PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

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PASS THE VODKA: NEWS BEFORE IT HAPPENS!

 

HOT BREAKING NEWS
Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables indicted by Mueller!

Washington D.C. …. like today’s date, 2018

 

The investigation into allegations that members of Donald Trump’s campaign staff as well as his present advisors are/were in cohorts with the Russians has been the top story. Until all the allegations of who grabbed who’s pussy and which breast was fondled by which actor, writer, minister, politician, and third grade principal became the dominate story of the messed-up-media!

 

And then all shit broke loose with “shitholes” and combined with pussy un-coverage and 18 hole golf courses and it appears we Americans are a little obsessed with orifices.

 

However here at TUBULARSOCK, “. . . first hand coverage, second hand news.” we just follow the leads that led to the leaders who have leverage their lean toward Moscow.

 

Editor note: Due to the controversial nature of this story and the possible view that we may have a conflict of interest covering Tubularsock, The Secretary of the Deplorables, the staff and management of Tubularsock, “. . . first hand coverage, second news” have provided our in-depth facts to a respected news source from London, The Daily Fail, the conservative news propaganda source and outraged sensational lurid and vulgar tabloid.

 

Washington, D.C. Today’s date, Alfred Queen reporting for the Daily Fail, London.

 

It has been reported that Trump’s Secretary of the Deplorables, Tubularsock, has been indicted by Robert Mueller for possible, almost, pretty close to involvement into Russian counterintelligence.

 

 

Immediately, President Trump came out in his typical full support of his Secretary of the Deplorables!

 

 

At a rapidly called press conference Secretary Tubularsock passed out the following press release indicating to all that he has NOT, in any way, been influenced by Russia as shown here and clearly expressed:

 

Тубуларсокк не знает каких-либо русских и не имел никаких взаимосвязанных с Россией вопросов, в том числе отказываясь использовать русскую одежду в своих американских салатах!***

 

Тубуларсокк никогда не рискнул бы своим верхним пропуском, чтобы как он, так и Джаред Кушнер, взяв наличными в небольшие немаркированные конфессии на стволе-головке для распределения на всей территории тубуларсокк с береговыми счетами.***2

 

(Tubularsock thanks his friend, the Russian Ambassador in Washington, D.C Anatoly Antonov for his assistance in translation even though Tubularsock emphasizes Tubularsock knows nothing about any assistance in translating or the Russian infused vodka-whore party at the embassy on February 23, 2016.)

 

Translations of above statements:

 

***Tubularsock does not know any Russians nor have had any dealings with Russia including refusing to use Russian Dressing on his American salads!

 

***2 Tubularsock would NEVER risk his top security clearance, that both he and Jared Kushner have, by taking cash in small unmarked denominations on the barrel-head for distribution throughout Tubularsock’s off shore accounts.

 

So it is clear that Mueller is putting the pressure on the Trump Administration by attempting to taint Trump’s closest advisor Secretary Tubularsock.

 

 

As Tubularsock says: “вы не можете быть более достойными, чем тубуларсокк!”***3

 

***3 “You can’t get more deplorable than Tubularsock!”

 

This is an on-going story and updates will be updated when updates are updated as long as no apple-carts are overturned!

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

Tubularsock Added Jan 14, 2018 - 9:27pm
Well in truth Tubularsock prefers Wild Turkey neat over Vodka but like any port in the storm if you know what Tube means!
 
Well, politically we as a country have been headed down hill for a very long time. Tubularsock has just settled in and is enjoying the ride.
 
Just maybe Tubularsock will call in another in-coming-atomic-attack on Hawaii for the fun of it.
 
It just shows that we weren't prepared for Orange-Tweet nor are we prepared when he pushes his BIGGER RED BUTTON.
 
 
Flying Junior Added Jan 15, 2018 - 4:04am
Better news would be if you participated in ignoring the monster.
 
This entire problem was brought about by the media's relentless attention.
 
Carry on, my friend.
Thomas Napers Added Jan 15, 2018 - 4:37am
The suggestion that Trump colluded with the Russians is only the top story on mainstream media outlets.  As for the rest of us, it’s a non-story and only perpetuated as a story so that liberals can cope with their loss.  If Sessions hadn’t of recused himself or Trump hadn’t of fired Comey, the story would have surely died long ago. 
 
As for pussy grabbing, it doesn’t surprise me one bit that a partisan hack like yourself would continuously bring it up.  As if any of us never said anything off-color in a private conversation. 
Stone-Eater Added Jan 15, 2018 - 8:16am
As usual superb article, but this time on a cold coffee subject.
 
Will we be hearing about The Bitch, Russian collusion and bad bad Russians in 2020 too ?
 
May news re-become NEWS :-)
Dino Manalis Added Jan 15, 2018 - 9:13am
Russians like to meddle, that's nothing new, but American voters are being offended when they hear the myth over and over that they were influenced by Russia.  People face serious economic and other problems and don't need this garbage!
Stone-Eater Added Jan 15, 2018 - 11:18am
Dino
 
Rrrright. And Americans don't meddle ? Maybe people should become aware that this meddling causes the problems they have -> "defense budget" for one ;-)
Bill H. Added Jan 15, 2018 - 11:37am
Tube - Maybe you could help fill all of those empty positions at the White House, such as Commander of Deportation Forces, Secretary of Russian Property Acquisition, Chief Offshore Drilling Coordinator, Director of Coal Quality, Head Scientist of the Department of Climate Modification, Chief Officer of Denial and Excuses, Director of the Department of Environmental Destruction, Secretary of Negative International Cooperation Degradation, Deputy of Nazi and Klan Relations, or that new position, Secretary of Norwegian Migration to name a few.
Dave Volek Added Jan 15, 2018 - 11:53am
Good call Bill. Tube, I need a better paying job!
 
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:26pm
Flying Junior, thanks for your comment. Tubularsock is confused about which “monster”, Dump, Mueller, or the Secretary of the Deplorables.
 
The bottom line is that we’ll PAY for what we get! Dearly!
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:27pm
Oh Thomas we “partisan hacks” like you and Tubularsock have all in “private” payed off Porn-Star Stormy Daniels a $130,000.00? Hell, we have all done that! Who hasn’t?
 
So “pussy grabbing” is old news for sure. And it certainly wouldn’t indicate a “personality flaw” now would it.
 
And as for coverage of anything negative about Dump, even when it is truthful, you’ll surely not see it in the conservative press. They too have their agenda and play to their piper!
 
Tubularsock thanks you for your comment.
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:28pm
Stone-Eater, thanks for your input. “NEWS” has always been gossip but now it is just instant. Unlike good coffee roasted to perfection news has never reached that level!
 
Oh yes, “The Bitch” ........ the Clinton's are as wrapped up in Russian affairs as much as Trump. It has nothing to do with “influence”!
It ALL has to do with MONEY investment! The “business dealings corruption” with Russians is where it is at.
 
Both the Trump’s and the Clinton’s are up to their chinny-chin-chins in it, enough so that if it all got exposed it would “blow their house down”!
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:29pm
Dino, Tubularsock agrees. But what American citizens SHOULD BE offended by is how their votes are “arranged” by the powers within our country not some fantasy-land-Russian influence.
 
As for economic and other problems these will just get worse. You can’t give the rich all the money and believe they’ll give ANY of it up!
 
Therefore they keep the focus on the Russians while the citizen should be watching their wallets!
 
Thanks for you comment, Dino.
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:30pm
Bill H. it is good to see you have Herculean-faith in Tubularsock’s abilities.
 
CONSIDER IT DONE!
Tubularsock Added Jan 15, 2018 - 2:31pm
Dave, no problem! Now usually Tubularsock sells his information but because you have lost you political campaign finance position because of Bitcoin Tubularsock will explain to you exactly what to do with your current day job.
 
You become a consultant specializing in the work you currently do.
 
Thereby you’ll be hired at FIVE times your current salary to explain to some other underpaid slob how to do his job!
 
Hey, it is done more often than you think. And your only start-up cost is the price of 100 business cards!
 
Don’t thank Tubularsock now! You get what you pay for!
Johnny Fever Added Jan 16, 2018 - 11:53am
Regarding your response to Dino,
 
Votes are not “arranged,” that’s just sour grapes over losing a can’t lose election.  The election, if you’re a liberal you might want to be sitting right now, was won by Trump fairly.  No Russian collusion occurred and no corporation, bought it for him.  Shocking as it may be, the American people chose him. 
 
The rich have never been given anything from the government.  What they have was earned or given to them from a rich relative.  Don’t believe me, note Trump’s/America’s progressive tax system, which taxes the rich at a higher rate than the poor. 
Tubularsock Added Jan 16, 2018 - 1:22pm
Johnny Fever, Tubularsock thanks you for taking the time to comment.
 
Johnny, the nature of our elections are based on the candidates PRE-chosen by the elite before the ballot box vote even happens.
 
Our Choices are limited by the power structure.
 
So by the time the candidates run “for their parties” the powerful don’t really care which one wins because their investments in the system are protected.
 
Trump, Clinton, Obama, Bush just different clowns at the same circus!
 
It is not Russia we have to worry about it is the owners of the country we need to worry about.

“The rich have never been given anything from the government.” Come on Johnny!
 
I guess you somehow aren’t willing to notice the banking bailout to the tune of billions of taxpayer dollars so the CEO’s could all get fat bonuses for gaming the system.
 
Or maybe you missed the corporate loopholes that rob the nation’s wealth for the few.
 
And who provides those loopholes? Welfare mothers?
 
NO! The same Presidents and Congress that have been bought and paid for to do the rich fuckers bidding.
 
Tax rate .......... first the rich have to pay their taxes not offshore their money!
 
But Johnny keep your head in the sand and think that your vote counts and the rich are doing their fair share. It is easier than waking up to the reality of how it works. Sweet dreams!
Katharine Otto Added Jan 16, 2018 - 5:45pm
Tubularsock,
Trump is such an easy target, but your humor still makes me laugh.  And Bill H. makes a great sidekick.  
 
Remember that money is not money in this economy.  It is debt.  Therefore, the rich hold more debt than anyone else.  Here's to your health.  Bottoms up.
Bill H. Added Jan 16, 2018 - 7:12pm
Tube-
I'll be happy to run as your V.P.
I learned from Pence how to sit in the background, nod my head in agreement constantly, and keep displaying that "lost in the ozone again" smile while silently repeating "
Hallelujah" to myself
.
 
 
I suggest that we include Margaret Cho as our Press Secretary. I'm sure she could convince anyone that even our worst mistakes and ideas are the best things to happen since sliced bread.
Tubularsock Added Jan 16, 2018 - 9:05pm
Kaharine, you are so correct about Trump as an easy target. But in truth Tubularsock finds it more difficult than easier to make light of all his shit.
 
At the bottom of it all Trump is a reflection of the worst aspects of our society and so many are still praising him for being so backward, regressive and fucking dumb.
 
That is really the funny part. Trump is way better at diverting the attention from the devastation he is reeking. And when these Trumpites find out what he is taking from them well ........ too late suckers.
 
Oh sure, the coal miners may, with help from Dump, bring back Black-Lung Disease but that’s about it.
 
Oh ok, polluted water and air is making a comeback as well.
 
And the citizens can be sick on their own dime as long as the President and Congress has a gold lined health plan for themselves, their staff and THEIR families.
 
Enough! Tubularsock digresses once again!
 
Glad you like the humor, Katharine. You are very kind.
Tubularsock Added Jan 16, 2018 - 9:07pm
Bill H., Tubularsock’s administration is stacking up very nicely. And this early! Amazing.
 
Dave and opher and Steve Bannon have all indicated interest in joining a hot and happening campaign. Steve seems to be between gigs right now, as you know. But he is a King maker!
 
And with cash being like no problem, hell we are on the cusp so we have to be careful of a back swing!
 
You Bill H. do have that perfect Pence far away look in your eyes that could be read as being deep.
 
And Margaret Cho, none better as Press Secretary and Presidential joke writer. Margaret and Tubularsock went to the same state university but Tubularsock being a bit smarter was there many years before Margaret showed up.
 
Later we had mutual friends but Tubularsock never met her. But that could all change now.
 
You are the force, Bill! Keep you light-saber dry!
Katharine Otto Added Jan 17, 2018 - 11:01am
Tubularsock,
I'm sure it's hard to make light of the prez, because I can tell you (and I) despise some of the things  he is doing, not to mention what he is saying.
Tubularsock Added Jan 17, 2018 - 12:01pm
Katharine, it does take ones breath away to have demonstrated for all the world to see just how low this country has become within a free-fall of delusion.
 
Tubularsock is not sure that we as a country will ever recover. There is absolutely no one of any integrity from any quarter that is on the horizon and of the two parties ...... fucking regurgitated corrupted garbage!
 
Cheers.
Johnny Fever Added Jan 18, 2018 - 12:24pm
I have no idea what you mean by “PRE-chosen by the elite.”  First of all, who are the elite?  Are you talking about the leaders in business and industry?  If so, that seems like a good group of people to convince to support one’s candidacy.  Or would you prefer candidates make their pitch to welfare queens? 
 
As evidenced by our last two presidents, our choices are unlimited.  Obama came from nowhere to become president.   Trump was a reality TV star, who never held elected position of any kind before becoming president.     
 
I think I know your type.  You’re the type that’s going to bitch no matter who’s pulling the reins of power.
 
Oh and by the way, the banks paid back their bailout money with interest. 
Stone-Eater Added Jan 18, 2018 - 12:58pm
Obama came from nowhere to become president.  Trump was a reality TV star, who never held elected position of any kind before becoming president.
 
And they were surely never paid, sponsored or protected, because to become prez you can be poor, not know anybody, but hell, the American Dream makes it possible.
 
Like here in Europe. Macron had a lucky win to get into Goldman Sachs.
 
Irony off ;-)
Bill H. Added Jan 18, 2018 - 3:20pm
Tubularsock - It appears "your type" is successful at striking a cord in brainwashed America, so it is even more important now that you seek election. It may even be possible that we can establish some type of reunification, simply by constantly reminding people how they are in the process of "getting it up the ass" as of late.
"People are saying......"
Tubularsock Added Jan 18, 2018 - 4:13pm
Hey Johnny, thanks again for your comments.
 
Well you know the “welfare queen” if there is such a thing just sucks off the tit at a lower level than the industrialist.
 
Our subject at hand is way too big to give it justice but Tubularsock will pinpoint a few issues to think about.
 
You do realize that the “potential candidates” ALL belong to the same club, right. And you and Tubularsock couldn’t get in the door. (Tubularsock is assuming here because Tubularsock doesn’t know you. And Johnny, you just might be a member of the elite slumming as a hobby in the affairs of WB but Tubularsock will take a chance that you are not.)
 
And you yourself have brought up one fundamental issue.
 
Just where did Obummer come from? A guy nobody had heard about except for a speech at the Democrap Convention pops up as a major candidate in the next round.
 
Or a total Idiotic Buffoon off a stupid egocentric TV show jumps to stardom with no political or social aptitude whatsoever.
 
Go figure.
 
Johnny, this IS a sign that ANYONE can be placed in the office for sure but NOT from that childlike promoted belief that “in America anyone can become President”.
 
All this shows you is that the Office of President is merely a manipulated position controlled by a monied and powerful elite. And as President or as a member of Congress you are placed into position to carry out the agenda you have been bought to produce!
 
That is why little changes except now the facade is breaking down and in time the old bread and circuses scenario will not cover the on going destruction.
 
But hey Johnny, there is an upside!
 
Tubularsock suggests that you invest in bodybag manufacturing and pitchfork production.
 
And you’d better hurry before Tubularsock corners the market!
 
Now lets jump to banking for just a brief summation.
 
As you stated, “Oh and by the way, the banks paid back their bailout money with interest.”
 
Oh Johnny, your ability at humor is overwhelming.
 
The only way the bankers could have paid back their debt to society was to be sent to prison for fifty years for their rape of the system!
(and you worry about welfare!)
 
The little “pay back” didn’t even cover their bonuses, for Christ sake!
 
And on top of that Goldman Sachs moved the White House into their downtown Manhattan Headquarters.
 
But Tubularsock does have a tip for you Johnny. Slot-machines at Vegas give the average citizen that votes better odds at winning than the ballot box.
 
Cheers Johnny. Thanks for taking the time to comment.
Tubularsock Added Jan 18, 2018 - 4:36pm
SEF, ohhh, that was irony. You fooled Tubularsock again!
Tubularsock Added Jan 18, 2018 - 4:38pm
Bill H. it does appear that the “Tubularsock type” does strike a cord but it seem like B-flat!
 
But Tubularsock attempts to end with an upbeat chorus that “. . . goes like this:
the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled (Tube) composing Hallelujah!”
 
Thanks for your hopeful thinking about the Presidency and Tubularsock would not even think that it might be about your interest as a possibility of become VP. Right?
Stone-Eater Added Jan 19, 2018 - 9:29am
Tube
 
SEF, ohhh, that was irony. You fooled Tubularsock again!
 
Sure, fool you. I guess you're about one of the least persons here one can fool. Fucking understatement, mate :-)
Stone-Eater Added Jan 19, 2018 - 9:37am
BTW:
 
I had a terrible experience today. I killed an ant which happened to get under my 200$ Nike Ultraspeed sneakers. I was shocked and it flashed my brain: NO ! I have to become Vegan ! Then I was aware of all the cars and noise on the street and decided: Never drive a car, those fumes kill the environment. Then I went home and wanted to wash my clothes and thought: NO ! That machine uses too much water and power, what a waste ! When I wanted to cook my spaghetti with some veggies (you know, neoVegan), I thought: NO ! All that power which comes from nuclear plants !
 
Then I decided to die....but ! The WOOD for my coffin comes from illegally deforested countries in Africa.
 
So I sat down was confused.
Tubularsock Added Jan 19, 2018 - 11:19am
SEF ..... what you have to do is EVERYTHING backward.
 
And don't ask, "how do I do that?" Because that is a frontward question!
Stone-Eater Added Jan 19, 2018 - 2:18pm
Tube
 
I can't register on your page without giving my most private life away !
Tubularsock Added Jan 19, 2018 - 6:20pm
Stone-Eater Friedli, that is just how the deep state works! Why change it now?
But Tubularsock sees you have worked out a way ............

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