A Taxi Ride Home

(Neil’s Note: This is the Darn-Poor Rhymer’s first “new” offering on WB. By which I mean, written this week rather than months or years ago. It’s to be sung to the Negro spiritual, “Swing low, sweet chariot.” To appreciate it fully, you really do need to sing it).


Last night, I’d been pub-walking.

Needing to get back home,

Weary and inebriated,

I took a taxi ride home.


I sat in a back seat of soft black leather;

This would be a comfy ride home.

I sat back and chatted with my Muslim driver,

As he took me for a taxi ride home.


My friend is an immigrant; why should I care?

He took me for a comfy ride home!

He did me a service, and treated me fair,

And that’s why I’ve written this pome.


We went up the hill, it’s one in seven;

A drumlin, some might say a dome.

I might well have suffered a heart attack,

If in that state I’d tried to walk home.


At the end of the ride, he stopped on the bend

That’s nearest to my home;

I paid him a few pounds; and that was the end

Of our contract. And I was home.


And yet, politicians are scheming to force us

To give up the easy way home;

And all of them want to steal our resources,

So we can’t afford to ride home.


Swing low, my taxi driver,

Coming for to carry me home!

I’ll relax in your back seat, and pay about a fiver

For you to take me home.


Benjamin Goldstein Added Jan 12, 2018 - 4:43pm
It's best appreciated, closing your eyes and visualizing how your taxi rumbles through the crowd of terror victims on the London bridge. Awesome! ;-)
Stone-Eater Added Jan 12, 2018 - 8:31pm
Thanks for that.
Neil Lock Added Jan 13, 2018 - 5:09am
Benjamin: There aren't enough people about at night on the streets in my part of the world to interest a potential terrorist...
Most of our immigrants here are Muslims, and they aren't bad people - at least, not the ones I deal with. And, as I've said several times before, it isn't fair to try to brand someone as bad just because of the religion they were brought up in. It isn't who you are that matters, only what you as an individual do.
Benjamin Goldstein Added Jan 13, 2018 - 5:16am
Most of our immigrants here are Muslims, and they aren't bad people.
That utterly belongs to how you like your sex. There are bad Muslim girls, bad, bad girls. I'm visualising again.
Even A Broken Clock Added Jan 13, 2018 - 11:00am
Neil, thanks for letting us know that your previous posts (as good as they are) represent cumulative work you've done. Looking forward to more of your contemporaneous posts.
Neil Lock Added Jan 13, 2018 - 11:30am
Broken Clock: Thanks for your support. But the Darn-Poor Rhymer only functions when (environ)mental conditions are right for him. Most of the time, that boring old fart Neil Lock is in control. :-) And even he often re-works his old material, just as Mozart and Beethoven used to...