THE MISSIONARY POSITION

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THE MISSIONARY POSITION

 

Tubularsock was sittin’ around looking over the sophisticated political system of the United States and just wondered how one would teach 8th grade civics in today’s environment.

 

Well Tubularsock would work out a simple lesson plan for the students to understand how their political system works.

 

So first throw out all that bull shit about the “three branches of government” and get right down to the facts and Tubularsock can guarantee that Tubularsock’s class would be on the edge of their seats.

 

Name any 8th grade civics instructor who could EVER say that?

 

Tubularsock would first introduce Stormy Daniels and the Porn Star Party and their influence on the entire Executive Branch.

 

For example the “Vice” President’s job is to, well, explain “VICE”. And explaining that the current President of the United States liked to be SPANKED with a copy of Fortune 500 Magazine is just the beginning. And specifically a Fortune 500 Magazine with a picture of himself, his son and his daughter on the cover. (Hello, is Sigmund Freud in?)

 

The President of the United States likes to grab a woman’s pussy because women will let him because he’s IMPORTANT. (Oh, Sigmund. Thanks for taking Tubularsock’s call.)

 

And the President even compared Stormy to his daughter Ivanka. (Well, Sigmund this may take longer than that.)

 

 

Now you know how it goes. At least one student would raise their hand with a question.

 

But in this case they’d be a roomful of hands in the air and thus Tubularsock can guarantee that the students would have a difficult time splitting themselves between texting and paying FULL attention to Tubularsock’s lesson in progress.

 

At this point, Tubularsock would introduce the concept of the Constitutional position of Church and State. And of course Tubularsock would explain the “missionary position” to his students which according to what Stormy Daniels said, “The sex? “Nothing crazy. It was one position, what you would expect someone his age to do.”

 

So now that Tubularsock has summarized the President’s roll-in-the-hay so to speak Tubularsock will move on to Bible Thumpen’ Pence.

 

Sure, he is a right wing Christian which naturally breeds hypocrisy. That is what they have always represented. It is part of their belief system.

 

And Pence is perfect because he can’t even let himself have dinner alone IN A RESTAURANT with another woman, other than his wife, for fear of his “manliness” overtaking him and fucking her over his hot potato and hash! (at least in his sick little mind)

 

 

And “Mother”as he calls his wife (and this too, Sigmund) may even spank him with the Bible when he’s a naughty little fucker. And far be it for Tubularsock to know those details but according to officials who spoke on condition of anonymity in order to discuss internal protocol there are things we know and then there are things we don’t know and then there are things we know we don’t know.

THAT is one of THOSE things!

 

Well, just as it was getting to a natural climax the bell rings and just like Pavlov Dogs the well “trained” students march out of the room to their next class.

 

Education has always been about “training” stupid!

 

Learning,  you have to do on your own!

 

Comments

Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 1:05am
Attempting to have a "teachable moment" about the American Executive Branch of our government ......... A lesson plan for 8th grade civics from Tubularsock.
Thomas Napers Added Jan 24, 2018 - 3:53am
This article is exhibit A on why the public school system shouldn’t be teaching 8th grade civics.  It’s simply impossible to teach civics without the bias of the teacher tainting whatever lesson was intended.  It reminds me of a day I volunteered at an inner city school.  The moment I walked into the building there was a huge life-size cardboard cutout of Obama.  I said to myself, what are the chances Bush was there before Obama?  Answer…zilch.  It also reminds me of the time a teacher berated a student for expressing his opinion that differed from hers. The incident was taped.  What is astounding about the tape is that, like you, she had no idea she was totally wrong.  Clip linked below:
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cvo6QfJU35w
opher goodwin Added Jan 24, 2018 - 6:50am
Thomas - it doesn't appear to have any bias what-so-ever to me! Tub is always spot on right down the middle. I mean, you have to be with the missionary position don't you?
Dave Volek Added Jan 24, 2018 - 11:34am
Thomas
Your issue could be resolved if more people of the right-thinking ideology would somehow find teaching a career choice. For some reason, they kind of stay away from that occupation.
Dave Volek Added Jan 24, 2018 - 11:35am
Tubularsock
What about the things we don't know that we should know?
 
 
Bill H. Added Jan 24, 2018 - 11:48am
 
Opher - Seems that many on the extreme Right appear to focus their entire attention span to politics. Virtually every thought or observation they have tends to key up a political cause, excuse, or justification.
I have some lifelong friends that I go fishing with who have fallen into this abyss over the last few years, and I am having second thoughts about continuing to hang with them in the future. I never discuss politics on fishing trips or hikes, as in my mind being in nature is a positive experience that should not be tarnished by this subject. These friends I am referring too seem to not miss a beat, and constantly spin virtually any discussion into a political fiasco. This includes discussions about the weather, trees, stocking fish in streams and lakes, and one that almost got our group banned from a lake last year, the outlawing of 2-cycle outboard motors from a chain of local high-country lakes, which got one of the guys in the group into a frenzy of finger pointing and vulgar language usage in the presence of some children.  
opher goodwin Added Jan 24, 2018 - 11:58am
Bill - it's a pervasive mindset I believe. There is a particular American twist to it too. While racism has a big part to play, along with arrogance and a sense of superiority, there is an American attitude of complete freedom - as if society is a hindrance, laws are a restriction of rights and freedoms and taxation is theft. I call it the John Wayne syndrome. They want to be in the Wild West again. They imagine themselves riding the plains without laws, restrictions or encumbrances and just the security of their three hundred fire-arms.
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:29pm
Thomas, Tubularsock thanks you for your comment.
 
Tubularsock knows EXACTLY what you mean about the President’s picture in the schools!
 
Tubularsock once walked into a public school in the suburbs and saw a huge American Flag with the life-size cardboard cutout of George Bush with a recruiting table for the Marines.
 
Of course Tubularsock was shocked! Using the schools as a recruitment tool for the military? What will they think of next?
 
And take Tubularsock’s word for it ....... if any student rejected the missionary position for straight up anal sex Tubularsock WOULD NOT berate that student for their position!
 
The point is to discuss a variety of views not to dictate one view over another, Thomas.
 
So it appears we are in agreement.
 
Tubularsock is sure that now you’ll stand with Tubularsock in throwing the military out of the public schools and standing up for the individual’s RIGHT to any sexual position consenting adults come up with to perform.
 
Thanks again Thomas for your comment. And really ...... you are too fun!
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:29pm
Dave, “What about the things we don't know that we should know?”
Feel FREE to want to know them! That is what Democracy is all about!
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:30pm
Now Bill, Tubularsock doesn’t want to get into a huge argument here but by outlawing 2cycle outboard motors on high-country lakes there would be no high whine put-put sounds to be heard!
 
What better sound to hear in the great outdoors than a high whine sound echo between peaks to know you are not alone! Some things are necessary to feel secure!
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:31pm
Oh YES, give Tubularsock that ol’ “John Wayne syndrome”, opher.
 
Tubularsock EVERY MORNING looks in the mirror and practices, “This Town Isn’t Big Enough For The Two Of Us.” And then rides off on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) into the West. Or at least West of Oakland, CA!
Dave Volek Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:32pm
Bill & Opher
 
If there is a value that western democracy has inculcated in all of us, it that our opinions are far superior to those who disagree with us. When we see the party leaders calling each other foolish, inept, and corrupt, this psyche creeps into us as well. I often have to pull myself up when I fall into this trap.
 
Bill, I really feel for your position. I have family members where I have to be very careful at what I say and keep my mouth shut when they spout off about something that sounds a little silly to me. Anything that sounds contrary to them is a good reason for estrangement.
 
The current dialogue emanating from our political system is actually preventing many positive relationships from forming and flourishing. Another reason to change the system from western democracy to the TDG.
 
 
Bill H. Added Jan 24, 2018 - 12:41pm
 
Tube - The reason they banned 2-cycle engines was to eliminate the ever-present oil slick on these lakes, and it worked great within just a few months.
 
Dave - I have personally witnessed multiple incidents where a couple had divorced because of their political leanings just last year, and multiple incidents of family relatives being disbanded after holiday get-togethers.
 
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 1:18pm
Bill H, just what is wrong with pre-oiled fresh fish? Seems that they'd be better to fry to Tubularsock.
 
And that sheen on the lake as the sun hits in the morning. Can beauty get any better?
 
 
opher goodwin Added Jan 24, 2018 - 1:32pm
I could tell that Tub - you are John Wayne! At least a reincarnation - or a carnation? I just got a whiff. Definitely not a carnation. You've been out on the trail for some while, I guess. That's the smell of a man!
Bill H. Added Jan 24, 2018 - 1:58pm
Tube - You do have a valid point concerning frying the fish.
Maybe someone could develop a 2-cycle engine that burned olive oil or Wesson Oil.
Dave Volek Added Jan 24, 2018 - 2:01pm
Opher
No, Tubularsock has been, is, and will always be a tubularsock. There is no other sock like him. The mold has been broken and no replication is possible.
 
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 4:13pm
opher, as Roy Roger used to sing,
because John Wayne couldn’t:
 
“Some trails are happy ones,
Others are blue.
It's the way you ride the trail that counts”
 
Roy said nothing about manly smells mixed with horse shit however.
 
“Happy trails to you,
Until we meet again.”
 
It’s only Tubularsock horsing around.
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 4:14pm
Bill H. not a bad idea at all but Tubularsock read somewhere that at times outdoors-men use Smith and Wesson. Would that work?
Tubularsock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 4:14pm
Dave, there may be a thread of truth in what you said about Tubularsock’s socky appeal.
 
But it may all have to do with the fact that Tubularsock was immaculately conceived.
 
No fuck! Literally!
Even A Broken Clock Added Jan 24, 2018 - 10:08pm
Tube - is there any truth to the rumor that you were conceived when a tube sock that was used as a contraceptive device, failed? Enquiring minds want to know.
Tubularsock Added Jan 25, 2018 - 1:01am
Even A Broken Clock, according to the officials who were not authorized to discuss personnel matters publicly and spoke on condition of anonymity have said that a tight thread count does have “some” contraceptive principles but a tight rubber band placed on the member along with the tight thread count would serve the purpose.
 
In Tubularsock’s case, it is believed that the “hand of God” was involved. But cum on, who can say at a time like that?
 
Thanks for inquiring minds.
Dave Volek Added Jan 25, 2018 - 6:56am
Immaculate conception!
 
What a great line to get the evangelical vote!
 
 
Johnny Fever Added Jan 25, 2018 - 9:36am
If not schools, where would you have the military look for new recruits?
Stone-Eater Friedli Added Jan 25, 2018 - 11:28am
Tube
 
69 is the good position. It gets you right into 42 :)
 
Stone-Eater Friedli Added Jan 25, 2018 - 11:31am
BTW
 
I got 3 times 6 in my final exam - in German, French and English. Best note = 666. I called Aleister and he said: Son, concentrate on 69. Because you will get the rest much easier. The woman will add up to the rest :)
 

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