The sad, slow and ugly death of the media

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Gazette was an extraordinary woman. One of those rare, brazen Amazons who was only too pleased to flout her wanton dalliances. Never a walk of shame for this lady the morning after, no sir. Many called her a whore, mostly behind her back; sometimes more directly. She would take these in stride. She knew what she liked and she knew how to get it. If that made her a whore why was that a bad thing?


Gazette carried with her all of the other virtues that actually mattered. The correct public morality for those crucial social hot buttons like LGBT equality, sustainability and income inequality. For whatever her personal failings, Gazette was without question a paragon of civic virtue. She was cool, confident, no wilting lily, yet she was always advertising. Always signaling to those prospective suitors within her orbit that she could be had, but only if you told her what she wanted to hear.


Beneath that facade of perfect nails and teeth, those bleach blonde tresses and silicon implants, there lived an insecure little girl. Gazette needed to be the center of attention. She needed to hear people tell her how pretty she was, how clever, how just perfect her little world. With every breath she drew she needed to be able to say “ oh, it’s so good to be me”. Absent this constant affirmation she would become plagued with self doubt and then find more and outrageous means of gaining attention. It had become a vicious cycle.


Over time it became widely known within her select breeding circle that everyone present had already had a good run at her. It didn’t stop them from coming back for more, when she would have them, but she became aware that over time their numbers seemed to diminish. More and more of them had wandered, finding the attentions of younger, fresher faces more appealing. Her insecurities rose, spurring her to nudge her boundaries further and further into strange new realms. Showing up in the office wearing nothing but heels and a thong below the waist. She still could carry it off well enough for everyone to look, but she was unaware that the talk around the water cooler was all hushed whispers of what none dared to tell her: she really should not be wearing that!


She became obsessed with mirrors then. When no others would flock to admire her, when no submission or depravity could longer serve to entice them to her altar, her vanity swelled to compensate her bruised ego. It was a sad spectacle. Her eyes had grown so sensitive that she could no longer bear the sight of anyone but herself. Her ears had grown so delicate that only the soft cooing of her self adulation could be tolerated. She descended into this pathetic ennui, completely incapable of extracting herself from the morass. For a time it was considered that she might just wither away there.


In Gazette’s universe all defeat is only temporary, no humiliation so horrid as to be career ending. Old whores never die. They just find a new kink. Enter the Pencilneck. He wasn’t much to look at. She never really paid much attention to him, just one of thousands of emasculated betas that populated her realm. Yet all of the sudden, when she was really down, he was there. He was everywhere! It was clear in a very short span of time that this man would do anything to gain and hold her attention. Despite his physical shortcomings his persistence won her over. Having been starved for a time of the level of adoration to which she’d grown accustomed, what had initially been creepy eventually was seductive.


The two became inseparable. Within months there was no finding one without the other being there or close behind. This was blossoming into something more than mere lust. Gazette and Pencilneck had found true love at last. For you see Gazette had found her new kink and Pencilneck was happy to indulge her. Gazette had discovered the empowering rush of pegging. The first time she saddled up it was liberating. It really was the correct physical manifestation of the underlying dynamic of their relationship. In the absence of the proper anatomy love found a way, with the aid of lubricants and injection molding.


Pardero Added Mar 10, 2018 - 12:11pm
The Burghal Hidage,
I should be embarrassed to admit that I looked up a word, just in case the context had failed me.
This appears to be a contemporary Fractured Fairy Tale for adults.
The icky factor and modern setting aside, this would do Aesop proud. 
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 10, 2018 - 12:17pm
I'm proud you had to look it up
Leroy Added Mar 10, 2018 - 1:52pm
I have to admit to looking up the term as well.  I should have been familiar with it.  The government has been shoving it up our rears for a while.  We become numb to it after a while.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 10, 2018 - 2:01pm
Except the government version comes without lubricant
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 10, 2018 - 2:02pm
or a reach around. Selfish pricks!
Pardero Added Mar 10, 2018 - 2:25pm
Too funny!
Spartacus Added Mar 10, 2018 - 6:34pm
I had to not only look up Burghal Hidage . . . . <pegging>
Now, this article makes more sense.  Brilliant Burghal.  
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 12:22am
Thanks William
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 6:37am
 The media has never been honest, not since the banks took over. The same folks who own the banks own the media. People have thought what they wanted people to think, the idea of looking at evidence and forming an opinion based on the evidence without watching TV and getting the opinion of the newscaster is foreign to most people. People need to be given opinions and instructed on which one to choose.
  The destruction of faith in the media is a planned event, just like the destruction of faith itself, education, etc.
  An ex KGB agent explains exactly that what's and why's of everything: Psychological subversion of society
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 6:37am
Good story BDH
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 6:46am
BTW: The first quote, from Putin is something people may find offensive. Skip a minute or so into this lecture you you are afraid of the whole truth.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 6:56am
Doug - thanks for reading and your comments.
You are one scary dude, seriously. There are times when you make sense. And then there are other times where I'm not sure what tangent you are on. Probably a number of people who would say the same about me. Don't believe either one of us will lose any sleep over that
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 7:01am
I don't buy into the whole international jewry-communist-anti-faith narrative. I do not contradict your general assertion, but the sinister cabal, generations long, international conspiracy....I'm sorry man, but thats where I get off the bus
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 7:04am
People need to be given opinions and instructed on which one to choose.
here is a good example. If by this you mean that it is the situation we have now then I agree. Or, are you saying that is what needs to happen? If so, then you are welcome to please remain in Canada. We have enough of that type here now
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 7:35am
re "If by this you mean that it is the situation we have now then I agree."
That's it. See the speech I linked, he talks about all of this.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 7:55am
Maybe later Doug. It probably just affirms what I already know to be true: the media are whores
Not upscale, well maintained whores like our girl Gazette. No, we're talking black-toothed, east Kentucky, meth skank kind of whore, right down to the tatooed sleeves hiding the track marks. The kind of whore that, if you be a man of conscience, you would not even screw with someone else's junk.
No, Gazette is just a caricature. The sad mistress, pining after the loss of her relevance, has been degraded into a cruel mockery of womanhood. She has, however, retained her tastes for eunuchs. 
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 8:44am
Doug - Sorry, I owe you better. I don't always get you, but you are a consistent contributor and a man who is clearly comprised of some substantial grey matter.
I believe that in many respects you and I may be sending much of the same message. While I can (and have) jump into the arena of debates of a more scholarly nature, my experience with this tells me that this is largely futile. Scholars have a sad tendency to know what they know at the exclusion of all else.
For me, my best hope of getting people to perhaps reconsider some things is through humor. Every once in a while you catch some unsuspecting soul who is ripe for the accidental discovery. Maybe they're hung over, maybe they forgot their meds, maybe they're over-medicated, whatever their story may be, there are those out there who have yet to ingest the full dosage of kool-aid. If I disgust them, anger them, make them laugh, make them cry, anything but bore them, there is hope. 
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 8:45am
Or you can do it your way :) Just be you, man. 
Pardero Added Mar 11, 2018 - 9:35am
The Burghal Hidage,
That was a thoughtful reply to Doug. We are on the same side. Kudos and salute.
wsucram15 Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:02am
Interesting perspective on the empowerment of a woman. 
Come on TBH, you can go about the cuckhold?
Really? This is how men perceive empowerment..too funny. 
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:24am
Jeanne - you are reading entirely too much into it
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:26am
this was written to neither empower nor to disparage women
Neil Lock Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:26am
A most interesting analysis. Not surprising that Gazette became the butt of jokes in the office. But it amuses me that no-one so far has remarked upon the title of the article.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:27am
I don't pretend to know anything about the empowerment of women, and to be brutally honest, don't care to either. Everybody has their own head trip
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:28am
Nothing personal. Just not one of my hot buttons at the moment
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:29am
Neil - Are you suggesting that the players are somehow ambiguous? Say it ain't so, Joe!
Dave Volek Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:32am
Another well written piece. Here are a few comments from this reader:
1) Without "media" in the title and your political leanings that I have garnered about you on WB, I probably would just regarded this as a nice short story about a whore.
2) I was able to follow your symbolism up to ". . . she really should not be wearing that!" After that you lost me.
3) I really didn't get the symbolism behind "pencilneck". 
4) From other comments, I deemed there was a mysterious word in this piece. I figured it was "pegging", so I looked it up and found a journalistic definition. I really could not understand why this journalistic tool is so bad. But maybe that is not the mysterious word!
I assume that you are symbolizing about the  mainstream media and its former dominance, then comparing it to the fractured media of today. If indeed it could be summarized as a whore (and there is some justification for this symbolism), what would have been a better alternative for the media in those times? And is the current situation any better?
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:38am
Come on Dave! You don't have any anarcho-libertarian terrorists in Canada? A pity!
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:40am
on your second question:  She shows up to the office wearing only heels and a thong from the waist down. ..... i.e. the talk about the water cooler was "OMG...can you believe she wore that!?".....
get it now?
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:42am
the pencilneck refers to (as I'm sure American readers would know) id California Representative Adam Schiff. He's grabbed so many microphones and cameras in the past year that he has a permanent pass into the broadcast facilities of every major network
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:44am
The media could try being objective, honest. otherwise a free press is anything but free.
Dave Volek Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:56am
What I got from the "thong" part was that back in the 1950s and 1960s, there were certain things the media would not talk about (like JFK's many affairs). There seemed to be barriers everywhere. Then, nothing was sacred anymore. Everything was talked about. Anyways that's the symbolism I am seeing.
Yep, the pencilmark was outside my realm. I'm might have seen Mr Schiff in my brief forays on American news channels, but there are so many talking heads . . . .
A media that is completely "objective and honest" is probably a media that can't raise enough advertising dollars to support itself.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:57am
Sadly true on your last point
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 11:58am
And thus the rise of the 'alternative' media
Pardero Added Mar 11, 2018 - 12:17pm
It is a brilliant allegory that hipsters should find accessible, though not necessarily enjoy.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 12:23pm
Ok, you got me worried now, Pard. I was really going for that hipster market. Damn!  Those are the guys with the man-buns, right?
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 12:23pm
Is there some hipster sensitivity training I should look into?
Pardero Added Mar 11, 2018 - 12:44pm
I gotta go make some filthy lucre. See ya later.
Ian Thorpe Added Mar 11, 2018 - 2:37pm
Given that several people confessed to having looked up pegging, it's a good thing ol' Gazette did not take a trip on the Dutch Reverse Steamboat. They might be hard pressed to find that one even online.

Given the way circulation figures are heading however, there's always a possibility the old girl will get there.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 2:49pm
That and the old Cleveland Steamer! LOL
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 3:08pm
Thanks for your comments BH, Pardero. Really my point is that we are all being given the Steamer, Jews and non Jews alike.
(If you don't know what a Cleveland Steamer is, look it up, its an image you won't be able to forget)
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 3:08pm
Humour is a good way to get to "them".
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 3:23pm
Intellectually, I'm really just an average bear. I've gotten too close to this monster that surrounds us too often and had to put a maximum effort into understanding it for a long time, else go crazy. Doing this has given me an education and it has given me what an education should be.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 4:44pm
Wasn't it Twain? something like " a wise man doesn't let an education get in the way of his learning" ? :)
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 11, 2018 - 4:56pm
Signing out for a while gang. I need to go see a man about a rocket launcher. If you haven't heard from me by tomorrow afternoon there may have been... complications, shall we say
Doug Plumb Added Mar 11, 2018 - 5:26pm
re "Wasn't it Twain? something like " a wise man doesn't let an education get in the way of his learning" ? :)  "
  Absolutely true - I read old law and philosophy but am also guided by the experience of others in the detax movement on youtube. I've been doing this for more than ten years.
  Back in Twains day education was formal, not at all practical. Sometimes (very rarely) formal does not explain truth as we experience it in practice. More formal learning is the anecdote for this if your eye is on the long term. But if your project is due next week....I think this is what Twain meant.
  I'm not an experimenter, I like to know exactly what I am doing before I do it. I'm usually not smart enough to deal with surprises that come along. I learn from experience of others - something Twain or anyone from his day had little access to compared to today.
  So as a wise man at laws- and I am that, I see the errors people have been making in the detax movement, a direct consequence of a lack of formal learning. Knowledge of the law helps me see errors people make in political analysis.
  But I am just an average bear, intensely focusing on this problem for a very long time and at great personal and monetary expense. The knowledge was worth it, and it wasn't easy or more available to me as a higher IQ person because I am not that.
  The press misleads people in more than just lies, it manipulates the standard we require for truth. There is always another layer in the onion. The final layer always shows a deep manipulation of the thought process itself.
re "Signing out for a while gang. I need to go see a man about a rocket launcher. If you haven't heard from me by tomorrow afternoon there may have been... complications, shall we say"
Good luck, but if you succeed we will have a bigger ball of shit to deal with than we do now.
Pardero Added Mar 12, 2018 - 1:54am
The Burghal Hidage,
You do not need one of those devices!
Pardero Added Mar 12, 2018 - 1:58am
Doug Plumb,
This an alarming development. I hope he is just goofing off. It is just like something Hunter S. Thompson would do. What could be more Gonzo than a rocket launcher?
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 12, 2018 - 6:09am
Damned Soviet era trash! After risking life and limb in the quest I've been left unfulfilled! I'll have to improvise. Some time in the not too distant future, there may be a ready pool of former FBI men to tap for some work which requires a certain moral flexibility. That could help; there may be some NorKo channels opening soon..........
Pardero Added Mar 12, 2018 - 6:17am
You got me laughing and I need to be falling asleep! 
Perhaps 'moral flexibility' on my resume could make mine stand out to a potential employer. Honest but not fanatically so.
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 12, 2018 - 6:22am
Sleep is over rated. I've slept a third of my life and it's got me nowhere :)
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 12, 2018 - 8:07am
For  any who may still be struggling with the whole "pegging" thing, I will again cite the sage wisdom of the Shameless series' very own Francis Gallagher. Feel free to review the video for an exact quote, but if I may paraphrase: "If God didn't mean for us to shove things up our asses he would given the sphincter a gag reflex"
The R-rated version would have Gazette strapped with Pencilneck on her lap, bearing the brunt as it were, but with the actual insertion obscured by a strategically placed blanket. A bold new venture in infotainment, "Adult Trans-ventriloquism", an equally apt medium of expression. Gazette feeds it then Pencilneck excretes it. Let's be honest. Isn't that pretty much what has gone in in this long and tawdry exhibition between Schiff and in particular CNN? Oh shit, I named names! Here come the black helicopters..........
Leroy Added Mar 12, 2018 - 8:53am
"Signing out for a while gang. I need to go see a man about a rocket launcher."
The meeting with Kim must have went well... ;)
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 12, 2018 - 9:02am
Ah, you perceptive so-and-so! You see through to my purpose!
Ian Thorpe Added Mar 12, 2018 - 10:38am
On education, there's a very good like in Terry Pratchett's novel Dodger. The title adolescent character, who may or may not have been 'Artful' in a previous incarnation, is a Tosher, a person who scavenges in and under the gutters of London for a living. He has no formal scholong but is street smart, as Pratchett put it, "While others were in school getting educated, Dodger was in the streets learning stuff, there's a big difference."
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 12, 2018 - 3:43pm
well stated. I'll need to look into that one,Ian. Thanks!
Stone-Eater Added Mar 13, 2018 - 8:32am
I admit this article goes way over my many expressions and words I don't know so the whole thing is kind of a mystery to me at first glance. But I bet it's a good one seeing the responses on it...
And I thought I knew English well enough LOL
Stone-Eater Added Mar 13, 2018 - 8:33am
BTW: Mann, kannst du nicht so schreiben, dass es ein Dämel wie ich versteht ? ;-)
The Burghal Hidage Added Mar 13, 2018 - 12:50pm
's tut mir leid, Freund. So geschreibt als das Larm des Thompson, der ikonischer Gonzo 
Stone-Eater Added Mar 13, 2018 - 4:25pm
??? Keep English ;-) Thompson Gonzo ? 
But this
a wise man doesn't let an education get in the way of his learning
is the bonmot of the day. So true !