Donald Trump’s Strange Brain

Donald Trump’s Strange Brain

 

Well the scientists held a conference and everybody came

There were Innuits from Alaska and Sufis from Bahrain

Doctors from the Peru and neurosurgeons from Ukraine

They’d all come together to discuss Donald Trump’s strange brain.

 

Some focussed on the medulla others on the cerebral region

Searching through the notes and x-rays for anomalies and lesion

Analysing his every word and deed for signs of some cohesion

They all were in agreement that the irregularities were legion.

 

There were psychologists from Greece and Austria, birds of a feather

Biochemists from Zimbabwe, even a UFO chaser named Trevor

Surgeons from Brazil and Ecuador all embarked on this endeavour

Studying the evidence in ways most deep, varied and clever

 

The psychologists all oohed and aahed as they studied his behaviour

You could hear them all muttering that he thought he was the saviour

According to the consensus things could not get much crazier

If he chose to warm his bum by sitting on a red hot brazier

 

They brought their microscopes, scanners, computers and pens

Scribbled many notes and squabbled like excited clucking hens

Exchanging all their stories with hows and whys and whens

Making their diagnosis with this and that and thens

 

After many days of examination Chris Rock brought them to a halt

 He wanted to summarise their observations and their thought

To determine what diseases President Trump just might have caught

To see if remedies could be applied in this, their last resort.

 

‘Tell me you great scientists but try to keep it brief.

What have you discovered that is lurking underneath

That flapping yellow toupee that is causing us such grief

Tell me bold scientists what is your profound belief?

 

An eminent neurosurgeon rose to receive their great acclaim

As the spokeswoman of the whole group – the one with the most fame

She gathered up her notes and prepared to lay the blame

From her august demeanour you could see she was no lame dame

 

She weighed up all her words and spoke most eloquently

‘I have gathered up the conclusions from you and him and me.’

Looked at it from every angle and found we all agree

A normal brain has a hundred billion cells but we only counted three!’

 

Opher 8.9.2018

 

 

I woke up in the night with a Randy Newman song floating round my head and it gave me this bit of fun.

 

In these days with tales coming out concerning the strange, erratic and childish behaviour of the leader of the Western World, of rear-guard actions by his staff to prevent insane decisions damaging to America and the world being carried out, of damage limitation and despair, I thought his mind might need examining.

 

I imagined a symposium of all the world’s great scientists brought together to address the issue.

 

Chris Rock seemed the obvious choice to host it.

 

This poem is what came out. (It might need a little more work!)

Comments

opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:41am
I perhaps should have let this sit for a day or two and worked on the scanning and wording a little more but what the heck. It was fun.
Dino Manalis Added Sep 8, 2018 - 8:15am
 I don't know what's so strange about Trump's brain, he's actually carrying out his presidential duties.  Republicans and Democrats should advise him to achieve better results.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 8:22am
Dino - lighten up. It's a bit of fun!
But then the reports I am reading of the chaos, craziness and resistance in the Whitehouse I'm not sure you can say he's doing a good job. The man's a childish maniac from what I can see.
Bill H. Added Sep 8, 2018 - 11:40am
 
Oph - It's pretty much summed up in this short article.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 11:46am
Bill - that does sum it up rather well!
Even A Broken Clock Added Sep 8, 2018 - 12:43pm
Opher - you do very well on your first go-through. Sometimes extra work on a piece makes it less than it was initially.
 
Bill - I saw the treatment possibilities for people with the condition you describe. Can you imagine going through group therapy sessions with The Donald?
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 12:58pm
EABC - thanks - there's a few word choices and bits of scanning that needs tidying up I reckon. I might get round to it. You never know.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 12:59pm
Bill/EABC - I can't imagine any therapy sessions with DT.
Bill H. Added Sep 8, 2018 - 1:04pm
 
I worked for a classic narcissist for many years. His name was "Don't call me Bob!" Robert. Somehow his mega-ego helped him climb the ladder all the way from installer to Director of Engineering over a span of about 5 years. I suspect this was because the Manger of Operations didn't know his ass from a hole in the ground and was impressed and easily swayed by the "I'm so great and smart" attitude of Robert. This guy was a classic from the mold Trump all the way. He was probably the reason that I detest Trump totally.
I also read the treatment possibilities, and I suspect that it would be almost impossible to get most chronic narcissists to even consider going thru the process. The first step would be that one would have to admit that they have an issue, which as we could imagine with Trump, would be virtually impossible. How can you admit that you have a problem when you actually believe that you are the greatest person on Earth in all respects?
Eric Reports Added Sep 8, 2018 - 1:20pm
Someone has too much time on their hands.  That's sad.
Devilcrats hate Trump and they hate making America great again. 
EXPAT Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:03pm
It's obvious where the mental problems reside and it's not the White House!
But in a couple of months the Democrap will be a true minority, and the most successful President since FDR can get on with making the world a better place.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:11pm
Bill - you're right. They don't think they have a problem at all. They just think they are infinitely better than everybody else - even when they fuck up all the time.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:12pm
Eric - making America the laughing stock of the world doesn't look that great to me.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:13pm
Expat - Wow!! We'll see. Hopefully intelligent people will win over the deluded.
Mustafa Kemal Added Sep 8, 2018 - 3:23pm
Narcissism is only part of it. There is also the never having had to learn to play well with others, that and the ability to articulate oneself at about the 8th grade level. I somehow doubt if he has ever read a book.
 
Anyway, the Trump brain is not the problem. The problem is the US and its disfunction. Trump is a symptom.
 
As for all the tales of the booming economy, I believe it as much as the Trump people believed what they heard under Obama. 
 
The greatest stawk market bubble in history
 
Finally, I know its fun to think of the clear pathology of Trump's brain, but 
 
What good did it do to have a Constitutional Scholar for President?
 
Certainly not much for the constitution.
 
Mustafa
Not My Brother's Keeper Added Sep 8, 2018 - 3:45pm
Interesting, isn’t it, to witness the bizarre behavior and chicanery of those whose intent it is to project their own mental imbalances, which are on full display 24/7 by now-violent, politically-motivated and ideologically-deranged psychopaths who scream at the sky and commit civil rights violations en masse over the democratic process and the fact it didn’t work in their favor in 2016, onto President Donald Trump.   
 
Let me remind all within eyeshot...Donald Trump didn’t create the rabid, hateful nature and totalitarian proclivities of the mobs of incensed, hyper-hypocritical leftist-retrogressives. 
Nope. Trump and his glorious election victory merely exposed them ALL for the ultra-intolerant lunatics they actually are. 
And THAT is a fact, kiddos. 
Bill H. Added Sep 8, 2018 - 4:15pm
As some see, many narcissists actually use their affliction to convince and control people who fall for their somewhat convincing style. This is what I witnessed in the case of "Don't call me Bob!" Robert.
He bumbled, lied, and talked his way thru everything, it seemed. Sadly, it was those in charge who believed all of his bullshit. He finally got fired for embezzling company money and theft of company property, along with trying to screw one of the big bosses wives while she was under sedation in her hospital bed.
I'll always remember how much fun we had telling new employees to call him Bob, just so we could hear him utter "Don't call me Bob!!!!".
Jeffrey Kelly Added Sep 8, 2018 - 5:34pm
LOL, fantastic.  
All of those brain cells are concerned with is porn stars and finding his next trophy wife.
Ric Wells Added Sep 8, 2018 - 5:40pm
Opher when it comes to a poetic piece of satirethefirst run through is usually the best. To proofread and edit would diminish the intent. The poem spoke to you and not the opposite. Let it stand as is. 
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:08pm
Mustafa - I take your point. You are spot on. Trump is merely the symptom. The problem is America. What is causing that?
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:10pm
NMBK - no you are right. Trumpo created the energised fascists and white supremacists marching on the streets, the trade wars and falling out with allies and the cosying up to tyrants. 
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:11pm
Bill - that Bob seems to have a lot in common with someone we know.
James Travil Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:11pm
I suck at poetry, but I can recognize a good one (much like I'm no Christian but I can smell a fake from a mile away), and this is a good one Opher! Funny too. Thumbs up! 
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:12pm
Cheers Jeffrey - Well two of them are concerned with that. The other's unconnected.
opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:12pm
Ric - OK - I'll take your advice. 
Bill H. Added Sep 8, 2018 - 7:24pm
 
Oph - Exactly my point. When Trump came on the scene, my mind began to relive the worst almost 10 years of my working life. I could never understand how "don't call me Bob" was able to spoof his way up the ladder, but now I totally understand. All it took was the ability to hoodwink a chosen few who were easily impressed.
Ironically, I did end up getting his job. 
Mustafa Kemal Added Sep 8, 2018 - 8:12pm
Opher, 
re:"The problem is America. What is causing that?"
Its long and complicated, but part of it is the failings( or maybe I should say success)  of the NWO people to control their appetite for power and the destruction of the middle class. Its not Democrats or Republican, its the Hegelian dialectic masterpiece of the Elite that run the FED, CFR, CIA, MIC, etc. But it is not happy time for the Elite either. I believe they are in disgreement in how exactly this conflict should be used in the evolution of our not so fare state.  Same things coming across the pond.  
 
It is indeed revolution time. Hold on to your hat.
 
Mustafa
Joanne Corey Added Sep 8, 2018 - 9:19pm
So much rhyming! I'm impressed! ;)
Ward Tipton Added Sep 8, 2018 - 11:17pm
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 
Left Jacboot crushing my throat and liberties gooooooooooooood!
Right Jackboot crushing my throat and liberties baaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
 
That being said, I never edit my articles. Even when I do, I tend to read back what I meant and not necessarily what I wrote. 
EXPAT Added Sep 8, 2018 - 11:39pm
EXPAT Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:03pm

 It's obvious where the mental problems reside and it's not the White House!
But in a couple of months the Democrap will be a true minority, and the most successful President since FDR can get on with making the world a better place.

opher goodwin Added Sep 8, 2018 - 2:13pm

 Expat - Wow!! We'll see. Hopefully intelligent people will win over the deluded.
 
HOLY CRAP! opher is agreeing with me.
But the few Democraps with reasoning ability agree with me also.
They dragged Obama back from hiding, because they know their delusion and hate POTUS campaign is making them look un-American. Their denying the overwhelming success  of Tumps America First policies make every  Resist effort seem psychotic and self destructive.
 
What nobody wants to say, is the Democraps have proven themselves un worthy of leadership. THEY HAVE NO POLICY, OTHER THAN TO REMOVE TRUMP IN THE FACE OF HIS GREAT SUCCESS.
 
The Republicans won't say it because they don't want their supporters to become complacent and stay home, which is typical for a party in power mid term election.
 
The Democrats won't admit it because another crushing defeat by that basket of deplorable's, who are joined more every day by true Liberals, and minorities who are benefiting from Trump's policies, defies their delusion of superiority.
 
The secret poles, must be showing what I say, because Obama is now calling for sanity among Democraps, and formulation of a policy. Resistance is failing!
Ward Tipton Added Sep 9, 2018 - 12:20am
Obama ... the man who could refer to himself a hundred times in a ten minute speech ... yeah, no signs of narcissism there!
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:24am
Bill - let's hope the incumbent 'Don't Call Me Bob!' gets seen through quickly. Perhaps you could replace him too? That would be a huge improvement!
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:25am
Thanks James - glad you appreciated it. I'm not sure this brand of humour is popular with one branch of WB.
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:29am
Mustafa - yes there is an underlying dissatisfaction. I detect a growing discontent with the establishment. They have been running things for themselves for so long and handing out scraps to the masses that they've got used to easy control. Now, with mass discontent, the worm is turning. 
I don't think they quite know what to do. They certainly don't want to give up any of their loot or power.
The irony is that the masses are turning to people like Trump who epitomise the establishment greed that they are unhappy with.
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:29am
Joanne - do I detect some sarcasm?
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:33am
Ward - I take your point. To an extent we are talking about the same government establishment. It's merely the nuance that is different. Dems Repubs, Cons Lab - it's the same establishment.
Editing is essential for a writer. It is hard to be objective as you say. You read what you intended - not what you wrote. I've had to learn to gain objectivity. I'm getting better at it.
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:42am
Expat - agree? I think not.
The success of Trump? Haven't seen it yet. He's continued the economic growth on the same trajectory as Obama and done it by tax breaks, deregulation, reducing workers safety and removing environmental safeguards - all of which will create a huge bill that will have to be picked up further down the road.
Trade wars
Cosying up to tyrants
Pissing off allies
Making America a laughing stock
Environmental stupidity
Whitehouse chaos
Vacillations
Huge tax breaks for the wealthy and corporations
Vindictiveness
Tirades
Childish tantrums
Multitudes of lies
Racism
Misogyny
Support of fascists
Encouraging violence
Can't see that I've seen a great deal of success or positive leadership - more bumbling ineptitude, unpleasant arrogance, self-serving greed, uncouth behaviour and childish rants.
Short-term gains = long-term loss.
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 5:46am
Ward - is there a politician who hasn't a good dollop of narcissism? I doubt it. That goes with the territory.
But the disease has never been as pronounced as it is with the incumbent. His arrogance and vindictiveness, self-centred attitude and inability to listen to anybody else put him in a class of his own.
I suggest you take a little look at the link Bill sent through. It is clear and elucidating :
this target="_blank">short article.
Joanne Corey Added Sep 9, 2018 - 7:30am
Actually not sarcasm. I am also a poet, but seldom manage to successfully write in form, whether writing on serious or lighter topics. Maybe I will get there someday...
opher goodwin Added Sep 9, 2018 - 8:31am
Well Joanne I thank you kindly. Thanks for the compliment.
opher goodwin Added Sep 10, 2018 - 5:19am
For some reason this post keeps disappearing and coming back again. Do you think the Child has come back and is trying to steal it?
Bill H. Added Sep 10, 2018 - 2:50pm
Oph - Could it be??
"My people,...…. and they are great people,...... are working on eliminating fake news from the media and the internet. I have seen much fake news on a site called WriterBeat. It's a terrible site,...…... very very terrible, with lots of very nasty things being written by our enemies in other countries. I will soon be building a digital wall to help protect us from these terrible, terrible people!"
Ward Tipton Added Sep 11, 2018 - 1:36am
I hear they have a beautiful "Golden Shield" in China Bill. We bitter, Bible-thumpin', bitter, gun clingin' deplorable Klingons would call it a firewall and censorship but hey, consider the source right? Probably just more fake news. 
Bill H. Added Sep 11, 2018 - 11:27am
 
Recent efforts to eliminate net neutrality provide the groundwork for future internet censorship here in the US.
opher goodwin Added Sep 13, 2018 - 3:42pm
OMG Bill!!! This is terrible. I could be excluded!! Not only that but I will never be able to visit the USA again and I love the place!!
Can you vouch for me??
To think that man reads what's on here!
opher goodwin Added Sep 13, 2018 - 3:43pm
Ward - I've seen a lot of it. I can see where it's coming from though!
michael d zitterman Added Nov 3, 2018 - 11:54am
Does anyone think Pres. Trump is not a narcissist?
Does anyone believe he doesn't say some "interesting" (okay! stupid) things?
Does anyone believe he is not hyperbolic?
 
My opinion:
His style requires massive adjustments.
His substance is good.
 
Pres. Obama had and has style (great smile and loquacious).
He is very short on substance.
 
mz
mikiesmoky@aol.com
 
Not My Brother's Keeper Added Nov 3, 2018 - 12:30pm
“Well the scientists held a conference and everybody came
There were Innuits from Alaska and Sufis from Bahrain
Doctors from the Peru and neurosurgeons from Ukraine
They’d all come together to discuss Donald Trump’s strange brain.”
 
Haha! All that educational processes and the answer is so simple....
 
The ideology currently known as “progressivism” is being globally rejected and being systematically overcome and replaced by logic, common sense and rationality. Hence, Trumpism.
 
What these “masters of the universe” should focus their collective attention on is finding a cure for Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder, aka T.A.R.D., and help the chronically-afflicted with their misery and find a course-correction from their downward spiraling into politically-induced madness. 
Not My Brother's Keeper Added Nov 3, 2018 - 12:31pm
“Educational prowess”. Not processes. 
Jeffrey Kelly Added Nov 3, 2018 - 2:08pm
Actually the scientists need to figure out why Trumplings lack the ability to smell Donald the Thud’s bullshit.  That’s a worthwhile goal.