Bail Bonds

My Recent Posts

Recently I watched a hilarious string of YouTube videos from the Broward County, Florida weekend bail court, and it piqued my interest in the whole bail bond thing. Due to my skills as a cunning and ruthless criminal and, most important, incredibly dumb fucking luck, I've never been locked up and therefore never required the services of a bail bondsman; however, I know many others who have. Anyway, while watching the judges in action, I was reminded of a glaring fact; like just about everything else on this planet, it's all about the money, and they put the "bond" in bondage.


I had no idea that the U.S. is practically the only country in the world that has a bail bond system. In most of the rest of the world, the corruption is so bad, the cops and guards simply cut out the middle man and often directly charge inmates for rent, food, and other “amenities”, but here, the corruption is somewhat more sophisticated. The case of Max Factor empire larva and serial rapist Andrew Luster comes to mind. Despite the fact that he was an acknowledged flight risk due to his wealth and his personal habits (Someone described his only concerns in life on a daily basis as “where he would surf, where he would eat, and who he would drug and rape), Luster was granted bail, because HE HAD THE MONEY! Sounds like a typical overprivileged asshole and potentially future SCOTUS justice to me, lol.


Anyhoo, the U.S. bail system also seems to have a deleterious effect in other ways. In addition to routinely pushing the limits of the Eighth Amendment (Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel or unusual punishments inflicted), it fails to address many cultural aspects. For example, many immigrant communities are often viciously and ruthlessly preyed upon by their own kind. The victims call the cops, the cops arrest the perps, but a day or two later, the victims see the same perps again, who may or may not cease and desist from perpetrating upon them. Unfamiliar with both the mechanisms and indeed, the entire concept of the U.S. bail system, the victims feel that, much like their home countries, the police and the authorities are hopelessly corrupt.



The Burghal Hidage Added Sep 30, 2018 - 2:40am
that would be because they are
Anti-Limey Added Sep 30, 2018 - 2:44am
@ TBH - Succinctly summed up, as per usual, lol.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Sep 30, 2018 - 3:39am
Say it isn't so!!!!!!
Anti-Limey Added Sep 30, 2018 - 3:43am
@ Captain Gilbert - Say it isn't so!!!!!!  
'Splain, Loosy, lol.
The Burghal Hidage Added Sep 30, 2018 - 3:43am
LOL.....Captain, you always give me a smile
The Burghal Hidage Added Sep 30, 2018 - 3:45am
How many cops does it take to feed a crocodile?
Leroy Added Sep 30, 2018 - 6:59am
Seems that there is a movement to do away with bail.  Didn't California do away with the bail bond system because it was unfair to the poorer members of society?
John Minehan Added Sep 30, 2018 - 7:22am
I took Criminal Procedure Survey from Professor Peter Prieser, who wrote the commentaries for McKinney's NY Penal Law and Criminal Procedure Law.
He had been an ADA in NYC when Frank Hogan was DA.  He had been the Commissioner of Corrections in NYS after Attica.  He had been a longshoreman prior to going to law school.  He was a guy who had seen and done it all and was not particularly political.
He used to describe bail as "Ransom for the poor."
He also said it "Was derived from a Scottish custom going back to when they were painting themselves blue, wearing plaid and chasing each other up and down the hills with swords."   
Dino Manalis Added Sep 30, 2018 - 8:41am
 Punishment for crimes must be emphasized, while inmates without money should be able to work their way out.
The Burghal Hidage Added Sep 30, 2018 - 10:58am
That and golf. That tears it. The Scots ARE sadists :)
Anti-Limey Added Sep 30, 2018 - 12:09pm
@ Leroy - As far as I know, nothing in that area has been dismantled.
Anti-Limey Added Sep 30, 2018 - 12:11pm
@ John M. - "Ransom for the poor." LOL. Something like that.
Flying Junior Added Sep 30, 2018 - 4:46pm
By never going to jail back in the day, you missed out on some good times, buddy!  I met a great deal of unforgettable characters.  My favorite downtown jail memory was watching, "The Ten Commandments," starring Charlton Heston with a bunch of really cool criminals.  Some big tall black guy comes busting in the TV room and announces proudly, "That Moses was a badass motherfucker!"
I think you are right about California.  But the bail bondsmen are still in business, so it hasn't really gone away yet.  I'm not sure how it works for people who plead financial hardship.  There have been major considerations.  But if you have a job and means, you will be soaked for massive traffic fines.  A typical one-point infraction such as an illegal left turn, running a sign or a red light or ten to fifteen mph over the limit brings a hefty $450 fine.  I always thought that it was very sick when they first allowed people to pay their fines with credit cards.  That's cruel and unusual punishment.  The debt burden will cancel out any disposable income they once had.  People should be able to argue their case before a judge and get some relief.
Right now the typical driving on a suspended or even more than five unpaid parking tickets will trigger impound.  So if your car is in the impound lot say for three days you might be lucky enough to get it out for around $600.  Plus whatever unpaid fines you already had!  This is changing quickly because of the growing homeless population which is surviving by living in their vehicles.
Ward Tipton Added Oct 1, 2018 - 7:52am
The judicial system is by and large set up as a banking system. Thus charges, costs, bail, ... a little digging is generally very disturbing for most people, but study banking terms and then look at the "judicial system" again. 
TBH - "How many cops does it take to feed a crocodile?"
It depends on how hungry the crocs are yes? 
And being half Scottish ... I resent your comments about golf ... I played golf one time ... shot a 48 ... everyone else went on to the second hole ... I just went to the bar ... but hey ... eighteen holes on a golf course ... eighteen shots in a fifth of whiskey ... Scots got that one right enough!
Anti-Limey Added Oct 1, 2018 - 8:31pm
@ FJ - I'd rather encounter such characters at a dive bar, lol.
Anti-Limey Added Oct 1, 2018 - 8:32pm
@ Ward T. - "The judicial system is by and large set up as a banking system."
With one's own ass as collateral, lol.
Ward Tipton Added Oct 1, 2018 - 10:31pm
Actual with one's corporate fiction ... legal fiction as the collateral ... quite literally. The courts admittedly have no jurisdiction over the flesh and blood man, only with the legal fiction. 
James Travil Added Oct 3, 2018 - 4:53am
Actually Michael, I was shocked to learn recently that about half of the states now charge room and board for prison inmates! And considering the slave wages that they pay in prison it's impossible to leave without being in debt. To further compound the problem most states require excons to pay for parole services. It's all a big money scam from incarnation to release and beyond. Bail ain't half of it. 
Jeffry Gilbert Added Oct 3, 2018 - 5:32am
It seems as though an arrest for any major crime means you'll never get out from under the jack boot. 
In that case one would logically be compelled not to allow the arrest to happen by any means necessary. 
The Burghal Hidage Added Oct 3, 2018 - 11:41am
Head shots only
Anti-Limey Added Oct 3, 2018 - 1:01pm
@ Ward T. - I'll have to try that one out on the judge on my next court appearance, lol.
Anti-Limey Added Oct 3, 2018 - 1:03pm
@ James T. - Yet another shit in the Yellow Shit Road on the way to becoming a third-world shithole version of Oz. Speaking of which, that one is also ripe for some modern treatment, lol. Something besides porn though, as I'm sure it had been thoroughly "covered" already, lol.
Anti-Limey Added Oct 3, 2018 - 1:07pm
@ Captain Gilbert - "It seems as though an arrest for any major crime means you'll never get out from under the jack boot. 
In that case one would logically be compelled not to allow the arrest to happen by any means necessary."
Fuckin' A right you are. Once one is in the "system", death is usually the only escape from it. It's only going to get worse. And, better 100 innocent civilians get gunned down than a cop getting a paper cut.   
Anti-Limey Added Oct 3, 2018 - 1:07pm
@ TBH - How could someone like G. Gordon Liddy possibly be wrong in this context, lol.
The Burghal Hidage Added Oct 3, 2018 - 1:51pm
A man after my own heart. Head shots dont mean maybe baby!
Katharine Otto Added Oct 3, 2018 - 3:30pm
Ooh, la, la.  It's worse than I thought.  I'm looking for a new country to live in.  Don't trust the airports.  May have to swim.
The Burghal Hidage Added Oct 3, 2018 - 5:18pm
Katharine - all you need do is go someplace where it is hard to live. The stupid avoid these places religiously
Ward Tipton Added Oct 4, 2018 - 12:03am
Michael B - 
"@ Ward T. - I'll have to try that one out on the judge on my next court appearance, lol."
See my article about "America the Legal ... but not Lawful" and it is prefaced with a quote from the Supreme Court stating just that. 
However, if you live in any federal district or have ever contracted with the federal system through Zone Improvement Process or Zip Codes, have a SSN from the Federal Treasury Zones, live in a federal State within a State, live in a Federal Reserve District ... you have already waived your rights and contracted for privileges of permission with the feds under the fourteenth amendment. 
I was arrested six times for the same "crime" that never occurred, was subsequently jailed for forty-eight hours ... the maximum time they can hold you without charges, and it took 24 hours to process me out each time ... then I was billed forty-eight hundred dollars per incident for cost of room and board ... but they did have a good payment program ... pay us or go to jail ... for not paying them is indeed a criminal offense against the system and against the feds ... a federal crime in a local jurisdictional court ... now gee, how could that be? 
Funny thing ... only one shows up on my NCIC ... I think that is what it is? My national criminal background check only shows one arrest despite my having been arrested six times ... and billed six times. The only lawyer I could get to even look at it without kicking me out of their office was Mills Lane who wanted fifteen grand to tackle the system ... which I did not have. The local papers and news stations would not even talk to me about it. 
If you do, I would recommend when you plea, you plea a mistake of jurisdiction under Title two section sixty B I think it is, of the United States Code ... but good luck getting a copy of that as despite being part of national law, it is Redacted in all publications made available to the general public. 
Ward Tipton Added Oct 4, 2018 - 12:05am
Much like title 83 of the IRS code which clearly states that since labor is not "free" income is not taxable, only those earnings provided to you above and beyond the just compensation for your labor. That case is currently in the Federal Court system but I am betting it goes to the SCOTUS ... not that they give a crap about the Constitution or the lawful authority, but merely about the legality ... if that much. 
Mircea Negres Added Oct 6, 2018 - 5:05am
Michael, in my opinion legal systems have become so complicated they are nearly useless at anything besides getting themselves paid and putting the wrong people in jail. On the bright side, at least you guys have weekend bail courts. In South Africa the courts work Monday to Friday, 8AM to 4PM and public holidays off. The "police" love to arrest people on Friday evenings so they can frighten them into signing confessions until Monday- unless of course, they don't torture them to death first. One thing I've never heard of here though, are bail bondsmen. Usually people either pay bail from their own accounts or family members help them out.
Anti-Limey Added Oct 8, 2018 - 1:28pm
@ Ward - Interesting. Profit over everything else!
Anti-Limey Added Oct 8, 2018 - 1:29pm
@ Mircea - Welcome back! I though some kaffirs got to you, lol. Your account sounds more typical for the world in general, lol.