DRAFT: The Downsides of Working with Women

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<p>I've worked at a couple of places where women were in the majority in both labor and management, and while a lot of them ranged from good to great to work with, unfortunately my overall experiences working with them have been largely negative. They're often wailing and whining about how men are hard-headed, stubborn, clueless, unfair&#160; and don't listen, but it is quite often them who are being that way. They say they can do anything and everything a man can do, but they often need constant assistance and are excessively demanding, gruff, hostile and outright rude when asking for it, or should I say, demanding it. When they make mistakes or damage or destroy something, it's never their fault.</p> <p>&#160;</p> <p>They're quick to label men as being sexist, yet if they don't think you're good-looking, have a sexy voice, or have a cute butt among their other "priorities" (heh heh), they don't want anything to do with you, unless you're a boss or otherwise someone they feel they can use. When you ask for their help, you're often met by a blank stare or an angry glare, even when you've helped them frequently and without complaint. They say they want gender equality, but their actions look like more of a pathetic attempt at a hostile takeover than a genuine and sincere effort to level the playing field. Speaking of which, female bosses are also not above having sexual relationships with male or female subordinates, or both.</p> <p>&#160;</p> <p>They are often sequestered in their little cliques, bitching and plotting away.&#160; They're often cruel, deceitful, devious, evil, manipulative, mean, opportunistic, petty, spiteful, and vindictive. They say they don't want to be treated like objects, yet many go to great lengths to objectify themselves; over the years I have seen a few being sent home to change into more workplace-appropriate clothing. Most places are much more tolerant of a woman's bad behavior and questionable competence than a man's. These are neither expressions of my opinion or imagination, as I've seen and experienced it all first-hand. Funny enough, I've had several women heartily agree with these statements, and even augmented quite a few of them! I know there are many men who are also guilty of the things stated above, but women have far greater tendencies toward showing them.</p> <p>&#160;</p> <p>Once again, I've worked with some great women for whom I've had the utmost respect for them and their abilities, which really is what matters the most. Over the years, I&#8217;ve developed some guidelines for coping with them at work:</p> <p>&#160;</p> <ol><li>Don't help them with anything or do anything more for them than you absolutely have to. No good deed goes unpunished - give them an inch and they'll take 5000 miles. Before you know it, you'll be doing her job in addition to yours.</li> </ol><p>&#160;</p> <ol start="2"><li>You're damned if you do something and you're damned if you don't - do, or don't do, whatever suits YOU the best and not THEM, because they'll find a way to bitch and complain about what you did or didn't do regardless of your good intentions.</li> </ol><p>&#160;</p> <ol start="3"><li>Never say anything to them more than you absolutely have to, with remaining mute being ideal - talking to them can be very much like being read the Miranda rights; anything you say CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU.</li> </ol><p>&#160;</p> <ol start="4"><li>Under no circumstances compliment them on ANYTHING - they will usually misconstrue that as you hitting on them, or you having some ulterior motive. They will also feel you are weak and easy, and proceed to trample on you any and every chance they get.</li> </ol><p>&#160;</p> <ol start="5"><li>Don't have sex with them, unless it's your last day there, or hers. If you do find Mrs. Right at work, one of you needs to get a new job somewhere else. Maintaining a sexual relationship with a co-worker leads to nothing but awkward situations and conflicts of interest, among many other things. If it doesn't work out, you can count on them to make endless trouble and undermine you and try to get you fired any way they can.</li> </ol><p>&#160;</p>


Benjamin Goldstein Added Dec 25, 2017 - 3:30pm
I agree and disagree to portions of this article.
Never saw this ingratitude. I also never had issues giving them compliments for their good work and don't see a sex difference when it comes to accepting culpability.
I think we must learn to decode women. You must know which woman is crazy and which isn't. I suspect you haven't got any sisters. Your experience with women is rather romantic with your relationship to your mother being the only exception. Just a guess.
Here are observations of mine that may or may not help:
- Both sexes have separate hierarchies. Women hang out with other women and are vicious fighters for status within their gender (cat fights).
- Wailing and whining is elevated by some women to an artform. It is for many their idea of humor. It raises their status in the female hierarchy while they hone the skill as a weapon against men and other women.
- Deceit is one big weapon. Men and women fight very differently. A fight between men is far more cultivated than a fight between women. This is simply because men have to fear physical consequences (or through evolution different strategies emerged along the lines). We grow up with a strong desire not to seriously enrage other males. Women aren't like this. They slander, hoax, whine to authorities, ostracise, and so on. There are no boundaries of cruelty. They are not conditioned that way. Not at all! That is why highschool is a hell for women. This is why the women of the extended (plus in-laws) family is a nightmare for women. They fight within their hierarchies without limits! When the workplace establishes an unusual hierarchy, men get to feel a sting that they don't know from conflicts with other males. This is why I get very wary about women leaders at the moment. They don't behave and men have no weapons to fight back because they grew up with calculatable fear and respect within their hierarchies. Men don't expect to be outcasted because of backstabbing and lies.
George N Romey Added Dec 25, 2017 - 4:33pm
Yes I agree with some of this. My biggest issue with millennial women is that they were sold this dream they can both be super
mom and corporate executive. The last women I worked with when faced with a long night of deadlines would take it out on me, her subordinate because she could when her husband would throw a hissy fit she wasn’t home to attend to her daughters.
Tamara Wilhite Added Dec 25, 2017 - 6:09pm
Couple of observations:
* You're right that many women are mean, cruel, vindictive, exclusionary.
I laugh at women who say that women are superior as managers because of some inherent emotion based superiority. Did you all forget middle and high school that fast? And the females who climb over others using the same reputation demolition and back-biting while everyone else tries to smooth things over, as if looking calm and together actually makes it so? This is worse in many ways than men's direct confrontations, because that tends to get matters resolved instead of festering.
* The fainting couch feminism is setting women back.
The "you have to censor the world so I don't freak out" plays into the worst stereotypes of women. And like BLM demanding segregation of whites for their emotional safety, they may find the public says "fine, you get your safe spaces, and because you want to be safe there, you aren't allowed out."
* The illogical double-speak again plays on women as stupid, as does the elevation of emotional reasoning (like other ways of knowing).
They alternate between "I'm empowered! I'm better!" to "I'm a weak wilting flower who needs to be protected, if you criticize me and what I do, you're a mean bully!"
You can't have equality and claim superiority at the same time, and bailey and motte arguments based on double meanings of words make you seem untrustworthy.
And before someone freaks out over this, I earned an engineering degree, managing Calculus 3, differential equations and linear algebra. I hate them saying that they can make decisions based on feelings, your logical presentation aside, and to question their feelings is to attack their sacred selves. This will get women demoted from decision making or over-run by stronger people who don't rely on your sympathy and approval to act.
* The pernicious erosion of rights under group rights
Identity politics is the combination of ideology and identity. "Real" blacks have to be liberal, so conservative blacks are excluded and abused. "Real" women per liberals' identity politics are liberal.
If you're a conservative women, they've been able to heap sexual and personal abuse on you for years and get away with it because you're either "not really a woman" or "a traitor". At best, you're told that you're ignorant or stupid - and I've been told this to my face when saying I'm not a fourth wave feminist. Uh, you just heard about my degree and profession, my IQ is probably 30 points higher than yours. Check your bias, girl.
Below is a ten year old article on this exact problem.

The Four Stages of Conservative Female Abuse
I understand that it feels like all women are toxic. No, they aren't. Conservative women are getting this crap and have for years.
Society has penned men as inherently bad, and men are treated as evil for challenging these elitist harpies.
I agree with Dr. Jordan Peterson - it is only conservative women who have the ability to challenge the liberal women, because the men aren't allowed to.
Tamara Wilhite Added Dec 25, 2017 - 6:11pm
TLDR - I'm a woman and the emotional labor liberal women force on everyone else is draining us AND undermines women's status in society.