The Pebble Of Marble And the Gum

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Dedicated to Adrian and Johan, two of my very few friends, who tried patiently to make me see, with thanks for their efforts. To my family, for all that my wild ways put them through.



They say life is a wheel, going round and round, up and down.

*Image copied from

 Original author not known to writer.


They say the Fates sit on their stools, spinning out the predetermined threads of everyone’s existence.

*Image copied from

 Original author not known to writer.


We say we’re alive and for the most part try to live. But if life is a wheel, then perhaps we should hold fast to it, like a piece of chewing gum instead of marble. To be stubborn and strong, even if it’s with the strength of desperation. To rise with the wheel of life, feel the sun and bask in the glory, then when it heads downward, to find comfort in its shade and from somewhere summon the strength to endure the crush when it touches the ground beneath.


So that while we’re being crunched, smashed, flattened, dirtied by the filth on that road and stretched out by the pressures of things bigger than us, hold on with the certain knowledge that it shall pass and we will most definitely rise again- because rigid marble makes for beautiful statues but gets crunched to dust, while gum, distasteful and annoying to step on though it is, is nevertheless persistent and flexible enough to endure. Then again, if you don't want to get crunched, you can always try to hold onto the spokes, because where there's a will (and wheel), there's bound to be more than one way...


EXPAT Added Apr 20, 2017 - 7:16pm
I never thought you would surrender to life. Your strength in the face of world adversity was admirable.
We only fail when we accept failure!
What are your alternatives? Seriously. What are your alternatives?
I never thought of you as a fatalist. In Thailand, KARMA is different than the western concept. Here we believe a person can change their fate by changing their behavior and that Karma/Fate is the result of a chosen lifestyle, not some preordained path written by some unknown force.
You made your Karma my friend, and only you can change it!
NEVER SURRENDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mircea Negres Added Apr 21, 2017 - 3:59am
EXPAT, anger, hate, pain caused by things that happened long ago were poisoning me and my relations with those around me. The post was not about accepting what happened, only that it happened. I also came to the realization that the only person being hurt by all that hate was me, not those who deserve to pay for what they did but can no longer be touched. Well, I can touch them and while it would be moral, it wouldn't be legal. It was about no longer surrendering to and losing myself in the pain of the past, instead to rise up to the light of life and embrace whatever the future has to offer, because I spent too much time between the wheel and the road. It was about being flexible instead of rigidly tough- yeah, trying to change my Karma by changing myself first- though I'm not surrendering. The fight goes on...  
EXPAT Added Apr 21, 2017 - 5:53am
It sounds as if you were born again. Dare I suggest that you take the next step and put all those hate filled encounters in a book. I say this because placing all the things you have kept inside all these years in front of you, and exposing them for all to see, will dissipate their power over you, with the light of exposure. It matters not if anyone else reads your story. Dedicate the book to Adrian and Johan! What better honor could a man bestow on another.
I still dream of all the wrong decisions I made in life, and all the people who wronged me. I never dream of all the good times I had, or the people I helped. It seems to be my nature and perhaps human nature to dwell on failure and try to find solutions to things that have passed.
If you think it will help, publish your worst experience on WB. After all, no one hear knows you really. What have you got to lose? (As Trump told the blacks.)
I am guessing much on your angst comes from past government action. SA is in the midst of throwing aside the old Apartheid and ANC delusions. Try to find a Party that you believe can govern SA for all the people, and volunteer to help in any way you can.
Helping to build a new world, will help dissipate the old memories!
I found my new place! I hope you find yours.
Charlie the EXPAT.
Mircea Negres Added Apr 21, 2017 - 11:20am
I hear you, EXPAT. The thought of writing a book occurred to me more than once and I began writing twice. Two of the hardest things I've ever gone through were "The darkness under the brightly shining sun" and "The long short story" I posted on WB. Written in the third person they were, but I was actually involved in those events. Talking about them and other events doesn't help. Doing something is the only solution. Unfortunately that's not possible in spite of many efforts over the years, due to politicians' indifference and statutes of limitations.
Yeah, most of my anger and pain come from things governments did, but when a government doesn't want to hold itself to account, there's only one alternative left and I'm not willing to go down that road just yet. Far better to rise out of the darkness and embrace the light, I think.  Oh, my place is somewhere in the mountains of the U.S., Canada, Scotland or New Zealand (in order of preference), and all I need is enough money to make it happen. Then, to quote King from the movie Platoon, "I'm a gone motherfucker!" :-)))
Dino Manalis Added Apr 21, 2017 - 4:49pm
All the Best!  Be strong and healthy!  Happy Spring!

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