Do We Make Too Much Ado About Bullying?

This video has gone viral and receives a lot of attention from celebrities who want to signal their virtue on behalf of bully victims. It is the ultimate conservative buster because the complainer is not some ‘minority’ adult, but a cute little boy. Ben Shapiro’s battle cry ‘your feelings don’t matter’ would sound disturbing to any compassionate onlooker.

 

I hate these bully victim videos. Like most of them this one is at least to some extent staged. I saw a load of hate hoax claims particularly from adults over the years. Even high-up politicians like Katrin Göring-Eckhardt of the German Green party put their thin skin on display and read out internet hate messages. I have no doubt that this boy was mocked, yet the decision to catch his crying on camera is a bit unnatural. His ice-voice mother rather films and questions him than to give him a hug.

 

These videos are all precursors to attacks on free speech. They are the equivalent of the crying toddler footage that surfaces during every war in which our military/political elites take some interest in.

 

Now, I think of my own childhood and how I was raised. My parents taught me to never hurt some other kid if I was not physically attacked, to never go after a weaker kid and to simply ignore verbal attacks that I didn’t like. They also told me that if I get physically attacked, I should not go to teachers or other authorities but to beat the crap out of the attacker. If he/she was too strong I was expected to organize friends. I never needed to organize friends and I was hardly involved in physical fights because my parents gave me the tips how to handle myself.

 

Maybe this is the answer why we have all this mobbing and political aggression in the first place. As psychology professor Jordan Peterson points out the threat of low-level, yet physical violence can be a civilizing force. It is possible that we need to fear and learn from these threats to develop civilized, peaceful personalities.

 

Both of my parents, my mother and my father, say that they were doing the schoolyard brawls all by themselves. I find it troubling that kids don’t learn the social skills to avoid fights anymore and that there is an utter reliance on authorities. These kids will become adults who would never stand up against tyranny. So here I am, having all sympathies for the little man in the video, but I don’t really want to see him grow up to become a state-dependent pussy. I really have a problem with the mother’s cold, attention-seeking approach.

 

I believe that my parents made the right decisions. It didn't harm me. I'm just a conservative war-monger now.

Comments

Don Added Dec 11, 2017 - 4:04pm
 
I have had a problem with this bullying thing. As a child, I was the smallest person in my age group. Thus, I was always in a fight. My father told me that if any bigger person attacked me to pick up a brick and cold cock him. Once a really big guy started up with me and I took out a safety pin and drove it all the way through his cheek. That cured that one.
 
I lived in a middle class neighborhood, but we still ran in packs. If the other gang was too big for us, I would do things like put my group in front of some ones’ big picture window. When the stones came at us we yelled loud enough for the owner to come out and protect the window.

Now, if there had been guns and knives like in the inner city these days, then of course things would have been different.
 
I may be very insensitive, but I do think we are raising a generation of girly men.
Dino Manalis Added Dec 11, 2017 - 4:33pm
Bullying should be taken seriously, because it could lead to mass shootings!  Both the bullied and the bullier need mental assistance!
Dave Volek Added Dec 11, 2017 - 9:07pm
My son is low on the pecking order in his elementary and junior high school. He is missing some social intelligence and does not have many friends.
 
In Grades 4 and 5, the bullies would play a game called "Let's get the dumb kid in trouble." They would tease him until he got riled up and his fists started swinging. Of course, their teasing would be under the teachers' radar, but the fist swinging was not. It seemed the bullies were in a position to "defend themselves" and that gave them license to put a few knocks into my son. My son is not a rough-and-tumble kid. He lost all these fights, and that made him a bigger target.
 
I had to coach the teachers that this was happening. I had to coach my son to ignore their taunts and let the teachers know he was being taunted. Eventually he was not bullied as much. 
 
Bullies are psychologically damaged. They need power and control over others. They love the fear they put into others. Their sense of self worth is based on how bad they can make someone else feel. They are also smart; they know how far they can push their bullying and probably not suffer any societal sanction. They can move their bullying "underground" when they are called to account. 
 
Your solutions will not help my son. If being a better fighter gets the bullies off his back, he will take that lesson to adulthood. And the bullies will just find some one weaker. 
 
Bullied kids are often social outcasts. And they bring that psyche to adulthood.
 
And bullies tend to bring their nature into the adult world. Their techniques become more socially acceptable, but they are still about power and control over others. If they are confronted at a young age by authority figures, they often mend their ways.
 
I feel sorry that you don't have much empathy for that kid in the video. He can't fight back.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Dec 11, 2017 - 10:56pm
the threat of low-level, yet physical violence can be a civilizing force.
 
In his later years granddad lamented: The reason theres's so many assholes today is because there are so few asswhippinns'. 
Jeffry Gilbert Added Dec 11, 2017 - 11:08pm
As a child, I was the smallest person in my age group.
 
Try always being the biggest guy in the room. The "if I can whip him everyone else will leave me alone" syndrome. Try having to learn to talk really softly in mixed company so as not to scare people, ditto for having to stand further away for the same reason. Try always having a new bump or scratch on your head. Try NEVER being able to buy any article of clothing in any store ever everything must be custom made.  
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 12, 2017 - 1:18am
Don: The window thing is a good idea. Always seek places with witnesses when one is in a hostile environment. Children, like adults, must know that they go to the authorities when grave danger (e.g. from knive, pistol) is pending. I think it's important that we understand how this is the last resort and should remain the last resort.
Dino: A spoilt kid can lead to mass shooting.
Dave: So your son understood that the bullies lose their power if he ignores their taunts. Good. Authority figures are just another weapon and it brings a lot of dishonesty into the conflicts. Your son could have easily being thrown out of school after his first physical reaction to the silly taunts. You don't want that.
Jeff Gilbert: He was right. May he rest in peace! As a kid I always wore the worn clothes of other family members and cheap discounter stuff. I never wore fashionable brands and was taunted for it. Another good decision by my parents. It is how the character builds up.
 
 
Stephen Hunter Added Dec 12, 2017 - 6:44am
Bullying is a nasty and despicable human behavior. And we all are hard wired with this inherent tendency. The reason is that the bully is actually insecure of him/her self and by appearing/acting stronger than others, is stoking this inadequacy, thus inflating his false self or ego. A course in grade 4 on this, exposing the true inner thought of the bully, would go a long way to making this a more peaceful world. 
David Montaigne Added Dec 12, 2017 - 6:50am
I recently read a great book on bullying by a former teacher of mine:
Bullying in Plain Sight: How Inattentive Adults Encourage the School Bullies
I commented on Amazon: "Parents don't want justice, they want quiet." School officials want to seem tough and often yell about bad behavior but they usually don't look for anything proactively, don't catch bullying in the act, and don't make much effort to determine the facts so they treat victims and perpetrators the same with lazy threats of punishing all involved. One of the many truths in this insightful book is that children learn to not even bother involving disinterested adults when "justice" is meted out with "false equivalency" which punishes victims and amuses the bullies. Public displays of "taking action" are worthless when the supervising adults do the minimum to restore order and quiet - without any attempt at fairness or determining who did what. Bullying can have serious consequences and Dr. Chandler gives great examples of what actually happens to students from the victims' perspective - and what parents and teachers and other school officials can proactively do to help eliminate these aggressive behaviors."
Stephen Hunter Added Dec 12, 2017 - 7:14am
David I agree and think why teachers do NOT get involved is that they do not know what to do. Because they are not trained and do not understand the mental health implications, for both the bully and the bullied. 
Dave Volek Added Dec 12, 2017 - 9:12am
Stephan:
 
Canadian teachers (or at least in Alberta) are trained for handling bullies. If they suspect a bullying situation, they will bring the two parties together. Often it is hard getting to the truth as the bullies are quick to point out that the bullied kid "started it." So each kid tells his/her side of the story. If the truth cannot be found, the teacher gives each side some techniques to handle a similar situation. Of course, the lesson is often not immediately learned, so a  few more visits to authority figures are needed to seal the learning experience.  Eventually when a party is making too many visits to the principal's office, more serious corrective action is taken.
 
Benjamin: Involving authority figures was a crucial part of the solution. Ignoring taunts is not enough.
 
I am wondering if you and your neighbor have a dispute about your property line, do you go to city officials to sort things out--or do you go and punch his teeth out?
 
Bullying is a social ill that needs to be cured.
 
 
 
Cliff M. Added Dec 12, 2017 - 10:50am
When I was a little kid about five years old a neighborhood kid who was a little older had a habit of hitting smaller kids. I told my mom about this and she said the next time this kid hits you to punch him in the nose.A couple of days later she heard some screaming and went to investigate. The kid who would hit other kids was standing there crying with a bloody nose.That was the last issue with that kid.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 12, 2017 - 11:09am
Kareem: Thank you!
Hunter: I don't see the point of a psycho course. I also don't believe that bullies are more insecure than others; rather the opposite. It would be pointless to expose some mindreader knowledge that is actually false.
Montaigne: You expose very well how involving authorities is just another weapon that does not lead to justice. Teachers are not all-knowing gods. Their own character weaknesses lead to unjust false equivalences and their presence to more dishonesty in the conflict. We see virtue signalling institutions and parents who fail to teach their kids how to protect themselves. I am also horrified what lessons the children learn from this: that justice does not matter, that conflicts are a Russian roulette where they can't determine the outcome, learnt helplessness, no need to honestly talk through stuff with your adversaries on your own. It's no wonder we see the college campus craze right now.
Dave Volek: The learning experience is that the better lier will always get his way. Kids shouldn't have this learning experience. I also think the great evils of our time is the all too quick escalations ("Muh, he said the x-word. Punch the Nazi!"). Going to authorities is an escalation. Land disputes with your neighbour shouldn't escalate that quickly. I see a real problem with people who don't know how to confront each other with speech anymore. It's the death of diplomacy. The rise of anti-free speech authoritarians is a result of the failed child rearing approach of the last decades.
Dave Volek Added Dec 12, 2017 - 11:15am
Benjamin
 
I guess in your world we should have more bullies because they help build character.
 
Cliff M. Added Dec 12, 2017 - 11:20am
In the words of George Carlin," I don't give a shit, I don't take no shit".Parent's have to teach their kids not to be door mats or it is a problem that will follow them for the rest of their lives.
Ian Thorpe Added Dec 12, 2017 - 3:03pm
There's a novel by Scottish writer Chris Brookmyre, "A Tale Etched In Blood And Hard Black Pencil" which proposes that bullying originates from teachers. I wouldn't entirely agree, but its an interesting idea and I had some experience of it at school.
I do however agree with the person above who commented that we are turning boys into girly men by policies of mollycoddling those who cast themselves as victims.
One the subject of bullying though the people I deplore most are the headmasters we have in Britain who at the mention of bullying problems immediately say, "There's no bllying in my school, we operate a zero tolerance policy on bullying," because what I assume they really mean is "In my school we have zero tolerance of the snivelling little shits who complain about bullying because it harms the schools' reputation."
Don Added Dec 12, 2017 - 3:16pm
David, I am sure like a lot on this thread I am touched by the story of your son. However, kids like him are the exception. I am concerned that if we ever have to gear up against an enemy like we had to in WWII, that we will be in trouble if we have too many girly-men. Like on the international scene, if we just give into bullying, expect worse.
Dave Volek Added Dec 12, 2017 - 3:52pm
I don't get it!
 
I've encountered a few workplace bullies over the years. While their techniques are usually more subtle than the average schoolyard bully, they are still trying to gain power and control over me. They get satisfaction that I am uneasy in their presence.
 
As an adult, I cannot pop them in the teeth to stop bullying me. I will be charged with assault. The judge will likely not accept my reasons why I needed to take their teeth out. 
 
If we adults cannot throw punches when some other adult offends us, why should kids be encouraged to do the same?
 
Do all you guys take affairs into your own hands when an unresolvable dispute arises? Or do you call in some authority, which often includes the police?
 
Dave Volek Added Dec 12, 2017 - 3:53pm
Don
The army weeds out those who can go into the front lines and those who should stay behind and support the front line. Not all soldiers are combat veterans.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 12, 2017 - 3:59pm
Dave: I'm not sure where your coming from. You have read the article that says how kids should be told not to escalate from speech to violence. I repeated it in the comments and now you wonder why you can't punch a coworker. Can you explain what you mean?
Dave Volek Added Dec 12, 2017 - 4:08pm
Benjamin
You said: Going to authorities is an escalation.
 
I don't get it.
 
If I have a drunken ranting neighbor in my apartment building, I'm calling the police.
 
If a school kid is being pushed around the hallways, what the f#(k is he supposed to do? Especially if he is not a rough-and-tumble kid and he is outnumbered 4 to 1. Very few of us are true fighters.
 
 
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 12, 2017 - 4:46pm
If I have a drunken ranting neighbor in my apartment, I sent him home. He's just drunk. 
 
If the kid is pushed around in the hallway, the options mentioned in the article apply. If they are many, he has to organize friends to hang out with so they the bad kids can be dealt with. The best way is to approach the other group and ask what's up with them - within the protection of your own group. We are at the stage when we talk pushing violent enough so the kid must reasonably fear harm. Annoyance can easily be addressed verbally. Just push back!
 
I remember a good teacher. Once a girl interrupted her class and said 'the boys are throwing paper pellet'. My teacher sight and said 'throw back' and continued her class! Another good teacher praised us with a thank you before the class started whenever he heard that we broke up a fight. So he created order by encouraging chivalry among the pupils. It is one thing if a strong person steps in to stop a scuffle and a completely different thing if you teach kids to always seek help from strongmen/authorities.
 
Going to authorities is an escalation and a big one. You don't bridge that divide that easily thereafter.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 12, 2017 - 4:48pm
Sorry, typing mistake. Annoyance like light pushes can be addressed verbally or by pushing back.
Tamara Wilhite Added Dec 12, 2017 - 6:39pm
By giving victims an unlimited moral pass, we've seen kids intentionally bully themselves online to get moral status and praise from their peers.
Cyberbullying's chilling trend: Teens anonymously target themselves online, study finds
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/11/08/cyberbullings-chilling-trenda-growing-number-teens-anonymously-bullying-themselves-online-study-find/831070001/
Jeffry Gilbert Added Dec 12, 2017 - 8:51pm
If I have a drunken ranting neighbor in my apartment building, I'm calling the police.
 
Yeah, because cops always make a bad situation worse you fuckin' rat. 
 
Jeffry Gilbert Added Dec 12, 2017 - 8:53pm
Very few of us are true fighters.
 
Doesn't mean you have to be a fuckin' pussy. Lift up your skirt and grab your balls for a change. 
Cliff M. Added Dec 12, 2017 - 9:22pm
Life can be tough. You have to teach your kids respect but also self respect.Don't tread on me is one of the best attributes to have.Walk quietly but carry a big stick.When I was in highschool I was pretty small and a big guy decided he thought it would be funny to dump a bowl of peaches on my head. That got him an immediate punch in the face. This happened in front of about 500 kids in the cafeteria and got us both in deep shit.Nobody fucked with me after that. The element of surprise(my father taught me} wins most battles. The ironic part is even though my father taught me about defending myself I never once saw him get physically violent.
Jeff Michka Added Dec 12, 2017 - 9:56pm
Dave V SEZ: victims and perpetrators the same with lazy threats of punishing all involved-tHE nextdoor Trumpist defended his kid's bullying of latinos by claiming his son was "expressing a popular political opinion" by taunting the latino girl would be rounded up and deported, and her parents would be deported and she'd be left behind. The kid has gone on to try and bully other latino kids in the neighborhood.  It's a problem IMO that has originated with the parent. He's a racist piece of garbage..."teach your children," I guess.
Hamilton Added Dec 12, 2017 - 10:16pm
Without delving into any ideas about a solution to bullying or about the relevance or effects of it, I'll simply say that by bona fide survivors' testimony, bullying played and integral part in the Columbine High School massacre.
 
My son had a bully in his 7th or 8th grade class.  The school broke up the kid's friend group by sending him to another school. The kid's parents had to drive him every morning and they either didn't or couldn't appeal the decision.
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 13, 2017 - 2:32am
Bulling is dangerous in that it does not help prepare the men and women we need to fight war. The men whom we wish our boys to grow up like are seen on television.
I like the school decision above. If a parent cannot control his or her child, then pay the consequences.
 
We must honor our differences; however. some boys squash every critter seen; others take them home in boxes and pet them. The paradox in my response speaks to the complexity of the problem. As for the Columbine, some teachers do bully students.
Tom C. Purcell Added Dec 13, 2017 - 10:44am
The saddest, most embarrassing aspect of this conversation is that as a society, we are reduced to analyzing and bickering amongst ourselves on transgender bathroom use, bullying, and staged cyber-bullying.  It plays right into the hands of the elite, deep state.  - Just turn the mob on itself.   
Dave Volek Added Dec 13, 2017 - 12:31pm
Tom
 
You might want to watch a documentary called Hypernormalization2016. It talks about how the truth has become more and more distorted as the decades pass: this societal trend did not start with Mr. Trump!
 
About 3/4 of way through the documentary, it talks about the situation in Russia. It seems the Kremlin is pretty good at funding various opposing protest movements, get them together at the same time and place, and then have the government come and stop the riot.
 
So we really need to ask ourselves: "Are we being played?"
 
As you know, I have strong feelings on this topic: we just can't have kids bopping each other when someone says something offensive. And I think the Canadian schools are doing a better job than when I went to school. But we still have a long ways to go.
 
But is this issue (and many other issues) a mask for something deeper.
 
While I did not agree with many commentators in this thread, I wonder whether if debating whether we let our kids bop bullies in the teeth or have the teachers deal with bullying is a side issue. 
 
Maybe we need to ask why do we have bullies in the first place?
Tom C. Purcell Added Dec 13, 2017 - 12:46pm
Well, we'll always have bullies.  We'll continue to have more bullies if we don't teach our kids to stand up for themselves.  For those kids who are not able to, or are unfairly overmatched, they must learn an alternate route to confrontation or be protected by the nearest adult or responsible elder.
 
I have no respect for bullies.  Childhood bullies can grow out of it relatively quickly with decent parenting and guidance.  Adult bullies are cowards that take advantage of our highly oversensitive, often spineless society. 
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 13, 2017 - 1:03pm
Tamara: Thank you for that link. It is astonishing.
 
Jeff G: Agree 100%, but let's not bully Dave ;-).
 
Cliff M: Good fight. One does not have to be stronger. In fact one doesn't even have to win the fight. Just send the message. Trade a bloody nose for a vicious bite or whatever. It's defence. The rule is to send a clear message and yet not to escalate it too much. Kids need to be taught rules like 'never kick somebody on the floor' and all the stuff that we knew when we were young. The right balance must be struck.
 
Jeff M: Hahaha If it's a liberal Latino kid it will believe that her parents will leave her behind. Liberals believe such things. My fight technique for the little one: become conservative (we believe in families)!
 
Hamilton: That doesn't wash with me. Everybody was bullied. The survivors may simply have used the standard explanation for mass shoutings that our culture provides instead of sharing their actual observations. BTW I also don't like Mondays.
 
Thanks for sharing that school bully story. At some point authorities do have to react. I'm not an anarchist. I don't know how extreme the kid was and if the punishment for the family was appropriate or too harsh.
 
Let's expand on the problem that there are psychopaths. Does a new school protect kids? Most psychopaths are very talented in organizing new followers in no time. So maybe the parents had to learn a lesson, were justly punished and have changed the way they raised their child. But maybe the child is born with innate psychopathy (note: can't be cured), in which case the school change only punishes the innocent parents who can't change anything.
 
What advice to give to kids (and adults)? Psychopaths command their followers with lies against their victims. Kids should not end up in the followership of such a (usually charming) individual. The bomb is diffused by telling kids to always check whether an accusation is true before it passes judgement.
- Is the accusation plausible?
- Is there evidence to substantiate the accusation?
- Is their another explanation for the evidence?
- Does the punishment fit the crime?
- If all victims of the bully and his followers 'had it coming' (according to them), the kid better does not follow the mob and speak out against the bully.
 
As he loses followers, he loses his power (and can occasionally be beaten up by the group when he attacks somebody - that only helps with learnt psychopathy, but is a moral practice in either way).
 
Dr Green: I think children who don't learn to deal with bullies on their own and e.g. to ignore verbal taunts, will never learn to stand for something unpopular. They will stand for nothing and certainly not for their country, which ideologues tell them to hate.
 
Purcell: I think the way children deal with bullies determines more the future of the country than toilet discussions. I see the queer toilet debate as a sympton of our inability to reason with one another. This is why I think kids need to learn it again. They have to solve conflicts - even irrational ones as with bullies. P.S. I would never stop you from using the lady's room. Speaking of bullying ;-).
 
Dave V: No conspiracy theories on this thread please. Whatever it is, let's blame it on the Jews for now.
 
Purcell again: The human nature as such will never change and some personality disorders are innate. You show a good grasp on the issue in this comment IMHO.
Hamilton Added Dec 13, 2017 - 4:49pm
Benjamin Goldstein:
On the Columbine massacre, there's nothing for you to wash. There was a bona fide recounting of a verbal exchange between one of the murderers and one of the victim students, indicating that the murderer had been teased or bullied (don't know the extent of it) and was taking it out on the victim, and evidently a whole lot more kids. You can find a detailed accounting of the massacre online. I was amazed at how much detail was in there. It's not graphic but with a vivid imagination and sufficient sensitivity, it's a bit of a hard read.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 14, 2017 - 3:17pm
Hamilton: I don't even know what the information that the Columbine shooter was teased or bullied tells us. How on earth could these kids be the only ones in the world who were not bullied at some point in their schooltime? Do we know that bullying was the driving force that led to the attack? If you can't tell if they were bullied or teased, you are unlikely to know that it was relevant. And if the bullying was the cause, is making more ado about it institutionwise a way to improve the situation? Is it worth it given the rarity of mass shootings (don't pull up the phony statistics - the real ones make big headlines)?
Ari Silverstein Added Dec 15, 2017 - 9:36am
“They also told me that if I get physically attacked, I should not go to teachers or other authorities but to beat the crap out of the attacker. If he/she was too strong I was expected to organize friends.”
 
Your parents gave you some bad advice.  The anti-bullying campaign we hear about so much today implores the bullied and the bystanders to report what’s happening to people of authority.  More aggression or mob retaliation is the worst possible response. 
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 15, 2017 - 11:09am
Ari: Obviously, I find this campaigne really problematic. If we train our children to report each other to the authorities all the time, we create the basis of a future police state.
 
More aggression or mob retaliation is the worst possible response. 
Why?
 
How did your parents react when they heard that you had been beaten up? Did they helicopter themselves straight into the principal's office or did they ask you to deal with it on your own?
Ari Silverstein Added Dec 15, 2017 - 3:36pm
Benjamin: When someone has infringed on your rights, it’s your duty to report that individual to the authorities, rather than take matters into your own hands and break the law yourself.  I was never beaten up nor did I ever beat someone up.  Whatever troubles I had with others was handled without my parent’s involvement.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 15, 2017 - 3:46pm
Ari: I think we agree. I don't encourage law breaking either. Still I wouldn't report minor transgressions to authorities.
So you made it through childhood without getting authorities involved all the time. This is the relevant thing for me. I'm happy that you were never beaten up. In fact before today I have never heard of anybody, male or female, who wasn't involved in brawls when they went to school.
Ari Silverstein Added Dec 16, 2017 - 6:20am
But you did encourage law breaking. 
 
Yes, I made it through childhood without getting the authorities involved all the time.
 
Getting beaten up by the school yard bully is one thing, getting into fights is another.   I suppose I did get in plenty of brawls, 10 minutes later it was like nothing ever happened.  I wish adults could do the same after a fight.   
Stephen Hunter Added Dec 17, 2017 - 8:28am
Hunter: I don't see the point of a psycho course. I also don't believe that bullies are more insecure than others; rather the opposite. It would be pointless to expose some mindreader knowledge that is actually false. 
Goldstein: The point of studying in depth any phenomena is to get a better understanding of it, so we can react in a better fashion. This is learning and something our species was wired to do. Many are simply scared of getting inside their own heads, and that is due to a deep seated insecurity(s). So they react in a violent fashion as triggered by their primal brains. The negative emotions/violence is met with violence and the struggle is manifested. The wars inside the head continue for a lifetime.  But it does not have to be that way. We can choose peace. 
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 17, 2017 - 10:12am
Ari: Quote the law, please!
Hunter: You are speculating. There is no evidence that bullies are more insecure than anybody else.
Stephen Hunter Added Dec 17, 2017 - 10:28am
Goldstein, rather than insecure, how about more fearful than most, thus tending to adopt a shoot first ask questions later mentality, while focusing on the weakest first? 
You have to admit that most(perhaps not all) schoolyard bullies, did not have a stable and emotionally balanced home upbringing? 
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 17, 2017 - 10:52am
Hunter: They often do not have a stable home, but they tend to be rather risk-taking individuals. The ones who end up in prison later clearly are not people who are particularly cautious or fearful. The theory does not match the observation.
Hamilton Added Dec 20, 2017 - 12:00am
Benjamin Goldstein,
I've made no claims about the relevancy of the bullying. I only included the fact that bullying was indeed mentioned in the online account I read. One might assume that whoever wrote the account thinks it was relevant, or else that the actual surviver thinks it was relevant. The murderer claimed, at the scene, that the victim had called him a "fag", ostensibly at some point in the past. The murdered said something like, "who's the fag now" and then shot the victim dead.  One of the other children in the room, who wasn't killed, recounted that exchange. Personally, I think bullying is an adolescence issue that has always existed. It's just that some kids can take it better than others. IMHO, if you look at the two boys, you have the classic situation of a chronically troubled kid paired up with a gullible follower for support. The result was a disaster in that case.
Jim Garrett Added Dec 20, 2017 - 8:09pm
I think bullying is a crucible which can determine whether you are strong enough for this world or not.  I transferred schools in the 9th grade.  A senior who was a bully decided I would be the guy to make an example of in front of the other freshmen.  This guy held multiple records in the school gym for various weightlifting events.  He was a very strong jock.  Anyway, he walks up and slugs me in the testicles.  I'll always remember the pain radiated up into my sides it was so bad.  But I had a choice.  I could be a pathetic loser and fall down and cry, in which case the bullying would continue, or I could gather some courage, fight through the pain, and show some strength.  I chose the latter.  Luckily, I was against a wall already so I could pretend that I was standing of my own accord even though I don't think I could feel my legs.  I laughed at the kid.  Probably a dumb idea which had a 50% chance of getting me  hit a second time.  I managed to say, "What the f%^k was that p*@sy?"  Even after I said it I felt like an idiot because I figured I just earned myself another hit.  Instead the kid looked at my bewildered and from there on out he was nice to me and even gave other people a hard time if they messed with me.  I think bullying gives you a great chance to see how you will react to adversity in your life.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 20, 2017 - 10:42pm
Jim Garrett: As painful as it reads, I'm very grateful that you shared your story. It is very impressive. You conducted yourself extremely well. One thing is sure: You are a real man, Mr Garrett! I hope that you are a father. Your story should be shared as a moral example.
aCultureWarrior Added Dec 30, 2017 - 10:44pm
Ben Goldstein writes:
"I believe that my parents made the right decisions. It didn't harm me. I'm just a conservative war-monger now."
 
I hate to break the news to you Ben, but there is nothing conservative about pro LGBT, pro Muslim, Libertarian, which you are.