PENIS WAVING: AMERICA’S PASTIME!

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PENIS WAVING: AMERICA’S PASTIME!

Tubularsock has been scraping around in the gutter of American sexual predators not because many men in power and many men with no power can be found there but more importantly …….

WHAT IS NEW?

 

This entire avalanche of the sexual predator exposé is pretty sick and sad. But it has answered three questions for Tubularsock about America.

 

First and foremost is a question that Tubularsock has asked himself many times.

 

Why is it that with 365 days a year and 24 hours in each of those days and a staff of three aides or more can’t a Senator or Representative READ THE BILLS he/she signs into law?

 

Case in point: The new TAX OVERHAUL bill is over 500 “government pages” long. “Government Pages” is a code phrase Tubularsock uses and it means 2/3rds of those pages are fluff-bull-shit and 1/3rd of those pages are refined bull shit.

 

To read those pages BEFORE you sign the bill, you’d think, would be the job of a Senator or Representative, RIGHT?

 

Well no. It appears that one’s reading time is reduced by 85% if the Senator’s or Representative’s entire concentration is focused on master-bating on their secretary’s desk in front of her or grabbing her tit!

 

See how quickly priorities change under these Congressional circumstances?

 

SO NOW TUBULARSOCK UNDERSTANDS WHY OUR LAWMAKERS ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB WE ELECTED THEM TO DO!

 

And the ones that aren’t doing the “doing” are gossiping about it and with everyone knowing, where is this outrage and surprise coming from anyway?

 

And then add to it THE PUBLIC already knows as well. So why this outrage? We have ALWAYS known.

 

 

The second question answered for Tubularsock is why in general do European films have so much more depth than American films. And the reason is that European films depict actual human relations while American films tend to express the fantasy of the constant hard-on and then the constant “explosions” as the sign of “manhood” and hero worship.

 

The Hollywood directors, actors, and producers start to believe their own hype from these shallow movies and believe THEY ARE THE MANHOOD HERO. Fantasy gone mad.

 

And then the third question answered.

 

This is no surprise at all really but just substantiates Tubularsock’s suspicion.
The TV anchor. What an empty job to sit through day after day after day, spewing master bated endless bull shit written by others that you repeat with “honesty” and “warmth” calling yourself a journalist!

 

Talking about a reason to look for something to do “for real”!

 

Even if you start out with some integrity it isn’t long before when the little red light goes off you’ll repeat whatever they put on the teleprompter. Even if you know it is lies.

 

When you sell your soul why not “grab some pussy on the side”!

 

After all, the President of the United States swears by it even if the First Pussy won’t hold his hand!

FOR FURTHER READING MAY TUBULARSOCK SUGGEST:

1.Tubularsock’s Guide To Sexual Harassment “a hands on guide to hands off, the do’s and don’t s”.

 

2. Tubularsock’s New York Bestseller, Getting Close To The Children, “the priest’s guide to fondling the flock.”

 

3. And don’t miss, Fucking Around The Mall co-written by Tubularsock and Want Moore.

 

And then it is advised that you take The Tubularsock Workshop on Old Enough To Bleed, Old Enough To Slaughter an Alabama Evangelical Christian teaching of NOT sparing “the rod” with 14 year old girls, amen.

 

 

 

Comments

Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 2:54am
When you really start thinking about all of this shit you realize there is no good side. And if you beat on it it usually cums out in the end. A sea-man without the luxury of a vessel. If you get Tubularsock's drift.
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 8, 2017 - 5:53am
Yes the man with the first dick has always used it to inform America's foreign policy. The Vietnam war was about the Vietnam leader's prick compared to the American leader's dick. And we are not talking about the tricky dick. Still, this, the ruler of the world, symbolizes our past time. 
Stone-Eater Added Dec 8, 2017 - 6:42am
Tube
 
Great one again. In Europe sex has not the same importance because we got no cheerleaders. Our women are either feminist, or ugly, or both (most probably that is connected).
 
So prick won't grow thick but with a trick:
 
A cheap holiday in other people's misery - The Sex Pistols 
 
;-)
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 8, 2017 - 7:31am
Poetically speaking aside, men have been known to go to the extreme to prove their manhood. Bamboo insertion to have a hard one was a practice to shift a dead stick into gear and get it moving. As women associate the size of a man's foot (12 inches) with his Johnson, they may associate the size of his hand. Don't remember the size of the King's hand that determined that number. However, president Trump may be bent on proving his little hand has no association with his foreign policy stick. Then again, the direction of his bent is troubling. Is he bent left or right?
Dave Volek Added Dec 8, 2017 - 12:36pm
Tube
 
I would like to base my vote on how the overly ambitious characters who put their name on the ballot handle legislation. Not only do we will never see how these individuals to this part of their job, they--for the most part--do not do it. Hitting the bar-b-q chicken circuit brings in more votes than reading and analyzing bills. The legislator lets some other boys in the smoke-filled back rooms tell him or her how to vote. And of course there is a lot of fine print in those bills that the civil service has to deal with it.
 
As far as the rash of sexual allegations coming out, I have another angle the talking heads won't delve into. 10% of the population is promiscuous!  When a P-man and P-woman play their little P-dance, they send out little signals to show they are ready and available for a little P. Sometimes one of them gets the signals wrong, which then leads to an allegation of sexual harassment from someone who is not P. But we can't talk about that, right? 
 
 
 
 
 
 
mark henry smith Added Dec 8, 2017 - 3:53pm
Tube, you sock-it-to-me, remember Rowan and Martin's Laugh In? I loved that show, based on Sid Caesar's The Show of Shows, but less clever, more slap schtick.
 
Any way, all of you should watch the TED video called, Your Words Matter. An "expert" starts off by telling us facts. Diabetes kills more people in the US than smoking. And I'm like. wow, I didn't know that, and I'm thinking, that seems strange, but it makes sense since so many people have diabetes, and it leads to all kinds of physical problems.
 
But then he says, "That's false. I just made it up."
 
And he presents a wonderful argument about the power of words and our preconceived notions about "experts" to guide us to any conclusion they want to plant in our heads. I call this shelf space of the human mind, and I have a piece on here about it. Get in first, stock the shelves, and you'll keep the competition out of the store.
 
Tube, I have also written on The Hollywood myth of sexuality that has been perpetrated on the American public, the fantasy of idea of perfect love, and perfect relationships that keeps American's in an infantile state of shame, secrecy, and perversion, for not being "normally" perfect in their relationships and sex practices.
 
Then the Hollywood people have perverted the public again by presenting the pedophile as that weird guy like Boo Radley who never comes out of his house, but when he does his first thought is to find a neighbor's child or dog to violate. When experts know the ped pred tend to be people who seek power and associations with the targets of their sexual fantasies. That's why they're priests, and coaches, and choir masters, and politicians, and cops, and some of the most respected people in the community. People who have trained themselves to be really good at what they do and predation is just another thing to them.
 
From knowing these people and studying them, they're never the shy, wallflower. They're charming, generous with their friends, and victims, if they have to be. They aren't just into the pain and suffering they cause. Many of them believe they're teaching lessons to kids or starlets about the way the world works. That's why Harvey Wallbanger, and Louis C K, and lots of them can honestly convince themselves that the behavior was consensual. The other party consented to being taught a lesson.
 
They really believe they're good people. And the other thing they get off on is their cleverness, how they're fooling the world.
 
Look at Trump. Look at Roy Moore. Scum of the earth who are held up as saviors. But when "experts" tell some people what to believe, experts from your side, it doesn't matter what real experts say. The shelves are already full.
 
And today this guy I recently met on FB, an obvious troll who I befriended, got angry at me when I told him who he really was and then made threatening statements about what the guys in the desert, perhaps a reference to my brother who is now in Arizona, are planning to do to me. Let 'em try. Oh and as I always say, remember, we are not alone here. Be careful. The screen has eyes.    
Dave Volek Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:11pm
Nice analysis Mark.
 
Back in my political days, there was a long serving party member who was the treasurer of a party constituency association. He was an accountant by trade, so he was well suited for the volunteer job. He seemed happy being the treasurer and the party left him in that position for a decade. But eventually it found out he had embezzled quite a bit of money. He was sent to jail for a short time. But there was no indication that he was that kind of person.
 
We need to be a little suspicious of everyone around us. There are more than a few wolves in sheep's clothing.
 
 
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:56pm
Dr. Green, “pricks and dicks” and presidential shits would make an excellent rap-song in Tubularsock’s opinion! Maybe Tubularsock will whip it out this afternoon. Opps, maybe a poor choice of words here.
 
But you are so correct with your comparison with American foreign policy!
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:57pm
Now Stone-Eater Friedli, you Europeans may not have cheerleaders but you do have beautiful women.
 
Just because some are feminist doesn’t hinder beauty.
 
And Tubularsock doesn’t believe in “ugly”. Doesn’t exist.
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:57pm
Dr. Green your foreign policy observations are hard-on. We couldn’t “pull out” of Vietnam because Johnson’s johnson was too big. At least according he thought so!
 
Thanks for your comments.
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:58pm
Dave, yes when you combine the “bar-b-q chicken circuit” in with the “smoke-filled back rooms” you do get a pretty fowl outcome for sure!
 
Tubularsock is rather impressed with your P= P1 + P2 as opposed to P1 + np = -0 theories.
 
That’s science for ya!
 
Thanks for your input or should Tubularsock say your output?
Whatever.
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 4:59pm
mark henry smith, thanks for taking the time to comment. Tubularsock was more of a Smothers Brothers fan but loved Rowan and Martin as well. Great stuff for the time.
 
“Sock-it-TO-me”?
 
You are so correct ...... the first guy to grab the narrative takes the momentum and usually holds the “facts” of a situation regardless if later those “facts” are proven false.
 
9/11 is a paramount example as well as WMD’s and Iraq and Saddam Hussein’s connection to Al-Qaeda!
 
Yet the beat goes on!
Stone-Eater Added Dec 8, 2017 - 5:38pm
9/11
 
in German is: 9 + 2 = 11.
 
And ... 11 is the sign of the holy fried egg + 2 sunny side up, but not in foggy places.
 
So 11 + 2 sunny (-3 probability) + 32° Fahrenheit which is 0+ celsius adds up to:
 
42 !
 
And....42 is the ultimate solution to everything !!
 
Tell that to the carrot !!!
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 8, 2017 - 5:44pm
"Dr. Green your foreign policy observations are hard-on. We couldn’t “pull out” of Vietnam because Johnson’s johnson was too big. At least according he thought so!"
 
Yep! Shit can get to your head.
Tubularsock Added Dec 8, 2017 - 8:26pm
SEF, thank you for clearing that up. How silly of Tubularsock not to translate all this into German!
 
YES, “42 is the ultimate solution to everything”. And as you already are aware SEF, 42 is the ONLY consecutive number that fits between 41 and 43!
 
However, it may be more difficult to explain all this to “the carrot” for he doesn’t speak German.
 
Thanks for you contribution to science and helping to assist Tubularsock in his menu for tomorrow’s breakfast.
 
Cheers!
Jeff Michka Added Dec 8, 2017 - 9:47pm
Dr. Green quotes the Tube: Dr. Green your foreign policy observations are hard-on. We couldn’t “pull out” of Vietnam because Johnson’s johnson was too big. At least according he thought so!" Yep! Shit can get to your head.- More Johnson talk and thought,  I'm surprised Lyndon didn't wind up, in a joint session of congress, whipping out his Johnson and asking all the members to do the same for comparison.  I won't suggest he would have been better off doing to his Johnson what he did to his dog's ears.
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 8, 2017 - 10:56pm
@ Jeff. "I'm surprised Lyndon didn't wind up, in a joint session of congress, whipping out his Johnson and asking all the members to do the same for comparison.  I won't suggest he would have been better off doing to his Johnson what he did to his dog's ears."
 
Was he known for his measured action beyond 'Nam? The little humor is refreshing compared the bigly ones we are faced with in the coming religious holidays--so many will be killed over God. But then again, if you want to learn about mass slaughter, read the Bible.
 
Though we seek to advance gaiety on the subject, it is a fact the presidential  dick  dictates--whether to a wide eyed and fulled ... intern under the desk, or world leaders who must do a licking to avoid a whipping.
 
 
Tubularsock Added Dec 9, 2017 - 1:56am
Well Dr. Green and Jeff Michka it really is funny stuff until you really think about the amount of destruction to people and their lives handed out by these pricks!
 
And all for what?
 
And yes, the Bible is one mass murder episode. “God” was one mean son-of-a-bitch to try to please.
Dino Manalis Added Dec 9, 2017 - 3:45pm
It's normal for men to like women, but no harassment should be involved.  You should ask her kindly and respect her!
Jeff Michka Added Dec 9, 2017 - 5:54pm
Dino M placates: It's normal for men to like women, but no harassment should be involved.  You should ask her kindly and respect her!-So let me get this straight...if a Republican gets a woman corralled and wants to stick his Johnson down her throat and she sez no, does that mean she just said yes?
Jeff Michka Added Dec 9, 2017 - 5:58pm
Tubularsock sez: Maybe Tubularsock will whip it out this afternoon. Opps, maybe a poor choice of words here.  Think even Tubularsock's Johnson would make for a bad microphone.  And a male XLR connector to connect the Johnson to a mixer would be ungrounded and painful. There would be an interesting hum on the recording.
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 9, 2017 - 9:05pm
You guys are nuts.
 
"Dino M placates: It's normal for men to like women, but no harassment should be involved.  You should ask her kindly and respect her!-So let me get this straight...if a Republican gets a woman corralled and wants to stick his Johnson down her throat and she sez no, does that mean she just said yes?"
 
Yes, there is confusion regarding when a lady says no and she means yes. Few men can stand purchasing a new mattress for a lady and getting ready to break it in when the lady puts them out for good. Another fellow will do the breaking in. 
 
In regarding to: "if a Republican gets a woman corralled and wants to stick his Johnson down her throat and she sez no, does that mean she just said yes?""
 
Well there have been cases where Democrats whipped out their Johnsons to stick it somewhere and the Republican woman whipped a more fearsome Johnson.  Needless to say the Republican ended up dead and the Democrat is now doing time, no doubt having flowers placed in his mouth by lifers.
 
 
Tubularsock Added Dec 10, 2017 - 12:06am
Dr. Green. Thank you for your comment. There is ALWAYS confusion when different parts of one's body are saying different things.
 
A sign of being "nuts" perhaps.
 
William Stockton Added Dec 10, 2017 - 11:33am
F.U.C.K.  (fornication under consent of the king)
We are in the middle of a new renaissance where 1000 years from now they will look back on this era and say,
F.U.C.C  (fornication under consent of the court)
 
Putting a dick into another person is a legal liability.  This moral uprising now is flying in the face of a "free love" hippy generation that scoffed at morals.  Most of these guys being called out were part of that era of the 1970's. 
Sad liberal culter is, fortunately, is dying.
Tubularsock Added Dec 10, 2017 - 4:04pm
William Stockton, thank you, for your comment.
 
Tubularsock wouldn’t go as far as to say that the “free love” hippy generation were immoral, they just freed up the conversation.
 
Tubularsock would also say that “immorality” isn’t just a “liberal”
left-over from the 1960-70’s. Tubularsock just can’t see Donnie and Roy as immoral hippies. Maybe Pence if he could have dinner with women besides “mother”.
 
Which in Tubularsock’s opinion would be far better for him then his current state of having to masturbate into his Bible for pleasure. Just look at his agonized facial expression ..... poor devil!
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 10, 2017 - 5:16pm
"Which in Tubularsock’s opinion would be far better for him then his current state of having to masturbate into his Bible for pleasure. Just look at his agonized facial expression ..... poor devil!"
 
Well in the days when decency, Christianity, and good morals prevailed, a good Christian woman being pile driven by her husband risked being stoned to death if smile or an utterance of appreciation was evidenced. The Godly husband would report her to the church and she would be stone to death after the godly Church men conducted their iniquity( you know the word).
 
Perhaps Pense being mindful of same has to keep a stiff upper lip when Trump jumps on him. To avoid problem he keeps a permanent frown.
 
 
Tubularsock Added Dec 10, 2017 - 6:00pm
Dr. Green, Tubularsock has got to admit that your explanation is something Tubularsock, with his very high moral standard mind, has not considered. 
 
Thank you for broaching this topic so quickly.
 
Cheers.
Jeff Michka Added Dec 10, 2017 - 7:00pm
Billy Stockpot exclaims: This moral uprising now is flying in the face of a "free love" hippy generation that scoffed at morals.  Most of these guys being called out were part of that era of the 1970's.-Let us guess, you're embittered because when the  "free love" hippy generation was getting some, you, Willy Stockpot weren't getting any.  Given you numerous rightist complaints, one can only presume during periods of "free love," Willy had a dry and personally-handled Johnson.  Give up the pretense.
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 10, 2017 - 9:04pm
@ Jeff. "Willy had a dry and personally-handled Johnson. "
 
I must hand it to you, you do have a handle on things.
mark henry smith Added Dec 11, 2017 - 12:33pm
Great stuff, what Trump says after intercourse.
 
My dad's company was called Johnson/Smith, I petitioned to inherit the name.
 
But where's a woman's perspective? I think they're all pussies.
Neelon Crawford Added Dec 12, 2017 - 2:01am
What does penis waving have to do with tax reform or European films?  
 
Speaking of number of pages, you should love the new Tax Reform bill it allows most Americans the ability to complete their taxes on a postcard.  
Tubularsock Added Dec 12, 2017 - 1:35pm
Neelon, thanks for the comment.
 
Ok, let Tubularsock get to the bottom line for ya’.
 
Would you sign a contract without reading it?
 
If so, please contact:
TUBULARSOCK POST CARD SCAMS, LTD.
 
Does Tubularsock have a deal for you!
Neelon Crawford Added Dec 13, 2017 - 4:20am
My point was that penis waving and contracts have little to do with each other. 
 
As for contracts and your question about whether or not I would sign one that I didn’t read, the answer is “yes” and I imagine just about every person in this country has done likewise.  After all, every time you sign up for a credit card or buy a house or purchase an airplane ticket, there is a long-winded contract that you probably aren’t reading. 
 
As for reading the complete text of a Bill, as you point out, “2/3rds of those pages are fluff-bull-shit and 1/3rd of those pages are refined bull shit.”  Who wants to read / what’s the point in reading a bunch of bullshit? 
 
I would argue that 80% of those pages are legalize and 20% is necessary reading.  Of the 20% that's necessary, between staffers and other members of the legislature who you side with, one doesn’t need to read everything to be confident a Bill should be signed or not signed. 
 
I don’t know why you’re getting so hot and bothered about a 500 page Bill.  Compared to the Bills the Democrats were signing during the Obama years, that’s nothing. 
Tubularsock Added Dec 13, 2017 - 12:21pm
Neelon Crawford, thanks again for your comments. This isn’t a comparison between political parties. Both are wretched and non-responsive to the people’s real needs.
 
The corruption level and incompetence is apparent.
 
The Tax Bill much like the health bills are geared to the corporate elite not toward the people’s welfare.
 
By the time they eliminate “write-offs” for the middle class but protect private jet maintenance for the wealthy you may be able to see the point.
 
This trickle-down crap has never worked but they keep putting it out like it could happen and people are fooled once again. The ONLY people that will walk out of this with a stack of cash are the power elite. Same as it ever was!
 
Over 60% of money borrowed and spent is for military boondoggling and Tubularsock doesn’t see any correction in that line of expense.
 
No indeed, home owner deductions and student loans have to be curved. Spending for the poor have to be adjusted. While the wealthy walk away with the “money-pot”!
 
And then, of course as usual, you take a look at the riders to the bill and all you see is destruction to the country for short term profit to a handful of the corporate class.
 
It doesn’t matter which party, they have been rigged and bought out years ago.
 
The suckers are the citizens who still believe their Congress gives a shit about them and their needs.
Jeff Michka Added Dec 13, 2017 - 4:12pm
Tubularsock notes: No indeed, home owner deductions and student loans have to be curved. Spending for the poor have to be adjusted. While the wealthy walk away with the “money-pot”!-Not to mention those overly wealthy bad ol teachers who spend hundreds each year because the too poor to piss in a pot school districts can't afford school supplies. Of course, this is a good reason for Betsy Devos to fund charter schools.
mark henry smith Added Dec 14, 2017 - 3:07pm
In the master debates that squeal from the bowels of congress it becomes painfully clear that they're all trying to get a leg over, sorry. that should read, leg up.
 
In a porn movie, these guys would be fluffers. That's about the best thing most of them can do. Fluff the Johnsons of the big long-sperm donors, sorry that should read, long-term donors. I've never actually seen a porn movie in it's entirety, except the X-rated Cinderella, that I saw on local public TV, not kidding. Clicked on the remote and there it was pubic TV, sorry again. The plot was that the prince had to find the one he'd met at the ball. And it is a musical. When the prince's right hand man sings, she had a snapper, I cracked up and tried to get the wife to watch it. She just thought it was silly. She likes hard core. Pain inflicted, that kind of crap. An odd couple if ever there was one. Like Trump and Tillerson. Or Trump and Ill, before they had a falling out over Trump's hair or something.
 
My point is that the best bills come with pork attached.    
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 15, 2017 - 2:40pm
@ mark. "In a porn movie, these guys would be fluffers. That's about the best thing most of them can do. Fluff the Johnsons of the big long-sperm donors, sorry that should read, long-term donors. I've never actually seen a porn movie in it's entirety, except the X-rated Cinderella, that I saw on local public TV, not kidding. "
 
Talk about a fraudian slip and something in cheek. Am I to understand you have never seen real porn but you will know it when you see it? That sounds not like Papal Bull, but the bull from our politicians. Still, your post is informative and enlightening.  Next time I see long Don/John Silver, I will ask him who was his fluffer.
Hell, if you were shocked regarding porn while watching TV with a child, you had better not have one on when you are sitting with your son, those individuals (news casters) they have modeling as men may cause you to put a fist in the tube. Not you Tubular.
mark henry smith Added Dec 16, 2017 - 11:26am
I have no idea what perverted notions you have in your head Dr. Greenspan, but I've never watched porn with a child or anyone else for that matter. Or ever bought porn in my life. Have never looked at internet porn, except the odd click now and then just to see the extent of the salaciousness in this sick society in which we live. Speak for yourself sir.
 
I tried to get the wife to watch that Cindarella, not because it was porn, but because it was pure camp and amusing.
 
I find porn to be dull fair compared to a well written story inh the newspaper. I am a man of the mind, not the grind, and what son are you talking about? Who the hell do you think I am? It doesn't matter, the cops know. All of those people who've gotten their laughs at my expense should remember the old adage, he who laughs last, laughs best, Kevin.
Jeff Michka Added Dec 16, 2017 - 11:53am
mhs sez: "Great stuff," what Trump says after intercourse.-followed by "I really need to be pissed off...Melanoma, where are you?"
Tubularsock Added Dec 16, 2017 - 12:04pm
Jeff, Tubularsock knew out of everyone YOU would have an inside track on Donnie's post-junk-dunk conversation.
Jeff Michka Added Dec 16, 2017 - 7:09pm
Jeff, Tubularsock knew out of everyone YOU would have an inside track on Donnie's post-junk-dunk conversation.BUT, OF COURSE!-JUST WAIT UNTIL THE Summer Olympics...we'll have a gold medalist in watersports as president.