolutely impenetrable and unlike with the story, there's nothing subtle about it. Though I don't, as a rule, talk about such things in public, I'll confess this has been hard on me. He has always been politically backwards--no biggie there--but he's not some moron. He's just up and become one of the Fox robots and very suddenly, I barely know him anymore.
William Stockton Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:17am
Fox is now the only mainstream outlet for red-pill'ers.
It is the grown-up and adult news source but still has that mainstream corporate quality which muddles authenticity.  The other cable news sources (msm, cnn, etc) are great for those who are part-time patriots but full-time regressive moonlight chasers.
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:25am
My next door neighbors were seduced by the same Fox polarizing hypnosis.
Me and my wife used to enjoy going out to dinner and movies with them, and now both of them have turned into total right wing conspiracy whackos. The only time they socialize with us or any of the other neighbors is to try and spark up a conversation on how great Trump is doing and how the "left" is going to destroy the country.
J. Riddle Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:34am
"and now both of them have turned into total right wing conspiracy whackos."
I've seen this happen to people many times. This latest was just closer to home than any of those others. It really is like being inside INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, watching people lose their intelligence and personality and just become this drone.
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 12:04pm
As the Trump/Russia connection becomes even more obvious and bewildering, I am still unable to understand how the party that was once outspoken on condemning Russia has now become their most dedicated defenders.
It doesn't seem like it was that long ago that they were proclaiming that "All of you socialist Democrats need to move to Russia".
It is certainly amazing how much power an authoritarian dictator has on certain mindsets.
Minister Peaceful Poet Added Mar 9, 2017 - 12:13pm
J. Riddle - My mother was the most caring, loving person in the whole world and now she hates all Mexicans for taking our jobs, wasting our health care and using up our social security and everything is Obama's fault.  While yea, Obama could take some blame, it just ain't so simple.  The people you really want to hate, you'll never know their names and you'll never get to vote for them.  The liberals addicted to CNN and MSNBC are no better.  Trump is Hitler and were blaming him for everything that he hasn't even done yet.  That is what TV does to people.  You can tell the ones who get their news from TV because their all irrational half cocked and don't even know that they're just being led along.  
Ric Wells Added Mar 9, 2017 - 12:36pm
I am so glad I don't have TV stations. Haven't watched in roughly 3 years except for about 2 Mos in late 2015. 
J. Riddle Added Mar 9, 2017 - 12:39pm
"The liberals addicted to CNN and MSNBC are no better."
No, that's an entirely false comparison. Neither those nor any other news channel does to people anything like what Fox or the Blaze does to them.
EXPAT Added Mar 9, 2017 - 1:34pm
I have to agree with Tom. What is called news in America today is disgusting. The main stream media take any event, twist it into what Liberals want to hear, and then feed it to them like baby food (PAP).
A spoof that illustrates this best: Trump evicts Black family from their home!
With a picture of the Obama's moving out of the White House.
wsucram15 Added Mar 9, 2017 - 1:37pm
This was a great article, very well written and from a good perspective.  To argue this is silly, while you have an opinion you clearly made the story into fiction. 
None of the television or cable news is unbiased, but the swing of fox news is to another place Im not sure of.  I watched a news story about an event I partook in that was completely misrepresented by them with video about a riot that took place on inauguration day.  I happened to see it while scanning for news on the woman's march.  I contacted them about the error, as did many others, but have never heard back.
But I have seen similar news bias and swings elsewhere, just not to the same degree.  If you are out and around, you know that.  
Minister Peaceful Poet Added Mar 9, 2017 - 2:13pm
It's like there is a war going on.  Like this evil is going to war with that evil.  I believe the lessor of two evils is winning.  Syria is looking impressive.  Don't know if you heard the latest.  Russia and the U.S. are actually working together to protect the Kurds from the Turks and I'm like wow, we're actually doing something right.  But that Trump care thing, that's not sounding to good.  I must admit, at lunch time, most of the time, I watch Fox News, but they don't tell you nothing that is going on in Syria.  Lately I've been watching CNN to hear about Trump care.  They both lie.  It's not really a lie, they just skip the important stuff, and what they don't tell you, that's what you need to know.  I watch mostly RT news at my computer.  Listen to Scott Horton on my Ipod, and read the Free Thought Project newsletter in my email, and I get bits and pieces from here and there.  FUKUSHIMA, there's a scary one.  Also another threat you'll never hear on is the nuclear weapons India and Pakistan have aimed at each other.  One of those two loose it and it will be a nuclear holocaust we never even expected.  There is a lot stuff going on the TV doesn't even mention.  
J. Riddle - Fox news is the only conservative news channel while all the rest are liberal.  They both tell the truth about some things, just enough to get you hooked so that they can distract you from the things you really need to know about, like the stuff in our food, etc. Things the corporation are profiting off of and they don't want you to know. And they do make news stories out of nothing. 
Never checked out Tucker Carlson, I'm sure I can find a youtube video. 
Henry Ortiz Added Mar 9, 2017 - 2:14pm
This is another brainless article, I would like to ask what do you think about MSNBC, CNN, etc.
should I say? They have brainwashed my parents because they used to think that to be successful in this life you need to study and work hard but now they think that the government should give you everything for free. My parents don't want me to study or work but to go to the streets and burn cars, vandalize public and private properties.
Donna Added Mar 9, 2017 - 2:40pm
Good article..I like the fiction, with your parents added for effect..Stick around..WB could use writers like you..Best of luck..
Mike Haluska Added Mar 9, 2017 - 3:39pm
We didn't elect Trump to be a Bot Scout Leader.  The country is in a financial mess that needed someone NOT politically motivated or dependent on getting re-elected ad-infinitum.  There are better businessmen, they are better speakers - he's the one of the bunch who actually decided to do something about it.  Give the guy a chance.
J. Riddle Added Mar 9, 2017 - 3:46pm
"Fox news is the only conservative news channel while all the rest are liberal."
That isn't accurate--pretty much all corporate media are far more conservative  than the public--and it isn't relevant to what I said, which is that the other cable news outlets don't have that Fox effect on people. Fox News--and, it should be added, most other major rightist outlets today--deals in xenophobia, manufactured outrage and hate. Based on lies. Every survey that ever examined the question has found that those who list it as their primary news source are among the most misinformed news consumers in the U.S. but the important part is the way in which the Fox viewers are misinformed. They're taught that they're oppressed and that they're to be constantly angry. All the time. About everything.
Dino Manalis Added Mar 9, 2017 - 5:10pm
Parents should spend more time with their children, it's very important and part of the education process.  I understand their concerns, as well as yours, do you talk about the issues together?  You should go out with them and gradually gain their trust and cooperation, of course, always reassuring them about your safety.
Shane Dean Added Mar 9, 2017 - 5:46pm
Good piece of fiction...and it was just that.  There really are very few unbiased news outlets anymore, on either side of the aisle.  Sadly, CNN and MSN are just as bad at pseudo-news as Fox.  
What I find the most annoying is just about any news outlet is now ALL-TRUMP-ALL-THE-TIME!  which is ridiculous as there is so much more going on than how people feel about his latest tweet.  And all you people whining about him only feed the beast.
Instead of everyone just screaming and yelling and saying "BOO, HISS, TRUMP", how about people try and engage him to affect some change.  Like him or not, he is the one at the helm now.  So many liberals who were lecturing on working together have thrown that out the window now that they aren't looking down their noses from the high seat of the majority.  I have always felt liberals in general engage in a lot of hypocrisy and it is has really been showing the past few months.
Janie Smith Added Mar 9, 2017 - 5:51pm
hahaha!  I totally stop watching the news a decade ago! Life has been better ever since. :-) 
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 6:59pm
Getting Trump to do what the people want would be like getting a cat to sit and roll over. It ain't gonna happen!
Trump is only going to do what he wants to build his empire and the empires of his cronies and cabinet members.
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 10:05pm
I know Trump's personality to a tee. I had a great example of his psyche in a boss that I had for over 12 years. This guy was a 100% Trump with the full-on NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), and the ego to boot.
I ended up being able to predict this guy quite accurately, and knew when he was going to explode in rage, which he did if things didn't go his way.
He had the ego, and was always constantly bragging how much better the departments working under him were performing (which was the opposite of the truth). He could not take or even listen to constructive criticism, and if someone attempted it, they would be on his shit-list and constantly downgraded by this guy, who thought he knew everything about every operation in the company. He was so wound up in the money end of the business that he actually was totally void of how every department in the company worked for a common goal. He had no concept on how to treat people, and tried managing by fear, even before it (supposedly) became "cool". Then he would secretly wonder why the turnover in his "empire" was so high.
I found the best way to cope was simply to do a good job for my self satisfaction which ended up giving him all of the credit that he constantly craved. Needless to say, we ended up getting along as best we could.
Yes, I know the personality well, and if I seem to come down on Trump a bit too hard, it is because I know how the movie is going to end.
Ryan Messano Added Mar 9, 2017 - 10:10pm
Agree with Janie.  Also, I didn't bother wasting time reading the article because Fox is the most conservative of the channels on the idiot box, and you younger whippersnappers are badly brainwashed by the media and your schools.  Your opinions are nearly irrelevant, and downright dangerous when it comes to politics.
Grow up and learn to read about history.
Unfortunately, we have a lot of people, like Bill H. who have reasoning issues and will agree with your perspective.  I would check how many mind altering drugs Bill H. is on before I accepted his opinion on anything.
Bill H. Added Mar 9, 2017 - 10:50pm
It's not even a matter of simple reasoning, Messano. Get your eyeballs out of Breitbart "facts" and do some real research on NPD. See for yourself if what you read doesn't describe Trump to a "tee".
I'm no expert, but after observing and working under a person who was afflicted with the disorder for many years and all of a sudden seeing an exact replica appear during Trump's first campaign speech, I know EXACTLY what we will deal with.
You don't have to accept anything I say at all.
And frankly, I could give a shit either way.
Ohh! you forgot to tag me as a "Liberal Socialist Democrat" this time!
J. Riddle Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:25pm
I'm not much into psychoanalyzing pols from afar. What we can say about Trump without getting into anything controversial or speculative is that he's an habitual liar with no regard at all for the truth. Of Fox News, we can document the fact that it's primary product is bullshit and that it will not be relied upon by any reasonably intelligent person who is familiar with it.
Micahel Dolan Added Mar 9, 2017 - 11:25pm
More blah blah blah- People who live in America see the horror that is happening in America. President Trumpism shows the lack of commonsense from all the haters of President Trump. All the lovers of Hussein Obama lack the courage to admit Hussein Obama was the worst president ever. Hussein Obama aided Iranian Savage terrorist than he did for America. Your parents see the downfall of America-Hussein said as your president I will transform America. Obama accomplished his treason-that is why Trump won the election. The Democrat Party controls 5 states repubs have all three branches of government.All the democrats have is daily tantrums.
Shane Dean Added Mar 10, 2017 - 12:02am
Bill, I get that Trump is full of himself, but you kind of have to be to run for President.  And, as I have said in many other places, just about every disparaging comment about Trump could be leveled at Hillary Clinton.
I will also say that, unless people quit refusing his invites to discuss issues, he will KEEP doing whatever he wants because no one is telling him otherwise.
Democrats have been sneering down their nose for 8 years, saying Republicans need to cooperate and coexist and all those other fuzzy get along words.  But now that the shoe is on the other foot, the fires are starting and violence is ramping up, NONE OF WHICH happened during Obama's tenure. 
So really, Bill, who is more dispicable?  The narcissist or people who would rather burn Rome than work with the person in charge to try to get their concerns addressed?
Ryan Messano Added Mar 10, 2017 - 12:17am
Bill H, psychiatry is a crock and was founded by the fraud Freud.   70 million Americans are on mind altering drugs, and I'd lose your fascination with NPD if I were you.  Narcissus has been around since Greek mythology, and each of us has pride.  
J. Riddle, the Democrat party is full of corrupt liars, especially Barry the Fairy, who is a pathological liar.  Trump advertised what he would do, and has actually set out to do it.  So while you have been being hoodwinked by the lying media, there is much good being done in America.  I think all television is garbage, though I think Fox is the best smelling garbage there is.  
Completely agree with Micahel and Shane.
Bill H. Added Mar 10, 2017 - 12:49am
Shane, I believe that those who would like to discuss the issues with Trump know well that he will not listen, nor will he attempt to analyze or consider any ideas given to him, other than possibly by those who he knows he can control.
This man will not accept constructive criticism or concede at any time that he is open to learning more about specific subjects (how can you learn when you consider yourself "an expert on everything").
All he is interested in is being a spectacle and convincing everyone that he is the great one.
Again, I saw the movie for over 12 years in my past career.
NPD is much more than a giant ego (or "pride" as Messano calls it), is a specific collection of many multiple traits that feed off of each other.
Yes there are lots of people out there with one or a few of the traits that are contained within the NPD jar, but when you have virtually ALL of them, then you are NPD.
Having worked with one was one step from a nightmare.
Ryan Messano Added Mar 10, 2017 - 2:11am
I think you have a case of NPD for believing the Democrat hype about Trump.
Ryan Messano Added Mar 10, 2017 - 2:11am
You certainly have a bad case of TARD (Trump acceptance reluctance disorder)
Eileen de Bruin Added Mar 10, 2017 - 8:17am
Daniel, yes a really well-done article.
Media. Yes it is now being used comprehensively and unforgivingly to manipulate our fears about " the enemy". 
The enemy is usually someone or thing who deviates from a verry narrow " norm" so engulfs just about everyone other than Trump lovers and WASP extremist idiots.
That now Russia is a friend is right out of the sci fi books, brave new world and 1984. We were warned.
Media pumping is the key to total manipulation of the masses and the psycholigical tools and tricks used ensure absorption of what is being told as a truth in the mind of the relative innocent person.
It really is the same in the UK. Bad government which has created huge social divides and outright deprivation of its citizens, is resorting to total media control to feed the lie of whomis to blame and who the enemy is.
I am witnessing the same effects on people in Britain. I see it in my own family and diminishing circle of friends who see me as an outsider because I live on the continent of Europe. Therefore, my views are suspect at best!
Someone I know in the UK was becoming so angry every day, having read the Daily Mail for years, that his wife forbad him to buy it anymore. It was a good idea as some of his normal, human balance returned. 
Lately, wikipedia has downgraded this newspaper, I use that word loosely, to a totally unreliable source of fact. It just makes stories up to feed hate against anything remotely foreign and includes those poor souls who are roaming the earth as refugees and shoved in camps. They are guilty of having been subject to horrific war tirades, that is all. Who makes these wars and who makes loads of money out of this? Never mind, the "enemies" will continue to be debased and disrespected.
Keeping a clear head and mind Daniel, well done.
To Ryan, I would say that your totally unjustified insults dished out with neither respect nor conscience, is one of the aspects that we have been considering on the Writer Beat's potential closing thread.  It does your credibility no good. 
Thank you Daniel. Good luck with getting your parents back from Faux News!
Bill H. Added Mar 10, 2017 - 11:40am
Sorry, Messano.
I am not a Democrat as I have told you before. I have voted for selected Republicans in the past.
Simply because I happen to despise your candidate based on my own observations, you have to resort to your usual childish name calling, insults, labeling, and slander.
Let's just see if Trump can survive his latest bumble.
Mike Haluska Added Mar 14, 2017 - 10:44am
Bill H says he "knows" Trump because he had a boss just like him?  According to "Bill H Logic", I must know Wilbur & Orville Wright because I fly in airplanes once in a while.  Trump has brought more high-paying manufacturing jobs back in 50 days in office - hell, in the 2 months before taking his inauguration - then Obama did in 8 Frakkin' years!!!  We LOST hundreds of thousands of manufacturing jobs under Obama while he bragged about another couple hundred Starbucks barrista jobs he "created"!!!
Here's a fact Bill H - industrialists and capital investors do more good for more ordinary people UNINTENTIONALLY than every single "do-gooder" and government bureaucrat COMBINED!!!  It is a MYTH that rich "exploit" the poor - basic Common Sense (look it up) dictates that you can't steal something from someone who doesn't have anything (the poor)!!! 
Mike Haluska Added Mar 14, 2017 - 2:18pm
Bill H - your statement/question:
"Let's just see if Trump can survive his latest bumble."
merits a response.  Exactly what do you mean by "survive"?  If you have learned anything about Trump, you know he is NOT going to be intimidated by the media or anyone else.  He is also NOT a quitter - so don't expect anything like that. 
The people on the brink of not "surviving" are the "progressives" in the Democratic Party, the Mainstream Media, the Republican establishment and Obama holdovers.  Trump will outlast them all and outfight them all and win. 
Mike Haluska Added Mar 14, 2017 - 2:23pm
If you had read "Atlas Shrugged" you would understand what is going on right now in America and around the world.  The PRODUCERS of the world - the ones who carry the weight of the world (Atlas) are finally going "On Strike".  We will no longer work for the benefit of others who curse us for not being "generous enough".  Everyone who is physically capable of working and pulling their own weight will do so.  If that sounds "horrifying" or "cruel" to you - too bad.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Mar 15, 2017 - 11:27am
We will no longer work for the benefit of others who curse us for not being "generous enough".
Your hero died collecting social security and medicare. Such hypocrisy. 
Your tiny insignificant little business where you scam people out of their corvettes in your nasty little corner of the world amount to nothing.
You're not an Atlas you pathetic knob, you're a parasite.