For some reason I'm often called a Zionist Troll or Hasbara.
It's always a great surprise to me, for one thing I had no idea what a "Hasbara" was until a couple of years ago. I inquired what that was and was told to cut it out and that I wasn't fooling anyone. This same person berated me for misspelling the term.
Somewhat bewildered I looked the term up and found out that a Hasbara is an on-line operative that dispenses Israeli propaganda. I assume this pays well but have no idea. So far no Israeli has approached me to become one.
People also call me a Zionist Troll. According to Google a Zionist is someone who supports the development and protection of a Jewish nation (also it's a member of a South African church that combines Christianity with traditional African beliefs. I did not know this, learn something new everyday). I always imbued the term with much more commitment than the definition really implies. So, I guess I fit the technical definition of that term, I don't really FEEL like a Zionist.
So, while I support Israel's right to exist as a state, that is not blind devotion. I personally think Benjamin Netanyahu is an ass hat (his comments on the Grand Mufti and his influence on Hitler regarding the Holocaust made my teeth clinch and reminded me of my personal belief that politicians should just keep quiet about the things they don't understand), I agree with the U.N. that the West Bank Settlements are illegal and that the real solution is the two-time solution. If that makes me a Zionist so be it. What's ironic is that some of the Jewish people I know berate me on-line when I make those views onown. I guess the only solution is to tell them that, technically, I'm a Zionist. It also doesn't help that I'm not a Jew (though I've been called that as well).
But, to be honest with you, when someone calls me the above they mean it in a derogatory way. Yes, I realize that is shocking and disheartening, dear readers. Surely someone wouldn't just call me something without knowing more about me??????? Well, they do.
So, I decided to come up with a few easy steps on how to avoid becoming a Zionist Troll/Hasbara so that you, the readers of my article, can avoid the heartache of being called a Zionist Troll/Hasbara.
1) Avoid confronting or contradicting someone's crazy-ass conspiracy theory, especially if it includes the words "the Jews/Mossad did it." You are asking to be called a Zionist Troll/Hasbara if you do this. I know. Trust me. Nod and smile, agree that the Jews own the world and the Mossad has God-like powers and then go have a cold beer. You will be better off in the long run.
2) Avoid saying anything that can be remotely misconstrued as positive about Israel, even if it is something innocuous like, "I think Gal Godot is hot." Uh, oh, that's not good. See, she is an Israeli and actually served in the IDF. This meant that she spent her tour of duty eating Palestinian children and burning down their villages. She can never be considered hot.
3) If you are someone like me who enjoys history, particularly WW II history, avoid engaging Holocaust deniers on-line. Yes, I know, anyone who reads any of my articles will think, "why, you contradictory bastard, you do that all of the time!!!!!!!" I know. It's too late for me, save yourselves. I can guarantee this is the surest way to be called a Zionist Troll/Hasbara. It's an extension of number one. Not all whackadoodle conspiracy theorists deny the Holocaust but I find that deniers believe all sorts of crazy crap. I found out about 9-11 Truthers while visiting a denier blog.
4) If you do slip up and get called a Zionist Troll/Hasbara, you will never shake the label. Sometimes I just go with it and tell them that since they broke my cover they better have lube ready when the Mossad shows up at their door.