We've all heard the rhetoric, the speeches, the pledges, the promises, and everything else that flows like a broken sewer line from a typical politician's scummy and septic mouth. We all know they're somewhere between pond scum and slime molds the size of entire counties, but what about their private conversations?
Trump is being raked over a bed of dung-fired coals over his "shithole" comment. That's the ONE thing I like about Trump, is that there's probably not a huge difference between his public and private utterances. Others, however, faked the funk very well. Anyway, here's a few snippets from some of my favorite ones, Democrat and Republican:
Lyndon Baines Johnson (D)
If the circumstances make it such that you can't fuck a man in the ass, then just peckerslap him. Better to let him know who's in charge than to let him get the keys to the car.
Ford's economics are the worst thing that's happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-fucking.
Fuck your parliament and your constitution. America is an elephant. Cyprus is a flea. Greece is a flea. If these two fleas continue itching the elephant, they may just get whacked good ...We pay a lot of good American dollars to the Greeks, Mr. Ambassador. If your Prime Minister gives me talk about democracy, parliament and constitution, he, his parliament and his constitution may not last long...
We have just lost the South for a generation. (After signing the 1964 Civil Rights Act)
Those stupid fucking sailors were shooting at a bunch of flying fish. (Referring to the Gulf of Tonkin incident)
A God-damned, third-rate, piss-ant country. (Referring to North Vietnam)
In addition to his other intimidating qualities, President Johnson allegedly had a Johnson that rivaled Milton Berle's, which he would wave around and show to willing and unwilling Presidential pecker checkers.
Richard Milhous Nixon (R)
You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana are Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it is because most of them are psychiatrists.
The Jews are irreligious, atheistic, immoral bunch of bastards.
I have the greatest affection for them [Negroes] but I know they're not going to make it for 500 years. They aren't. You know it, too. The Mexicans are a different cup of tea. They have a heritage. At the present time they steal, they're dishonest, but they do have some concept of family life. They don't live like a bunch of dogs, which the Negroes do live like.
There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape.
I'm not for women, frankly, in any job. I don't want any of them around. Thank God we don't have any in the Cabinet.
Despite his Quaker upbringing, The Nix didn't see God's other children the way he probably should have; the Watergate Tapes literally speak for themselves, with Tricky Dick using a vocabulary that easily could have inspired David Duke and Andrew Dice Clay.
So...is there anything new under the Sun? Really?