Lately we’ve seen a huge increase in the number of women who think married men should be held to the same standards as single men, when it comes to getting permission to have sex, right up to calling it rape if they don’t. I have a different view, I think married partners have an obligation to provide each other with lots of things, including regular sex, unless something is very wrong. I don’t think a spouse needs to ask, and I don’t think it’s right for a partner to say no just because they don’t feel like having sex at that time, or even because they no longer enjoy or want it.
Marriage includes many mutual obligations, “to death do us part”, usually including the presumption that a spouse will become the sole provider of sex for their partner. It’s as important as taking care of them when they are sick, and if one spouse decides they no longer wish to continue fulfilling their partner’s need, they should strongly consider dissolving the marriage because it’s not the agreement they entered into.
Of course I realize there are exceptions, but in the vast majority I believe charging the abusive spouse with domestic abuse is much more appropriate than charging them with rape. The fact that one spouse has physically abused another is a completely different crime than rape, and the two should never be confused. Rape implies an unimaginable violation of a person’s intimate privacy, and that can’t occur in a consummated marital relationship.