If we were really serious about rape prevention

To those that believe reducing rape is as easy as obtaining a signed consent to interact form: 

 

What on earth would this ludicrous new requirement accomplish? A would-be rapist could still ask for - what was it? - "consent to interact." Then, if granted, he could still drag you into the bushes and rape you. If not granted, he could do the same thing. If he's not going to care about consent to have sex, he's not going to care about this new absurd made-up level of consent, either. Anyway, this is claiming that women are on alert even if the men aren't talking to them or interacting with them at all - just in their vicinity. Do they have to have consent to walk or exist near a woman? Is that the next idiotic step in our modern dystopia?

 

Normal interaction between men and women cannot be pathologized like this. Yes, that means we sometimes have to deal with turning a guy down or having an unpleasant interaction. Most women can get their risk of rape almost down to 0 by not getting falling-down drunk or high, being conscious of their surroundings and avoiding dangerous neighborhoods/situations, going out with friends, and wearing more than duct tape for clothing.

 

If we were really serious about rape prevention, we would also sensitize our daughters to the groups of men far most likely to commit it, which, depending on where you live in the Western world, generally means black men, Hispanic men, or Muslim men.

 

The obsession with consent is a consequence of the sexual revolution. Because we have thrown every other sexual value out the window, consent is the only thing left. Because many women feel used by this new do-whatever-feels-good system (they want to pair-bond, not screw a different guy every night), they are using the consent issue to ever-increasing levels of insanity in order to replace what they really want, which is love. A recent piece in the NYT illustrated this need (which many women can't even articulate properly) quite well: 

 

https://www.nytimes.com/201.... The entire piece is claiming that the author feels used because guys keep using her sexually, always being careful to get consent while doing so. By the end, it is clear the "consent" she is seeking is not consent at all, but actual love. It is deeply sad in some ways, as she can't see that that is the real issue.

 

I certainly understand men's reactions to all this. The current free-for-all in our culture makes women crazier and more vindictive every day. It's because they ultimately do not want to sleep with a bunch of nameless guys. They want to pair bond, have romance, be committed, and have a family. But they have been programmed to think they are supposed to be baby-phobic careerist ice queens who sleep around with any guy with whom they have a drink. Those women exist, but are incredibly rare. Almost no women are naturally like that. The are acting a part, and it makes them miserable and empty. So now tons of women are broken and damaged by the way the culture has conditioned them to act. If we want less of this, we are going to have to go back to a time when sexual values included chastity, commitment, trust, exclusivity, and love.

Comments

Jeffry Gilbert Added Feb 8, 2019 - 1:40am
Learning how to defend yourselves, as I taught my sisters to do, will make it even less likely. 
 
Take responsibility for your own defense. Cops don't care. Thay damn sure aren't going to prevent it. Worse yet they aren't going to make you feel better about it with all their ridiculous nonsense questions agendas.
Flying Junior Added Feb 8, 2019 - 3:14am
I hate you right-wing misogynists.
Jeffry Gilbert Added Feb 8, 2019 - 4:30am
I hate you right-wing misogynists.
 
Probably goes with my toxic masculinity. 
 
Flying Junior Added Feb 8, 2019 - 4:35am
Not you, the author.  Did you click the link?
Jeffry Gilbert Added Feb 8, 2019 - 5:02am
No. I never waste my time with that rag. 
Tubularsock Added Feb 8, 2019 - 2:52pm
Esme, your humor level is really over the top.
 
We have the White “President” of the United States admitting he’s out there “grabbing pussy” and you believe that rape more likely is being done by “black men, Hispanic men, or Muslim men”?
 
You have got to be kidding!
 
A huge number of women don’t even report rape because of the shame and blame that is cast upon them so how would you even know how many white men are whipping it out? Give Tubularsock a break!
Tubularsock Added Feb 8, 2019 - 5:07pm
Ahhh Mogg, did Tubularsock piss on your boy?
But yes, he is Orange not White. Does that help?
Tubularsock Added Feb 8, 2019 - 7:33pm
Mogg, Tubularsock thanks you for sharing.
Ryan Messano Added Feb 8, 2019 - 9:09pm
 
Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex, and it works best in marriage. Dear women, it's best you don't vote, and go back home to have children.  You've had your fun getting an education and a job, and now our nation is a wreck. Either you go home and excel in the sphere God designed for you, or America will be destroyed.  Fertility rates will lead to that, and you've got all time low fertility rates. 
Ryan Messano Added Feb 8, 2019 - 9:09pm
You are right about Tuberculosis, Mogg, he is one addled idjit. 
Tubularsock Added Feb 8, 2019 - 9:40pm
Oh Ryan, you are such the charmer. And Tubularsock thanks you for your voice from the bottom of the barrel.
Ryan Messano Added Feb 9, 2019 - 12:20am
Reminds me of the inhabitants of 'One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest'.  Some of the most charming people, and yet totally devoid of sense. 
 
Tubesock proves liberalism is a mental disorder every last time he does a silly post on here.  How you can continually post, when your posts have been completely torn apart repeatedly, is a marvel in willful ignorance. 
Tubularsock Added Feb 9, 2019 - 2:07am
Ryan, you really are hilarious. Tubularsock loves your humor. Some truly funny shit come forth from your comments.
 
Sure Tubularsock is impressed!
 
Jim Stoner Added Feb 9, 2019 - 2:40am
Esme, 
For the most part--except the part where Tubularsock criticizes your generalization about likely rapists--I have no idea what these commenters are talking about.   Certainly not addressing the concerns in your article. 
 
My suggestion is that young men and women of an age of consent should try to have natural, direct interactions.  Speak, listen, observe, and enjoy each other's company. Try not to pretend you are filling a role in a soap opera or relying on someone else's conception of the rules of "dating", or "hooking up". 
 
Through those, one learns cues that help avoid serious misunderstandings, and worse.  Unfortunately, this skill set does not necessarily come easily, and innocence is sometimes "repaid with scorn".   There is risk, and that is part of what makes  romantic relationships interesting and exciting.  
Flying Junior Added Feb 9, 2019 - 4:23am
Women give sex to get love, men give love to get sex, and it works best in marriage. Dear women, it's best you don't vote, and go back home to have children. 
 
Ryan,
 
I feel so fucking sorry for you.  You poor, hurt, sick puppy.  There isn't much left for you in this world.
Flying Junior Added Feb 9, 2019 - 4:26am
Jim,
 
We are simply calling bullshit.  This author links to something from The Federalist.  Total misogynistic bullcrap.  This author is not serious about women's issues.  Little probability, if any, that said author is female.
Cullen Kehoe Added Feb 9, 2019 - 5:51am
I've been reading some female columnists in the last year which keep basically making the claims that all men are potential rapists, violent, etc...
 
It's funny because I read another article which says millennials are a strange breed. Because they have been helicoptered around by their parents, always taught that potential abductors are around the corner, never allowed to play unattended in the neighborhood, never allowed to stand on their own two feet ever before they are sent off to university, that they are completely paranoid at college and in early adulthood. So they need safe spaces, act like snowflakes, etc...
 
Why do they need safe spaces? Because they don't feel safe, in public, in life.
 
Take your pick of articles about this phenomenon:
https://reason.com/archives/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation
 
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-your-adult-child-breaks-your-heart/201701/the-effects-helicopter-parenting
 
There are many others. It seems to plague young women more than young women.
 
But there are greater and greater numbers of young women, it seems, who are frightened by their own shadows. Who expect the world to change, to be turned upside down to accomodate them.
 
So that 'hey gorgeous' catcall, I'd have to guess, is terrifying. The guy who says hello in the super market, scary.

Everytime they read an article that some women, somewhere was killed by a man, they are convinced they are next.
Cullen Kehoe Added Feb 9, 2019 - 5:55am
I've thought about this because there are more claims that men do nothing to stop violence against women. But I think this isn't true at all.
 
Fathers often instill a respect for women into sons. The problem is if the father isn't around much or at all.
 
Society, about 5000 years ago, began making laws against rape with harsh punishments. And has been doing so ever since.
 
If men didn't care about rape, they wouldn't have been it a crime for all of recorded history.

But men also understand other males. They know that marches don't really accomplish much when rapists make up 0.0001% of all men. It's not going to do anything. Signatures on petitions, again, it wouldn't do anything.

That sort of thing works when you're trying to get reach the majority not the 0.00001%.
 
Am I wrong?
Cullen Kehoe Added Feb 9, 2019 - 6:02am
To respond directly to the post (sorry, last comment), surely there is a solution to the problem outlined here. (Where women are getting sex but don't feel fulfilled by it, and feel cheap by it.)
 
It's a very old solution. It's called.........don't sleep with the guy. Men don't often respect women who sleep with them after little effort expended anyway.
 
But this requires maturity because it changes who you look for (I'd have to guess). Women would actually look for marriage material in a guy instead of using school girl crush criteria.
Mustafa Kemal Added Feb 9, 2019 - 2:13pm
Esme
"If we were really serious about rape prevention"
 
But "we" arent.
 
As a father to three daughters, 
 I will leave it to individuals to protect themselves. Certainly depending on the police is sillyness.
Mark Hunter Added Feb 10, 2019 - 4:12am
When I was younger, women had no trouble turning me down, as I recall ... and my response was to walk away. I would suggest that the greatest weapon against rape is to teach young people write from wrong and respect for others, and when someone does choose to rape, punish them harshly. No, that won't stop all rapes, but signing consent forms sure won't, either.
Spartacus Added Feb 10, 2019 - 6:36am
Very good article, Esme.
Koshersalaami Added Feb 10, 2019 - 9:09am
If you’re going to take ethnic shots in the middle of your article, please substantiate them. I’ve never heard that rapists weren’t White. 
 
If consent to interact in general were the issue, there’d be no such thing as rape within existing relationships. Filling out a form before every instance of coitus would be a distinctly odd form of foreplay. 
 
Ryan,
Women didn’t go to work in large numbers because of feminism, particularly mothers with children at home, they went to work in large numbers because real middle class incomes didn’t rise while a number of major expenses did - energy, college education, credit interest, medicine, housing - and that was the only way to keep their families above water. This started happening seriously in the seventies. If you want functioning nuclear families back, it’s now going to take a whole lot of wealth redistribution. 
 
I’m not particularly happy about this, but it exists. So my question for you is: Which is more important to you: healthy nuclear families or a lack of government intervention in the economy? I’m afraid we can’t have both, even though I wish we could. Just please don’t pretend we can. 
 
 
Dino Manalis Added Feb 10, 2019 - 2:25pm
 Masculinity is natural, we should be gentlemen.  Parents have to educate their children about the need for personal responsibility with sex.
George N Romey Added Feb 10, 2019 - 2:44pm
When I was a kid we were taught certain things.  Don't talk to strangers, don't walk around in a bad neighborhood at night, don't walk down a dark street. For girls it was there are lot's of creeps out there.  It was called "prevention."  People in this country forget what crime was like 50 years ago.
 
While no crime is justified prevention is.  There will always be rape and other crimes.  Doing common sense things (like not getting blindly drunk at a fraternity party with a bunch of horny men) can reduce your risk of being a victim or crime.  Common sense seems to have gone out of fashion today in exchange for "rights."
Koshersalaami Added Feb 10, 2019 - 2:49pm
Both are a good idea. Getting blind drunk at a fraternity party with a bunch of horny men doesn’t give them the right to rape per se, it’s just seriously stupid.
Unrepentant Added Feb 10, 2019 - 3:56pm
Men are pitchers, women are catchers. End of story.
Unrepentant Added Feb 10, 2019 - 3:59pm
If they didn't act like fucking bitches, cunts, dykes, and whores, then they wouldn't be treated like fucking bitches, cunts, dykes and whores. The problem is...most of them act like fucking bitches, cunts, dykes, and whores.
Koshersalaami Added Feb 10, 2019 - 5:05pm
Well, Boys and Girls, if you didn’t know what Misogynist meant.......
Unrepentant Added Feb 10, 2019 - 5:46pm
Well Boys and Girls, if you didn't know what Annoying Jew meant...
Mustafa Kemal Added Feb 11, 2019 - 10:54pm
Jolly, I have just seen one of my few clear cases of anti-semitism.
Unrepentant Added Feb 12, 2019 - 11:59am
@ Mustafa - Really? Where? Oh wait...I don't give a fuck...never mind, lol.