Free Psychotherapy!!!

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Tell me your problems, and I'll have solutions for each and every one of them. I really will, heh heh!

Comments

Ryan Messano Added Dec 17, 2018 - 9:11pm
Oh good.  Liberalism is a mental illness, and WB has a lot of them running around.  There is FJ, JM, OG, SEF, JT, BH, and a lot more.  They really do need healing, but it's tricky, because they are running around trying to heal everyone else.  Good luck!
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 17, 2018 - 9:56pm
Lucy costs more.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:11am
Ryan, The Prez sez that you suffer from what certain Native American tribes call "lacknookie".
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:12am
Sorry, "lackanookie".
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:12am
Mustafa, your problem is that you overspend money unnecessarily.
FacePalm Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:29am
Is this another iteration of Michael B?
 
Oh, nevermind; i figured it out..and yep, it's who i thought.
 
i think Mustafa's right, perhaps in more ways than he knows.  Why should i trust you?  Why would you not be like Lucy and the football to Charlie Brown?  "Trust me," she says, then always, always, always betrays that trust.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:46am
FacePalm, your problem is that you gave too much face and palm in addition to other things while being in the USN, and feel bad and guilty about doing it. You should embrace your innate gayness fully, and attend the next big parade in San Francisco.
The Burghal Hidage Added Dec 18, 2018 - 8:06am
Yo Vlad, what up? and what have you done with Joe Pot?
The Burghal Hidage Added Dec 18, 2018 - 8:07am
I'll pass on the psychotherapy, though. You don't have enough time or a couch big enough :)
Dino Manalis Added Dec 18, 2018 - 8:42am
 Psychology is serious and it should be treated before it leads to other health problems.
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 18, 2018 - 10:10am
Prez,
" your problem is that you overspend money unnecessarily."
 
yeah, but I dont suffer from lacknookie.
 
Mustafa
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:25pm
@ TBH - Your problem is that you're too smart for your own good. Happiness and dumbing down are directly proportional.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:26pm
Oh, and only one visit per customer. Also, complaints and backtalk will not be tolerated. You unappreciative assholes can go fuck yourselves.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 18, 2018 - 2:29pm
@ TBH - Pot and the others are being held in "protective custody". I'm still about to have my way with Pussy Riot...I'll show those little bitches, mua ha ha.
The Burghal Hidage Added Dec 18, 2018 - 3:30pm
So what you're saying is I should smoke even more green? Hmmm. I'll take it under advisement. Make sure you wear a raincoat bro! Those bitches look pretty skanky to me. 
 
I was for a brief time acquainted professionally with a couple of Russians (one of them named Vlad, oddly enough). I asked him once to teach some phrases in Russian for seducing a woman. He laughed and replied that every word that crosses the lips of a Russian male is meant to suggest that a woman should undress and get on her knees. 
Katharine Otto Added Dec 18, 2018 - 8:11pm
Prez Czar Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Putin (alias Michael B.),
I think your alter ego has found y'all's callin'.  Very funny.
 
Ken Added Dec 18, 2018 - 11:07pm
 Psychology is serious and it should be treated before it leads to other health problems.
 
Psychiatry is serious and takes an Md.  Psychology just takes running through leftist indoctrination long enough in college to get a certificate.
Spartacus Added Dec 19, 2018 - 3:58am
Pain is the best answer to most people's problems.  Your best bet for a satisfying life -- get a healthy dose of pain (I said "healthy").
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 2:40pm
@ TBH - Take my sound advice in your own way. More green of anything is a usually a good thing.
 
I'm going to show Pussy Riot a dick riot, a la 1968 Chicago. Your Russian friend knows Russian women well. Like most bitches, they'd prefer to bow to a powerful man than to dominate a weakling. Being a former KGB man, I'm good with the whole "protection" thing...too bad your President wasn't...heh heh.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 2:40pm
@ KO - Laughter is always good medicine, especially when it's at somebody else's expense.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 2:41pm
@ Dino - That's the most coherent thing you've ever said. You're getting better already!
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 2:41pm
@ Ken - Unlike Dino, that was very incoherent. Please don't drink to excess or arrive in a pre-medicated condition. I can't help you.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 2:41pm
@ Spartacus - "Here's to champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends." You're halfway there already - it's always therapeutic to hit someone, HARD.
Stone-Eater Added Dec 19, 2018 - 3:15pm
Mentoring Exploiter
 
My problem is that I haven't got a problem. Everybody I know has one or even several, but they have good paid jobs, I don't. Apparently I can't afford one. Can you tell me where I can get one for cheap ?
 
Best regards and thanks
 
Stone
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 19, 2018 - 3:18pm
Stone, all one needs is a female companion to have a full supply of problems for at least three lifetimes. Your problem is that you're living beyond your means. You will only find happiness and contentment by moving deep into the Kalahari desert and never returning. I suggest taking on the lifestyle of a honey badger.
FacePalm Added Dec 19, 2018 - 5:00pm
One day, in a HS science class, the previous week's test results were handed out.  The jock got an F; the nerd got an A.
The jock smacked the nerd on the back of the head.  "Why do you keep on getting good grades, and i keep on flunking?  he demanded.
The nerd, sick of getting harassed by this bully, replied, "Well, i guess it's 'cause of these smart pills my parents make me take."
"Smart pills?"  asked the incredulous jock.  "Give me some!"
The nerd replied, "Sorry, i'm out.  They're expensive, too."
"Oh, yeah?", said the jock, "How much?"
The nerd answered, "They're ten bux apiece, but i might be able to spare you a couple."
The jock said, "Bring 'em tomorrow, i'll have the bread."
So the nerd went home that afternoon, found some well-dried rabbit turds near the hutch, put 'em into a pill bottle, and brought 'em to science class the next day.
"Didja bring 'em?"  demanded the jock.
"Yeah," replied the nerd, "I got 'em; you bring the dough?"
"I got it," said the jock.
"Hand it over," said the nerd.
The jock did,  whereupon the nerd glanced around, nervously.  "Ok, he said, "hold out your hand, and i'll put two in it.  When you take these, remember you have to chew them up slowly and thoroughly before swallowing, or they won't work."
"Ok," replied the jock, and popped 'em into his mouth.
"Damn," said the jock, "These taste like shit!"
"See?" said nerd-boy, "You're getting smarter already!"
Neil Lock Added Dec 19, 2018 - 6:25pm
Ah yes, Mr. Congenial is back. Nice to hear from you again! Disappointed you haven't yet come over to my thread about the Shark.
 
And I agree with Dino's perspicacious comment: Psychology is serious and it should be treated before it leads to other health problems. For like Dino, I'm stronger mentally than physically. And I see today's "science" of "psychology" as sapping mental energy from all of us.
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 19, 2018 - 7:24pm
FacePalm, thats a pretty stupid nerd. He may get an A on his test with his knuckle sandwich.
 
Mustafa
FacePalm Added Dec 19, 2018 - 8:23pm
Maybe - still a funny joke!  Well, to everyone but the jock, that is.
It's like another i heard recently: 
"What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?"
"A whore will screw anyone; a bitch will screw anyone - but you."
i could be mistaken, but i think Michael B told that one!
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 20, 2018 - 3:15am
Facepalm, that sounds like an autobiographical story.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 20, 2018 - 3:19am
Neil Lock, I don't make house calls. Your problem is that you take obvious penile implants like Dogg Turd too seriously.
FacePalm Added Dec 20, 2018 - 3:48am
Boogie-
that sounds like an autobiographical story.
 
Which one?
Ward Tipton Added Dec 20, 2018 - 7:56am
"Psychiatry is serious and takes an Md.  Psychology just takes running through leftist indoctrination long enough in college to get a certificate."
 
Psychiatry is a sure cause for failure ... you need medical school because drugs are their solution to everything ... and not the good ones either. Ever look at the side effects on those things? 
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 20, 2018 - 3:50pm
Agreed. Drugs are the answer to EVERYTHING.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 20, 2018 - 3:51pm
Drugs, and High Explosives.
FacePalm Added Dec 20, 2018 - 6:50pm
Nice new avatar; the bloody tongue is an interesting, albeit apropos, addition, there, Ché.
Stone-Eater Added Dec 20, 2018 - 8:48pm
Saudade. And corazòn. A bit lower and the vocals come out. Baby cmon light my fire. WTF about Mexican women. They're way hotter than Irish/English/German breed with no color and spices :-))(
Stone-Eater Added Dec 20, 2018 - 8:51pm
BTW: Black is butiful. No specks and no need of a diving suit.
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 20, 2018 - 11:04pm
Michael has become a high frequency avatar name changer.
Its kinda fun.
 
I like your new avatar.
 
Mustafa
Ward Tipton Added Dec 20, 2018 - 11:48pm
I have known black women with freckles, but my first wife was Mexican ... I have always had a soft spot for Asian and Hispanic women ... not white, but not black either ... high yellow perhaps? Or is that racist to denote these days? 
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 21, 2018 - 3:47am
You all are beyond help. I do wish all the best for you.
Ward Tipton Added Dec 21, 2018 - 3:57am
The reason we are all here is because we are not all there. If we were all there, we obviously, could not all be here! 
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 21, 2018 - 4:00am
Ward, that was marvelous. I cannot improve upon that whatsoever. For some reason, I'm reminded of the original 1967 movie Bedazzled.
Si Added Dec 21, 2018 - 9:00am
My python boot is too tight, I couldn't get it off last night.
What is your recommendation?
FacePalm Added Dec 21, 2018 - 10:07am
I couldn't say where she's comin' from, but i just met a lady named Dynamo Hum.
What is your advice?
Ward Tipton Added Dec 21, 2018 - 10:59am
Line her up for a James Bond flick?
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 21, 2018 - 3:13pm
Si, changing footwear daily is the key to proper foot care.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 21, 2018 - 3:14pm
Facepalm, stiffen your thumb and apply rotation to her sugar plum.
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 21, 2018 - 3:14pm
And don't forget your lighter.
FacePalm Added Dec 21, 2018 - 5:24pm
Sheik-
stiffen your thumb and apply rotation to her sugar plum
Don't i need to whip down 'er bloomers, first?  What if i poke'n'stroke 'til my wrist goes numb, but still don't hear no Dynamo Hum?
 
And don't forget your lighter
What about the zircon encrustation?
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 22, 2018 - 12:03am
Yesss, give us some Zappatherapy!
Mustafa Kemal Added Dec 22, 2018 - 12:07am
"My python boot is too tight"
Stinkfoot eh?
Adolf Dick McMenace Added Dec 22, 2018 - 3:18am
FZ was the first rapper...what the fuck did THAT turn into, lol.