The Trump Temp Agency

My Recent Posts

After the latest firing of a high-ranking Cabinet officer, in this case, the highest-ranking one, I thought that Trump is actually on to something to further diversify his global empire, as if being the POTUS isn't enough: Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce the Trump Temp Agency!!!

 

Although there are no minimum qualifications, people who are amoral real estate developers and/or defraud Girl Scouts out of their cookies will be given special consideration. Unskillful use of social media is also important, not to mention a demonstrated inability to work and play well with others.

 

The dress code is of course all business, however, males must wear underwear that says on the back side "EXIT ONLY", while females, while recognizing the occasional need for their cotton ponies at certain times of the month, must wear crotchless panties at all times, in order to facilitate the infamous "six-pack" grip.

 

Much safety gear and other equipment is required: Face shields, ear plugs, steel-toe boots, helmets, ballistic vests, body armor, gas masks, pistols, rifles, machine guns, grenade launchers, flamethrowers, tanks, aircraft, etc etc....oh, and by the way, YOU are going to pay for all of that stuff, too.

 

There are also plenty of fringe benefits, if you consider being on the lunatic fringe beneficial. And, if you DARE ask me for a raise, I'm going to tell you in the most annoying, nasal, New York, Elmer Fudd-like accent that, "Yow're Fowerd!" (Translation: "You're fired!")

Comments

Autumn Cote Added Mar 14, 2018 - 3:36am
With an assurance you will be responsive to your commenters, I'll send this article out in one of my marketing emails.  
Flying Junior Added Mar 14, 2018 - 4:51am
Michael,
 
You don't have to respond to my comment.  You and I are okay.  I just have to add something.
 
It's not trivial or funny to me.  I know, I'm always so dead serious, as if Trump becoming our president is somehow the end of the world.  Of course, human life will probably continue for at least another forty or fifty years.  I don't want to be an alarmist,
 
I just want to say a couple of words in defense of the unlikely hero, Rex Tillerson.  I thought the same thing as everybody else.  The monster appoints the CEO of Exxon as SOS.  Shades of Dick Cheney appointing an oil guy to head up the FERC.  Not a big surprise.  The real surprise turned out to be that Tillerson was a decent, intelligent American who just happened to care about the status of the United States in the eyes of the world.
 
That's not something that Trump was looking for.
 
I saw it very early on.  Tillerson was honored to be appointed SOS.  Right away he became  a moderating influence on the Trump administration.  He just kept on making noises about carefully protecting the reputation of the U.S.A.  He seemed so adamant not just to throw it all away just for the sake of angering a political opponent.  If I didn't know better, I would suggest that a silly liberal like Tillerson might have found a better fit with a democratic administration from the 1950s or 1960s.  He just seems to be too nice.  When was the last time you heard him say anything stupid or dangerous?  Never.  Right?  Not a good fit for Trump.
 
Okay, it's hard to remember.  But I can guarantee you that I don't remember him doing anything at all that was reckless, rash or ill-advised.
 
No wonder he didn't really fit in with the Trump thing.
 
Can you even believe that the monster told Rex Tillerson and the world that Tillerson was fired via Twitter?
 
I don't believe it either.  Finally a verifiable example of fake news.  No sitting president would fire his SOS publicly on twitter instead of calling him for a one-on-one meeting.  Is it just me?
Pardero Added Mar 14, 2018 - 5:56am
Michael B.
Tillerson is a decent man, although a moderate. His replacement, Pompeo, is an evil s.o.b. Pompeo is a twisted neo-con. Trump has picked a former torture chamber operator for CIA director. I'm beginning to wonder. I know you are just making fun of the cluster romance in this administration, but I am beginning to worry.
Maybe Trump is just pissed off that he lost a gorgeous babe like Hope Hicks. Munchkin's trophy bride is still around, though. It is turning into a clown show. Luckily, the libs are running an even bigger clown show.
At this point, I don't know who would bother taking a job in this administration.
Michael B. Added Mar 14, 2018 - 6:46am
@ AC - Sorry Autumn! I'm off for another marathon work session! I posted this while it was still fresh in my head, but I'll be gone again for the next couple of days. Thanks anyway!
Michael B. Added Mar 14, 2018 - 6:48am
FJ and Pardero - I think the taxpayers should make it all complete. A revolving door on the White House, and the Statue of Liberty should be modified to be giving everybody the finger, lol. Thanks for your comments!
George N Romey Added Mar 14, 2018 - 7:12am
Well even now the White House is following the corporate trend of jobs being temporary, contract, and gig in nature.
Even A Broken Clock Added Mar 14, 2018 - 10:14am
Michael - you beat me to it. The concept of hiring White House personnel through a temp agency had occurred to me, but you already did the number on it. Good job.
opher goodwin Added Mar 14, 2018 - 11:08am
Well obviously what this thread needs is a limey input. 
I have two observations:
Firstly, that revolving door could be connected up to the grid to supply Washington with free electricity.
Secondly, it is a shame the top spot isn't subject to the same temp criteria. That would solve a lot of problems both for the States and the rest of us.
I wish you hadn't said about the Statue of Liberty. He just might take that up. 
Bill H. Added Mar 14, 2018 - 1:24pm
 
I was certainly no fan of Tillerson being appointed to his position, but he seemed to be the only one left in the WH with half a brain.
James Travil Added Mar 14, 2018 - 4:58pm
This article reads like a Tubularsock post, damn funny! It's hard not to see the humorous side of this story and much of the Trump regime. What this country needs is an independent moderate president, like in the TV show Designated Survivor.
Tubularsock Added Mar 14, 2018 - 6:08pm
Michael B. Tubularsock believes that you have hit a perfect solution to unemployment in the U.S.
 
Being employed just long enough to get you on the unemployment benefits list but still look that Republican respectable bit.
 
You have covered it all so well .............
 
 
George N Romey Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:05am
Maybe Trump could take all of the unemployable 50s something’s with fancy degrees and give them a temporary assignment in the WH. For example one could be SOS for a month or so.
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:51pm
@ George - Leadership by example if I ever saw it, lol!
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:51pm
@ EABC - What can I say? Great minds think alike, huh! LOL
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:51pm
@ Opher - It is even MORE obvious to me that the LAST thing this thread needs is ANY input from ANYBODY not from the USA! However, I'll play nice and say that I got a chuckle from your idea of generating electricity! See, I try not to be a total asshole, lol!
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:52pm
@ Bill H. - To be honest, I haven't, and probably will not spend too much time investigating Trump's Cabinet, or any other one for that matter, but to his credit, he seemed to have made the least waves, but that's what he deserves for being a cashew in a peanut gallery, huh, lol!
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:52pm
@ James T. - Thanks James! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:54pm
@ Tubular Sock - I'm honored that I finally got a favorable comment from you, lol! James T. put me in the same league as you, which I considered to be a high compliment, lol! I wonder how Trump would react if I said, "Hey Mr. President! What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbonzo? Would you pay $1000 to see a garbonzo?" In a page out of Monty Python, maybe he would ask, "An American chickpea or a Russian chickpea?" I also thought he could set up a new business in Las Vegas called "Trump's Rumps", staffed by women who do everything from the most depraved sex acts possible to using men as pull toys and employing dominatrices to beat them while screaming "You're FIRED!!!" over and over at the top of thier lungs, lol!
Michael B. Added Mar 15, 2018 - 9:55pm
@ George - Have someone in mind there, George? LOL
Tubularsock Added Mar 16, 2018 - 3:22am
Michael B., Tubularsock is honored to have been honored by your honor let alone being honored by even having a league!
 
You are very kind.
 
Now you have Tubularsock wondering what a garbonzo does see.
Damn, Tubularsock hates these challenges!