It seems as though assholes have become bigger in numbers over the past 20 years. I'm not sure why. I can see a doctor telling a young expecting couple that just had a test performed on the fetus saying "congratulations you going to be proud parents of an asshole." An asshole is slang for a typical psychopath. Also assholes come in both sexes and while the female type often gets called by other names for this article I'll just use the generic "asshole" term.
What I've noticed about many assholes is that in the beginning they seem like the greatest. They appear to be the perfect boss, most kind warmhearted girlfriend or boyfriend or the most generous friend. Often to the point we quickly develop a hero worship of them. Their compassion, understanding, warmth and wisdom seems to know no bounds.
Then a little into the relationship when we think we have the most awesome boss, loving boyfriend or girlfriend, greatest of friend, "wham", the true asshole identity comes out. The thing is that the asshole just makes it seem so natural and no big deal like they asked us to pass the salt at the dinner table. We are so shocked and our initial instinct is that we did something wrong and need to make amends, fast. But no matter how hard we try the asshole just keeps becoming a bigger asshole. Its the boss that dresses us down and threatens to fire us because we didn't produce that very complex spreadsheet in 5 minutes. The bf/gf completely upset because we didn't walk out of an important meeting or somehow call them from an airplane at 35,000 feet to see if they were ok. Or the friend that wanders into a restaurant 45 minutes late and in a sarcastic tone doesn't get why you are upset. After all the asshole is a very busy person and doesn't have time to call, text or email and YOU SHOULD understand that if you were really a friend.
Ultimately the relationship over time usually falls apart. We finally give the bf/gr or friend the heave ho. However, some relationships aren't so easy to extract ourselves from. Unfortunately most of us have a bad habit of needing a paycheck so we have to stick it out with that tyrant boss until we can find another job. Since often that job was a huge step up finding a comparable job doesn't happen over night. Of course the asshole sometimes ends the relationship, like a boss that fires you because you can't do complex tasks in a few minutes and don't seem to be able to pick up asshole's dry cleaning, make customer calls, and write reports in a simultaneous manner. We are made to believe these are the most simplistic and reasonable of requests and that we just do not pass muster.
I often wish like a blood test we could identify assholes at the start. Like making a little prick with a small needle on a seemingly really good boss to determine in fact will he or she turn into an asshole. I think anyone that could come up with a reliable potential asshole test should win the Nobel Peace Prize.
While I would think being an asshole would take a huge amount of energy, effort and time I usually find the asshole just seems to float above it all. It just doesn't connect that they have had 10 administration assistants that never lasted more than six months. Good help is so hard to find.