Bank tellers. Those smug bitches who know more about you than you probably would like them to, especially if you don't have at least a five-digit figure in your checking account on a regular basis. Besides a medical professional, perhaps no other stranger that you meet face-to-face possesses more intimate knowledge of exactly how well or badly-endowed you truly are, down to the red cent.
Of course, being in that unique vantage point, I imagined that much like medical professionals and others who deal with the general public, bank tellers also have more than their share of tragicomic tales to tell. Sure enough, one teller I talked to told some pretty hilarious stories of people who went bonkers while banking, such as:
A woman who was convinced that Satanic hackers regularly accessed her account, which explained why it was overdrawn on a regular basis. The Satanic hackers were based at various establishments that she coincidentally frequented.
Another woman who used her entire wardrobe, including bra and panties, as a temporary wallet and purse. The women spent approx. 20 minutes fishing bills and coins out to make a deposit, which amounted to a couple of hundred bucks.
A man who routinely orders hundreds of dollars’ worth of small change, only to return it all within a few days. According to the teller, the man is searching “for a special coin.”
Another man who ordered $250 worth of pennies. Apparently upset at a debt he had to pay, this guy did it in style. Not content with keeping them in their rolls, the man said he was going to ensure they were all loose when presented.
A man who closed his account (which had several hundred thousand dollars) within minutes of it being seized by law enforcement for whatever reason.
A woman who withdrew $84,000 in cash in order to buy a dress.
I’m sure there are many, many others out there.