“Kayla, the baby found a zombie finger. And she’s sucking on it.”
“Yes, sexbots still count as adultery!”
Siri said, “Don’t go there. Literally, you aren’t allowed to go there.”
“You know those hidden taxes in the bill. Did you know they got one hidden in there to solve the blood and organ donor shortage?”
“The list of approved words is shorter than those we aren’t allowed to use.”
I hate it when the smart fridge lectures me on my dietary choices.
“Facebook said they’d secure our nude photos. I didn’t know they’d use them to secure payment, too.”
“It is still systematic oppression when an artificial intelligence tells you what to do instead of a human bureaucrat.”
“We aren’t allowed a new baby in the family until we give someone up. Do you want to be a great-grandparent or live longer?”
Maybe the reason aliens aren’t here is because they’ve seen our primetime television shows and decided we’re too stupid or insane to help … then again, this could explain why God lets reality shows air, to prevent an alien invasion because they think we aren’t worth the effort.
“Don’t compare me to that porn AI again, or I’ll take it in the divorce!”
The self-driving car let us in, locked the doors, and drove us where the hacker decided we should go.
The robot over-rode the off switch.
“They say you aren’t allowed to have kids if you’re stupid or crazy, and the other party’s been saying that for years. So the permit for a baby was denied because we’re not mentally competent –“
“Honey, Facebook is sexting us again.”
“You really should have learned how to browse totally incognito before the AI learned from your search history. This is getting embarrassing.”
The smart dishwasher texted me to say the dishes were done and the appliance repairman had put in the wrong rinse agent.
“I don’t care if you’re a smart appliance – you don’t have to be a smart-ass.”
“Facebook is threatening to send all our friends our most recent nudes. Did you forget to pay your annual bribe?”
“This self-driving car has been ordered to take you to the police station for questioning. You will not be able to exit the vehicle during this ride. Thank you for your business.”
I hate the proliferation of public service announcements. When my sex bot stops to tell me the latest political announcements, it is a failure of service to me.
If you enjoyed this flash fiction stories, consider buying my books like "Humanity's Edge" and "Sirat: Through the Fires of Hell".
Tamara Wilhite's Amazon Author Page