On FB I have become friended with a very interesting person named Jo Sutch who studies narcissism. This interests me because I come from a narcissistic family and have been studying the idea since I first heard the term in a psych class called personality and adjustment, by a remarkable teacher named Eastwood Atwater who wrote the book.
Today she was talking about strategies for achieving our goals. Most were simple, don't make rash decisions. When you find yourself getting worked up, take some deep breaths, don't think while doing this, just breathe until you begin to calm then think.
One of the things narcissists use to keep us at their mercy is agitate us into confusion. Mixed messages, lies coated in complements, that's okay, but if you had only started ten years sooner it would be professional quality, physical invasion presented as caring gesture, like my sister poking me hard with her fingernail and telling me how much she loves me, or more accurately, woves me.
Having studied the behavior for so long, I have an excellent grasp of all of the dynamics and how to not get too caught up. I do have a temper when provoked, but I have slowly learned that the best way to use my temper isn't in fighting battles I can't win, but in using those bursts to turn the battle in a direction where I can ambush my attackers. I wrote the entire narcissistic episode of my Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's on my FB page, Mark Smith, local St. Davids down a ways from the top, but the first longish piece on the page, if you are interested in reading about my life. It got a significant amount of juice. My life got threatened, but I used Ni To Ichi martial arts techniques to escape.
My point about narcissism is that we are dealing with a narcissistic president and the approach the opposition is using to battle his obvious crazy notions of what appropriate means. No one should ever shake this man's hand. We all ought to be doing what I believe was the Austrian president's wife did, when he puts out his hand just walk on by and shake the hand of someone who is at least half-decent, like his wife. I don't know if we have ever had such an inconsequential first lady, but she is a narcissist's wife and might as well be one of those new animated sex dummies. I think she might be more behind the nothing she's given to do, but Trump, like all narcissists insists that the people close to him act like dummies, or bulldogs, or something trained to blindly obey his commands.
Yes, there will be consequences. People who refuse to shake his hand will be taken off the list of "likeable" people. People who don't show Trump the respect he believes he deserves will be banished, or is it Bannioned, from the inner rectum, sorry, sanctum, deprived of Trump incites, like nicknames, Pocahontis, which isn't just Elizabeth Warren's nickname, but is actually something he tried to do to a hot hostess in Jersey when he was campaigning with Chris Christie. He kept calling her, Hon, even after the manager asked him to stop. He then nicknamed the manger, Softie Dick, when he saw his name tag said, Dick, and walked out without paying.
Christie paid and apologized for his friend and that cost him a job in the cabinet. The point of this story is that a narcissist's insults are his compliments on your character. Jo's advice was small steps towards achievable goals.
Trump will never be a polite person, we can see that. He sees no benefit. But just because we do doesn't mean we can't make an exception when not in polite company.