Deconstructing Assholes

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It seems as though assholes have become bigger in numbers over the past 20 years.  I'm not sure why. I can see a doctor telling a young expecting couple that just had a test performed on the fetus saying "congratulations you going to be proud parents of an asshole."  An asshole is slang for a typical psychopath.  Also assholes come in both sexes and while the female type often gets called by other names for this article I'll just use the generic "asshole" term.

 

What I've noticed about many assholes is that in the beginning they seem like the greatest.  They appear to be the perfect boss, most kind warmhearted girlfriend or boyfriend or the most generous friend. Often to the point we quickly develop a hero worship of them.  Their compassion, understanding, warmth and wisdom seems to know no bounds.

 

Then a little into the relationship when we think we have the most awesome boss, loving boyfriend or girlfriend, greatest of friend, "wham", the true asshole identity comes out.  The thing is that the asshole just makes it seem so natural and no big deal like they asked us to pass the salt at the dinner table.  We are so shocked and our initial instinct is that we did something wrong and need to make amends, fast.  But no matter how hard we try the asshole just keeps becoming a bigger asshole.  Its the boss that dresses us down and threatens to fire us because we didn't produce that very complex spreadsheet in 5 minutes.  The bf/gf completely upset because we didn't walk out of an important meeting or somehow call them from an airplane at 35,000 feet to see if they were ok.  Or the friend that wanders into a restaurant 45 minutes late and in a sarcastic tone doesn't get why you are upset.  After all the asshole is a very busy person and doesn't have time to call, text or email and YOU SHOULD understand that if you were really a friend.

 

Ultimately the relationship over time usually falls apart.  We finally give the bf/gr or friend the heave ho.  However, some relationships aren't so easy to extract ourselves from.  Unfortunately most of us have a bad habit of needing a paycheck so we have to stick it out with that tyrant boss until we can find another job.  Since often that job was a huge step up finding a comparable job doesn't happen over night.  Of course the asshole sometimes ends the relationship, like a boss that fires you because you can't do complex tasks in a few minutes and don't seem to be able to pick up asshole's dry cleaning, make customer calls, and write reports in a simultaneous manner. We are made to believe these are the most simplistic and reasonable of requests and that we just do not pass muster.

 

I often wish like a blood test we could identify assholes at the start.  Like making a little prick with a small needle on a seemingly really good boss to determine in fact will he or she turn into an asshole.  I think anyone that could come up with a reliable potential asshole test should win the Nobel Peace Prize.

 

While I would think being an asshole would take a huge amount of energy, effort and time I usually find the asshole just seems to float above it all.  It just doesn't connect that they have had 10 administration assistants that never lasted more than six months.  Good help is so hard to find. 

Comments

Tubularsock Added Dec 23, 2017 - 12:21pm
Oh yes, assholeology. There is a fine art to this study and one has to walk lightly but carry a big stick to maneuver the wicked road of this subject.
 
First off, life is a projection so what you latch onto is what you receive. If you notice that a perceived “asshole” isn’t an asshole to everyone but only to people they can get away with that type of behavior with is worth paying attention to.
 
If you are the recipient of the asshole’s actions then it is up to you to handle it.
 
A) You could attempt communication.
B) You could walk away.
C)You could coolly pull out a .38 and shoot the motherfucker in the head.
 
Now Tubularsock will point out here that “C” being “A” is not recommend even though it may save a lot of your time but on the other hand you may end up doing time so it’s a wash.
 
And “B” being “A” is rather rash if you need a job or relationship. Though “B” may save you time from doing time as well.
 
So the ONLY solution is THE PRESENT MOMENT.
Life is just a series of present moments.
 
You can’t truly predict the future and the past is gone so all there always is is THE PRESENT MOMENT.
 
Good luck!
Bill Kamps Added Dec 23, 2017 - 12:24pm
Im not sure if there are more assholes, or they are just less inhibited. 
 
While some people wear their heart on their sleeves, others wear their asshole on their sleeves.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Dec 23, 2017 - 12:46pm
Granddad in his later years suggested the reason there are so many assholes is because there are so few asswhippin's these days. 
mark henry smith Added Dec 23, 2017 - 12:52pm
It appears that I have been labeled an asshole, I was called that to me face the other day at Ludington Library by one of the librarians. It appears that she's lost her job in the last few days for reasons that aren't clear yet.
 
I assumed she was saying this because I'm an ex-con, pedophile who is out surfing for young things to corrupt, this being done by the someones who impersonate me for sport, or pay. The libraries have to be party to this, since so much of the weirdness has library connections.
 
But my favorite librarian in the entire world returned unexpectedly and she likes me and must have been seriously distressed that my on-line and in-person personas were so at odds. People must not have thought I was merely an asshole, but a crazy mother-fucker to boot.
 
The cops knew me and saw the real me and that's how all of this began to unravel, with one cop who came to the eviction proceedings at the church. There is going to be a lot of hell and Marko to pay, if my gut instincts are correct. And yesterday I heard my favorite librarian telling the rest of the staff that I am not the asshole they all thought I was, just an arrogant guy with strong opinions. I will accept that, guilty as charged.
 
George, I've often wondered if what I'm writing is what you're seeing, because I get the strangest looks from people. Of course, we are all hostages here to Autumn and the mysterious brother, since all of yours and mine input is filtered through them and the time stamp on writerbeat is ten-twenty minutes behind the official clock giving someone sufficient time to edit my work to inanity. And all of the comments have disappeared from all of my old pieces except for a couple.
 
I knew all of this long ago, but stayed to get to this point. You have to keep the person on the line long enough for the trace to be confirmed, right? Four years is long call, but I have a feeling it will be one of the best calls I ever made. Thanks George, keep up the good work, Asshole, just kidding. I've almost grown fond of the moniker having heard it so much in association with my name, Asshole Marko.   
 
I don't care. I work at writing and writing is the only way to improve and wtiterbeat has been very-very good to me.      
Dave Volek Added Dec 23, 2017 - 2:28pm
Good help is so hard to find. 
 
That's probably a good sign of the asshole. One the flip side, if one is paying low wages, don't be surprised if one gets assholes as employees. 
Dino Manalis Added Dec 23, 2017 - 2:37pm
Assholes are human beings, too, and they ought to be tolerated, if not changed!
Dr. Rupert Green Added Dec 23, 2017 - 2:48pm
You are trying to do the impossible... Navigate a big asshole with a little prick.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 23, 2017 - 3:59pm
We are so few on WB that every asshole we get is a plus.
Stone-Eater Added Dec 23, 2017 - 4:41pm
It seems as though assholes have become bigger in numbers over the past 20 years.
 
It's a result of having more information than we had before and have (yet...). That's all.
Stone-Eater Added Dec 23, 2017 - 4:43pm
BTW: MANY little nice guys can mutate to assholes when they have the $ sign in front of them.
Bill H. Added Dec 23, 2017 - 6:05pm
 
Assholes seem to be taking over for sure. They sit behind you in the restaurant, they are determined to run the rest of us off the road, seems that most bosses these days are assholes (probably because they also work under one), and now we have one running the country.
So it goes.
George N Romey Added Dec 23, 2017 - 6:47pm
With rise of the Internet and social media I think more assholes have arisen. People can insult away without consequences so it bleeds over into the real world. 30 years ago more assholes would have gotten their ass kicked.
Dave Volek Added Dec 23, 2017 - 8:24pm
George: You might be right. But when we encounter an asshole on the internet, it is not that difficult to turn him off. Real life is a little different.
 
Skip Stein Added Dec 24, 2017 - 9:00am
Not sure about the timing on this George but I do agree, assholes are everywhere.  Part of the reason, IMHO, is that people have become so damned self centered, full of shit/themselves, and totally ignorant about the world and people around them.  They are self absorbed, often on their cell phones texting, that they don't realize that they are being inconsiderate assholes in stores, on the roads and not doubt, with their families. 
 
You see it everywhere, just yesterday some asshole, not looking backed right into my car; luckily he had a tire on the back of his SUV so no damage to my little Smart Car.  People have just stopped paying attention to others and don't see the assholeness of their actions, much less seem to give a damn about them.
 
Parents are propagating this assholeness with their kids so we will have hordes of new assholes coming down the pike.  People have become selfish assholes and I'm not sure what can be done about it but to do my best to NOT be just another asshole.
 
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to ALL.
opher goodwin Added Dec 24, 2017 - 9:05am
George - do you think there's a gene? Or is it learnt behaviour? Is there a predisposition perhaps? Could it be an allergy?
Is there no cure? I would suggest electrotherapy - a few thousand volts should do it.
Katharine Otto Added Dec 24, 2017 - 7:05pm
George,
It's important to distinguish between asshole-ness as a character trait, and asshole-ness as someone having a bad day.  I have been guilty of the latter, through temporary thoughtlessness or not understanding the situation, but it is not my true nature.
 
A temporary asshole is capable of remorse and apology.  
A. Jones Added Dec 27, 2017 - 9:26pm
I see lots of descriptions of assholes; and lots of carping at assholes; but how is any of this a deconstruction?
Doug Plumb Added Dec 29, 2017 - 8:07am
Stephan Molyneux does an analysis called "bomb in the brain" relating to child abuse. Psychologists are now realizing the damage child abuse does - if you completely believe all this. There is tons of info on psychopathy and narcissistic personality disorder. I think NPD is more prevailent then psychopathy judging by the numbers of youtube videos on it. I think NPD explains the behaviour of politicians, etc better than psycopathy/sociopathy. I have never engaged in disciplined study of psychology.
  There is a book called "Assholes" written by a PhD philosopher who happens to be an asshole himself. He doesn't consider himself an asshole, but is because he uses his book to push the phoney AGW agenda. https://www.amazon.com/Assholes-Theory-Aaron-James/dp/0804171351
aCultureWarrior Added Dec 29, 2017 - 12:03pm
Can you believe it George, a**holes even wear suits!