Recently I was speaking with someone and I mentioned, only half-jokingly, that if I wrote “Mary Had A Little Lamb,” I would be viciously attacked from all sides of PC thuggery within milliseconds. I can almost hear it:
“Oh, Mary? It had to be a woman, huh? Sexist pig!”
“Was Mary’s original name Douglas? Homophobic pig!”
“Oh, you couldn’t have picked a brown, yellow, or black lamb, could you? Racist pig!”
“When Mary goes to school, are you going to make her pay for her own lamb care, in addition to tuition, aren’t you? Conservative pig!”
“Are you going to try to get the lamb to pledge allegiance to the flag? Fascist pig!”
Modern political correctness is destroying our society, right down to the nursery rhymes. I thought I’d take a PC-like crack at the first couple of lines of this oldie-but-goodie:
Mary had a little lamb,
Mary culturally-expropriated a vertically-challenged ruminant from its native society,
His fleece was white as snow,
His criminally luxurious coat and cleanliness the signs of white male privilege, the sole reason he was bred and raised,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb, conditioned by centuries of white male oppressive tendencies, was determined to prevent Mary from having a happy and productive life of her own,
The lamb was sure to go.
The lamb, being a male, was stalking Mary, and was waiting for the right moment to verbally abuse and sexually assault her.
I’ll let someone else do the rest, if they want to, lol!